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Neighbours that wont stfu
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Michael Hickey
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#21 - 2013-07-11 15:27:56 UTC
My neighbours are quiet these days. But the last place I lived in? Holy $@*#! There was constant fighting and partying across the hallway, and that floor always smelled of pot. The cops would be called at least once a week. That poor woman would have her ass beaten by her abusive boyfriend too, but she would always take him back.

Her neighbour was about as nutty as a fruitcake, and she would be sleeping with three or four different guys at one time. That I'll never understand, seeing that she was as big as a house. Shocked

Go two doors back the other way and that would've been the place where a kid was killed, because he got in the way of another drunken loser's fist that was intended for his mother. He skipped town, and they arrested her trying to leave town to go meet up with him, again, because she loved him.

Go up a floor and I can tell you a tale of a crazy woman who committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills, to be found a week later by her own kids, all nice and ripe. I knew those kids, too. What did they do to deserve seeing that?

And yet people IRL wonder why I don't try to make friends. Yeah. After witnessing all of that mess, people just creep me out anymore.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#22 - 2013-07-11 16:06:34 UTC
Zimmy Zeta wrote:
Coming for some helpful tips on neighborhood warfare?
You came to the right place.
OK, first of all it is important that you take yourself enough time- there are several incredibly important steps, some of them may be skipped, but you should try to slowly escalate things over several months.

For starters, have them sent some stuff. If you look on webpages like http://www.totallyfreestuff.com/, you will easily find lots of funny stuff for your neighbours- from Russian p0rn magazines to subscriptions for some crazy neofascist ufology cults- the internet is full of sick stuff, and your neighbours need them.

The next step involves unfortunately searching their garbage. You will want to look for any kind of bills that show their bank account numbers. For most banks this is all you need, and you can use this to block their credit cards by reporting it stolen via an anonymous hotline. Do this at least once per week for great justice and lulz.

For the next step you will need a big syringe filled with minced meat. Somehow you need to gain access to their apartment- should this be too difficult, have a friend dress up like a plumber or electrician and do this. The minced meat must be injected deep into the mattress. For the next days, nothing special will happen, but as the meat slowly starts to decompose, more and more maggots will begin to crawl out of the mattress.

The next and final step does not work in all countries, you will have to educate yourself in standard bureaucratic procedures for home moving in your region. In many countries, a phone call is enough to cancel electricity, gas and water. Just claim to be your neighbor and tell them you are moving houses. Look up the internet for persons with the very same last name that live quite a bit away. Use this address and tell the local post office that you (still pretending to be your neighbor) will be moving there and all mail should be sent to this new address.

From here on I will leave it to your own sick imagination to escalate things further.

Big smile
Some other ideas:
Go to the book store and shake some of the subscription cards out. You know, those "Yes, I would like to receive 12 issues of FitPregnancy for only $15.99. Bill me later" cards. Get 20-30 of them, fill them out with your neighbor's information and mail them in.

Get some stink bait. (It's used in the U.S. for fishing for catfish. You can substitute whatever stinky bait your country has). Find a right time for some ninja work. Put some bait inside each hubcap of your neighbor's car. Enjoy as they vacuum and shampoo the interior of their car, but still can't get the mysterious smell out. (A friend of mine did this to another friend. It really worked, for over six months).

Hunting stores sell a skunk scent. (It's for covering your human smell while hunting). The stuff is so obnoxious and powerful the ingredients come in two separate bottles, to avoid any accidents. One bottle is full of thick oily stuff, the other has what you mix in to activate it. Use your imagination-- there are plenty of uses for nasty skunk scent.
Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#23 - 2013-07-11 17:55:33 UTC
Michael Hickey wrote:
My neighbours are quiet these days. But the last place I lived in? Holy $@*#! There was constant fighting and partying across the hallway, and that floor always smelled of pot. The cops would be called at least once a week. That poor woman would have her ass beaten by her abusive boyfriend too, but she would always take him back.

Her neighbour was about as nutty as a fruitcake, and she would be sleeping with three or four different guys at one time. That I'll never understand, seeing that she was as big as a house. Shocked

Go two doors back the other way and that would've been the place where a kid was killed, because he got in the way of another drunken loser's fist that was intended for his mother. He skipped town, and they arrested her trying to leave town to go meet up with him, again, because she loved him.

