Crime & Punishment

Can it be? Has it truly been 60 days since I created Duke and began my life of piracy?

According to the calendar it has, but you wouldn't know it looking at my performance. In fact, I've had an especially abysmal track record over the last week--finding few targets, seeing most of them get away, and when I do get a fight it's my ship which turns into sparkling, "Twilight"-vampire farts.

So, of course, I'm sitting here asking what I like to think of as Failure's First Question: "Why?"

Day 60

I don't know if you play any sports, but I enjoy a few, and I've noticed something about my--and others'--progress in athletic pursuits.

Take basketball as an example.

The first time you find yourself with a basketball in your hands and a hoop in front of you, your technique can probably best be described as "non-existent." If you look anything like I did the first time I took a shot, it's like you're having some kind of seizure. Every limb is out of sync as the ball sails up, hits the backboard, then bounces away at mach three into your soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend's face--and she is not impressed! Even when you offer her your shirt to help stop the bleeding, the ungrateful little…

Anyway, after the breakup, you find you have a lot of time on your hands, and you end up heading on down to the court every other day. Pretty soon, you're making baskets. Your technique is still…original, but you're getting the ball over the rim and into the hoop more and more often.

More importantly, you're having fun!

Ah, but then something happens. What was once a pastime begins to look more and more like a serious pursuit. You begin to read books, watch YouTube videos, and--dare I say it?--you even ask other basketball players for pointers.

Now you're screwed.

Because now you know your technique stinks and you decide to do it right. You start using your legs for power, you keep your elbow under the ball, and you watch your follow-through like a dingo watching an unattended newborn.

And as soon as you do that, everything falls apart.

You miss most of your shots, stop having fun, and maybe even throw that basketball right through your ex-girlfriend's window because she still hasn't returned your leather jacket which actually touched a girl who touched a guy who once hung out with Joey Ramone.

Hang on, I need a cigarette. And maybe a Xanax.

Alright, I really am trying to make a point here. I promise.

See, any time you go from just playing at something to trying to develop real skill, there's an abyss you need to cross: a place where you get worse before you improve. It's frustrating, because you've abandoned what was working for you, with only a vague promise you'll find more success doing it the Right Way.

It's a leap of faith, if you will, and I'm in mid-leap.

Managing heat, paying attention to ranges, recognizing whether I need to kite, brawl, or run from the fit I just jumped--none of this is second-nature to me yet. And my lack of success has me doubting pretty much everything about my approach.

Should I finally succumb to the advice of others and glue the plate back on my Rifter? Should I switch to a Slasher? Should I start carrying ammo for long range in addition to the straight up damage stuff?

Today even had me questioning whether or not this whole PvP thing is just a big waste of time. Especially after an absolutely ridiculous loss to a rail-fit Merlin I happily let kite me to death. I made every mistake you can think of, and quite a few more if I don't say so myself.

In fact, this was the first day I've spent in EVE where even the very idea of "fun" seemed as remote as the furthest star.

You might have noticed I'm a good-humored, happy-go-lucky sort of person. In my world, Internet Spaceships is not "serious business" as some might say. After that fight, though...

Anyway, a little later I was doing a little thinly-veiled bitching to a corpmate, telling him about the Merlin incident. Oh, I kept my tone all nonchalant, with plenty of lol's thrown in for good measure, but really I was thinking: "I suck so [EXPLETIVE ONLY RELUCTANTLY DELETED] hard at this game. WTF is wrong with me?"

A little while later though, I was speaking with Duke Thunderhorse--the CEO of my corp, whom I've come to think of as Original Recipe Duke, because after all my losses I'm surely Extra Crispy by now--and he lead me to realize that even though I did everything wrong on that last fight, I knew exactly which mistakes I'd made after the fight was over.

That fight with the Merlin, which I'd thought was the absolute worst of my entire pirate career, suddenly turned into the best because it taught me something no guide, video, or word-of-mouth advice can...

Don't worry if you don't win every fight, just try to learn every lesson.

Absolutely. Rifters are not what they used to be.

It's nice to know I'm remembered.

Real life's got me running around like a space chicken with its head cut off, leaving me with almost no time for EVE. Add in the glorious weather my area's experiencing--and my life-long love of the outdoors--and you have the perfect recipe for a pirate stuck in station.

So, while I'm finally taking the time to round out some skills I kept putting off--training Advanced Weapons Upgrades 4 now--a lack of stuff doing means a lack of stuff worth writing about.

Here's hoping I get a little more time for myself in the coming weeks so I won't have to choose between EVE and, say, going hiking. 'Cause let's face it, as hot as Beverly is, she's got nothing on Mr. Sun.

Very nice reading, I love it. Thanks for all the fun.

As a new player and soon low-sec pirate, it helps me a lot to see the path to follow, and how much time it could take to have my first solo kill...

I was thinking about writing my own diary, but compared to yours, it would just be bad, if not worse... ^^

Anyway, good luck for your futur stories, and maybe I'll have the opportunity to fight against you and learn something

Fly safe pilot.

I'm glad you enjoy it and that you'll soon be among the nefarious.

Regarding that first kill: yeah, patience is mandatory--mainly because good targets are few and far between. With any luck, though, the changes coming to low sec with the expansion will help improve the situation.

Good luck!

good read! :) hope you find a solution for that nasty thing that pains you while sitting in the PC Chair so you can more

way to go!

This reminds me of an old pirate blog I used to read. You probably don't recognize the name Ka Jolo, but members of the corp he founded years ago are posting here...

http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=851596

Keep up the great work, and I hope your back improves.