Go up a floor and I can tell you a tale of a crazy woman who committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills, to be found a week later by her own kids, all nice and ripe. I knew those kids, too. What did they do to deserve seeing that?

And yet people IRL wonder why I don't try to make friends. Yeah. After witnessing all of that mess, people just creep me out anymore.


There are plenty of 'normal' people out there. Don't shun them all. For example, unless you are an EVE recluse, there are a number of people in EVE that you get along with right?
Michael Hickey
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#24 - 2013-07-11 18:22:10 UTC
Slade Trillgon wrote:
Michael Hickey wrote:
My neighbours are quiet these days. But the last place I lived in? Holy $@*#! There was constant fighting and partying across the hallway, and that floor always smelled of pot. The cops would be called at least once a week. That poor woman would have her ass beaten by her abusive boyfriend too, but she would always take him back.

Her neighbour was about as nutty as a fruitcake, and she would be sleeping with three or four different guys at one time. That I'll never understand, seeing that she was as big as a house. Shocked

Go two doors back the other way and that would've been the place where a kid was killed, because he got in the way of another drunken loser's fist that was intended for his mother. He skipped town, and they arrested her trying to leave town to go meet up with him, again, because she loved him.

Go up a floor and I can tell you a tale of a crazy woman who committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills, to be found a week later by her own kids, all nice and ripe. I knew those kids, too. What did they do to deserve seeing that?

And yet people IRL wonder why I don't try to make friends. Yeah. After witnessing all of that mess, people just creep me out anymore.


There are plenty of 'normal' people out there. Don't shun them all. For example, unless you are an EVE recluse, there are a number of people in EVE that you get along with right?


I know, but it takes a long time to start talking to people again, once you've been exposed to that level of ugliness.

Ironically, I'm now in an area where the neighbours seem normal and quiet, yes, but yet nobody really wants to talk to anyone. I do talk with people on the EVE forum at least, along with a few other unrelated forums. I don't really talk alot in game though I did congratulate the last person that ganked me while I was flashing yellow in highsec.
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#25 - 2013-07-12 02:40:24 UTC  |  Edited by: Mallak Azaria
I had a similar issue that suddenly stopped in January after I played 'Weasel Stomping Day' on repeat at full volume for 6 hours.

This post was lovingly crafted by a member of the Goonwaffe Posting Cabal, proud member of the popular gay hookup site somethingawful.com, Spelling Bee, Grammar Gestapo & #1 Official Gevlon Goblin Fanclub member.
Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#26 - 2013-07-12 11:50:09 UTC
Michael Hickey wrote:
Slade Trillgon wrote:
Michael Hickey wrote:
My neighbours are quiet these days. But the last place I lived in? Holy $@*#! There was constant fighting and partying across the hallway, and that floor always smelled of pot. The cops would be called at least once a week. That poor woman would have her ass beaten by her abusive boyfriend too, but she would always take him back.

Her neighbour was about as nutty as a fruitcake, and she would be sleeping with three or four different guys at one time. That I'll never understand, seeing that she was as big as a house. Shocked

Go two doors back the other way and that would've been the place where a kid was killed, because he got in the way of another drunken loser's fist that was intended for his mother. He skipped town, and they arrested her trying to leave town to go meet up with him, again, because she loved him.

Go up a floor and I can tell you a tale of a crazy woman who committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills, to be found a week later by her own kids, all nice and ripe. I knew those kids, too. What did they do to deserve seeing that?

And yet people IRL wonder why I don't try to make friends. Yeah. After witnessing all of that mess, people just creep me out anymore.


There are plenty of 'normal' people out there. Don't shun them all. For example, unless you are an EVE recluse, there are a number of people in EVE that you get along with right?


I know, but it takes a long time to start talking to people again, once you've been exposed to that level of ugliness.

Ironically, I'm now in an area where the neighbours seem normal and quiet, yes, but yet nobody really wants to talk to anyone. I do talk with people on the EVE forum at least, along with a few other unrelated forums. I don't really talk alot in game though I did congratulate the last person that ganked me while I was flashing yellow in highsec.


Try to find some local outdoor activity pick up leagues, well at least in my city there are many adult rec leagues for kick ball, badminton, futbol.... that are really good for small groups or singles looking to get into a social setting. Heck start going to some concerts for the music you like or go to local art venues. Trust me I know where you are at, due to health reasons, and once you start getting out and adding a couple of friends to the list, it can really start to explode. Just get out.

A very interesting read, The Better Angels of our Nature: Why Violence has Declined, I have started reading actually presents the concept, which I do believe but the media likes us not to believe, that violence has actually been dropping for decades. It is just hard to see it as there is still plenty of violence to saturate us with. The book is not a religious text even though the title uses the religious term Angels.

Also, I will quote Pinkner, "The decline, to be sure, has not been smooth; it has not brought violence down to zero; and it is not guaranteed to continue".
Zimmy Zeta
Perkone
Caldari State
#27 - 2013-07-12 13:44:05 UTC
Khergit Deserters wrote:
(snip)


Most of those "Ruin life tactics" were from partyvan.org, but this page is long since down. But I just discovered that someone had saved some of the more nefarious ideas before it was taken offline : http://img.chan4chan.com/img/2012-01-18/1326902834700.jpg

I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.
Graygor
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#28 - 2013-07-12 14:52:45 UTC
Reading your horror stories makes me glad for the following.

A. I grew up in the countryside and our nearest neighbours were half a mile away.
B. When i lived in oxford i lived with my mate in Summertown away from the yobs on the Cowley Road.
C. I now live in a really plush place with a concierge and all the earthquake damping in the walls mean i never hear anyone ever.

Im never going to complain about noise ever again. Shocked

Still going to complain about heat, weather and other stuff because im british afterall... got to complain about something.

"I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." - Kenneth O'Hara

"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate
Michael Hickey
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#29 - 2013-07-14 01:56:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Michael Hickey
Graygor wrote:
Reading your horror stories makes me glad for the following.

A. I grew up in the countryside and our nearest neighbours were half a mile away.
B. When i lived in oxford i lived with my mate in Summertown away from the yobs on the Cowley Road.
C. I now live in a really plush place with a concierge and all the earthquake damping in the walls mean i never hear anyone ever.

Im never going to complain about noise ever again. Shocked

Still going to complain about heat, weather and other stuff because im british afterall... got to complain about something.



Yeah, it was pretty scary, but on the other hand, I was only there for six months. My wife, before she became my wife, had to endure that craziness for a few years. She's now skittish of people, too. Another thing about the place was that the management there was just as batty - probably from having to deal with all of the troublemakers on a constant basis. So, as soon as we got married, the first thing we did was get ourselves the hell out of there. The one good thing was that we never got into the middle of all that nonsense, simply because we kept to ourselves. Therefore, it was always 'down the hall' and not in our faces.

I think complaining about stuff is really a human trait more than anything. I don't complain so much now since I've moved to Canada a year and a half ago, though.
Something Random
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#30 - 2013-07-14 06:44:52 UTC
Michael Hickey wrote:
My neighbours are quiet these days. But the last place I lived in? Holy $@*#! There was constant fighting and partying across the hallway, and that floor always smelled of pot. The cops would be called at least once a week. That poor woman would have her ass beaten by her abusive boyfriend too, but she would always take him back.

Her neighbour was about as nutty as a fruitcake, and she would be sleeping with three or four different guys at one time. That I'll never understand, seeing that she was as big as a house. Shocked

Go two doors back the other way and that would've been the place where a kid was killed, because he got in the way of another drunken loser's fist that was intended for his mother. He skipped town, and they arrested her trying to leave town to go meet up with him, again, because she loved him.

Go up a floor and I can tell you a tale of a crazy woman who committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills, to be found a week later by her own kids, all nice and ripe. I knew those kids, too. What did they do to deserve seeing that?

And yet people IRL wonder why I don't try to make friends. Yeah. After witnessing all of that mess, people just creep me out anymore.


Student halls ?

"caught on fire a little bit, just a little."

"Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangs all here!"

I love Science, it gives me a Hadron.
Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#31 - 2013-07-14 07:10:35 UTC
My neighbours had a massive fight last night.

At it's peak I would guess there were fifteen people brawling out on the street. Far from being offended by this I watched from the window with glee as they pounded each other into pieces.

I live and work with people like this. Better to let them get on with it sometimes. The only downside was the five year old kids that witnessed it - they aren't going to get a sensible view on the world at 2am in the morning.

Aaaaaaand relax.
Michael Hickey
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#32 - 2013-07-14 14:05:46 UTC
Something Random wrote:
Michael Hickey wrote:
My neighbours are quiet these days. But the last place I lived in? Holy $@*#! There was constant fighting and partying across the hallway, and that floor always smelled of pot. The cops would be called at least once a week. That poor woman would have her ass beaten by her abusive boyfriend too, but she would always take him back.

Her neighbour was about as nutty as a fruitcake, and she would be sleeping with three or four different guys at one time. That I'll never understand, seeing that she was as big as a house. Shocked

Go two doors back the other way and that would've been the place where a kid was killed, because he got in the way of another drunken loser's fist that was intended for his mother. He skipped town, and they arrested her trying to leave town to go meet up with him, again, because she loved him.

Go up a floor and I can tell you a tale of a crazy woman who committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills, to be found a week later by her own kids, all nice and ripe. I knew those kids, too. What did they do to deserve seeing that?

And yet people IRL wonder why I don't try to make friends. Yeah. After witnessing all of that mess, people just creep me out anymore.


Student halls ?


Nah. Just regular people being idiots.
Sirinda
Ekchuah's Shrine Comporium
#33 - 2013-07-16 08:16:47 UTC
Well.

Take a plastic bottle, 1L or more.

Fill around 200mL of water into it.

Add some mole poison.

Screw shut tight.

THROW AWAY ASAP!

Smile.

Wait for boom.
Hessian Arcturus
Doomheim
#34 - 2013-07-17 21:38:20 UTC
2 x Browning 9mm pistols Big smile

It's human nature to want to explore. To find your line and go beyond it. The only limit, is the one you set yourself.
Domanique Altares
Rifterlings
#35 - 2013-07-17 23:19:27 UTC
You know OP, you're more than welcome to come upstairs and join us anytime. We don't mind including the building in our 'parties.'
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
#36 - 2013-07-18 00:01:43 UTC
In America it's harder. Most people can't finish a sentence any more. So you get stuff like this all night:

"uh..,. yeah! Ha ha! woooooo!"

"Like... yeah what? Dicks! "

"No f**ck... huh? Oh yeah!"

"what you mean.. oh yes that oh oh what ha ha!"


In 10 years it's going to be nothing but grunting.


At the least they are too stupid to be dangerous and I live on five acres that I rent for half what an apartment in the city costs so their house of tard is a football field length away.

Bring back DEEEEP Space!
Liafcipe9000
Critically Preposterous
#37 - 2013-07-18 06:39:39 UTC
1. buy gun
2. buy bomb
3. plant bomb next to front door
4. knock on door
5. wait til they open door
6. ???
7. profit!
Graygor
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#38 - 2013-07-18 07:53:14 UTC
Liafcipe9000 wrote:
1. buy gun
2. buy bomb
3. plant bomb next to front door
4. knock on door
5. wait til they open door
6. ???
7. profit!


Reality
1. buy gun
2. buy bomb
3. Get arrested by shinbet
4. ???
5. Anal trauma.

Blink

"I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." - Kenneth O'Hara

"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate
Domanique Altares
Rifterlings
#39 - 2013-07-18 21:12:15 UTC
Graygor wrote:
Liafcipe9000 wrote:
1. buy gun
2. buy bomb
3. plant bomb next to front door
4. knock on door
5. wait til they open door
6. ???
7. profit!


Reality
1. buy gun
2. buy bomb
3. Get arrested by shinbet
4. ???
5. Anal trauma.

Blink


Actuality:
1. Buy wine
2. Buy petrol
3. Drink wine
4. Fill bottles with petrol
5. ???
6. Go to hospital burn unit
Something Random
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#40 - 2013-07-18 23:12:48 UTC
Domanique Altares wrote:
Graygor wrote:
Liafcipe9000 wrote:
1. buy gun
2. buy bomb
3. plant bomb next to front door
4. knock on door
5. wait til they open door
6. ???
7. profit!


Reality
1. buy gun
2. buy bomb
3. Get arrested by shinbet
4. ???
5. Anal trauma.

Blink


Actuality:
1. Buy wine
2. Buy petrol
3. Drink wine
4. Fill bottles with petrol
5. ???
6. Go to hospital burn unit


Planet Earth :

1. Think of the above while getting drunk and /or High.
2. Annoy the other neighbours.

"caught on fire a little bit, just a little."

"Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangs all here!"

I love Science, it gives me a Hadron.
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