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custom offices and walnuts

Author
Ckra Trald
Ckra Trald Corporation
#1 - 2013-06-20 18:58:49 UTC
Orbital Customs Offices are the primary points of contact between planetary and interplanetary economies. These facilities, resembling massive hangars in space, provide high-volume, high-frequency cargo transport services between a planet's surface and orbit.

Excerpt from the Amarr Prime Customs Agency regulations, section 17, subsection 4, paragraph 8:

The following items may only be imported or exported with the express prior approval of the Imperial Underscrivener for Commercial Affairs:

Narcotic substances; handheld firearms; slaver hounds (except as personal property); Mindflood; live insects; ungulates; Class 1 refrigerants and aerosols; forced laborers/personal slaves (or other sapient livestock); animal germ-plasm; biomass of human origin; xenobiotics; walnuts.

Walnuts. Why are they illegal or dangerous? Stealth Covops nerf or what?

http://www.rusemen.com/ Join Tengoo xd

Gealbhan
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#2 - 2013-06-20 19:04:18 UTC
I think it might be a reference to the tom hanks movie, the terminal. A guy in the movie tried to smuggle drugs inside walnut shells.
Ckra Trald
Ckra Trald Corporation
#3 - 2013-06-20 19:05:59 UTC
Gealbhan wrote:
I think it might be a reference to the tom hanks movie, the terminal. A guy in the movie tried to smuggle drugs inside walnut shells.



could be

http://www.rusemen.com/ Join Tengoo xd

Steve Spooner
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#4 - 2013-06-20 19:06:22 UTC
Ohhhh that's a good idea. Hide blue pills in walnuts then hide in walnuts in a package then double wrap the package so when your freighter gets suicide ganked all that drops is 800000m3 of walnuts....filled with drugs.
GreenSeed
#5 - 2013-06-20 19:29:35 UTC
Steve Spooner wrote:
Ohhhh that's a good idea. Hide blue pills in walnuts then hide in walnuts in a package then double wrap the package so when your freighter gets suicide ganked all that drops is 800000m3 of walnuts....filled with drugs.

well, i guess hiding them in walnuts beats wrapping them in packages and force feeding them to Minnie slaves... something to do with the ammount of usable space inside a walnut compared to the space inside a slave; and also consider that in relation to the total volume used by walnuts when compared to... wait. wtf am i doing? thinking about mass smuggling of drugs stuck inside people?

this game is turning me into a monster.Straight
Infinity Ziona
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2013-06-20 19:39:05 UTC
The Amarr have tiny walnuts. The importation of normal sized walnuts would threaten their already fragile egos.

CCP Fozzie “We can see how much money people are making in nullsec and it is, a gigantic amount, a shit-ton… in null sec anomalies. “*

Kaalrus pwned..... :)

Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#7 - 2013-06-20 21:35:47 UTC
The walnut was banned from being exported via customs offices because of the Great Walnut Uprising of 21539.

Walnuts had been growing and evolving since human beings had first come through the eve gate. After 19000 years, they finally gained sentience and literacy. Seeing this emergent race as an opportunity for cheap slave labor, the Amarr quickly lead a campaign to enslave the entire walnut population. The walnuts were originally confined to Sarum Prime to keep their population in check. After 600 years of slavery, a small band of walnuts stole away on an outbound customs rocket. From the customs office, the walnuts commandiered a small shuttle and fled to the next system.

From that moment on, the walnuts started colonizing worlds one by one, using the POCOs to gain access to planets. Many efforts were made to try and stop the walnut population from using the POCOs. All plans failed and the walnuts continued to spread. This lead the Amarr empire to start exterminationg the walnuts with impunity. Finally, in 21539, the walnuts took control of an orbitting station and confiscated the ships inside and used them to make war upon the empire which had killed so many of their bretheren.

After 35 years of fighting the great Walnut fleets, the Amarr claimed victory and engineered a plague to wipe out all remaining walnuts from the universe, save for those on Sarum Prime who to this day remain in service to the Empress. Strict protocols were enacted at all POCOs accross the universe to keep walnuts from escaping once again.

Thus is the story of why walnuts are not allowed in POCOs.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?

Ckra Trald
Ckra Trald Corporation
#8 - 2013-06-20 21:56:49 UTC
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
The walnut was banned from being exported via customs offices because of the Great Walnut Uprising of 21539.

Walnuts had been growing and evolving since human beings had first come through the eve gate. After 19000 years, they finally gained sentience and literacy. Seeing this emergent race as an opportunity for cheap slave labor, the Amarr quickly lead a campaign to enslave the entire walnut population. The walnuts were originally confined to Sarum Prime to keep their population in check. After 600 years of slavery, a small band of walnuts stole away on an outbound customs rocket. From the customs office, the walnuts commandiered a small shuttle and fled to the next system.

From that moment on, the walnuts started colonizing worlds one by one, using the POCOs to gain access to planets. Many efforts were made to try and stop the walnut population from using the POCOs. All plans failed and the walnuts continued to spread. This lead the Amarr empire to start exterminationg the walnuts with impunity. Finally, in 21539, the walnuts took control of an orbitting station and confiscated the ships inside and used them to make war upon the empire which had killed so many of their bretheren.

After 35 years of fighting the great Walnut fleets, the Amarr claimed victory and engineered a plague to wipe out all remaining walnuts from the universe, save for those on Sarum Prime who to this day remain in service to the Empress. Strict protocols were enacted at all POCOs accross the universe to keep walnuts from escaping once again.

Thus is the story of why walnuts are not allowed in POCOs.


I can confirm the Sisters of EvE has currently commenced walnut salvation training

http://www.rusemen.com/ Join Tengoo xd

Elliavir
Miskatonic Mercantile
#9 - 2013-06-22 04:52:37 UTC
Ckra Trald wrote:
Orbital Customs Offices are the primary points of contact between planetary and interplanetary economies. These facilities, resembling massive hangars in space, provide high-volume, high-frequency cargo transport services between a planet's surface and orbit.

Excerpt from the Amarr Prime Customs Agency regulations, section 17, subsection 4, paragraph 8:

The following items may only be imported or exported with the express prior approval of the Imperial Underscrivener for Commercial Affairs:

Narcotic substances; handheld firearms; slaver hounds (except as personal property); Mindflood; live insects; ungulates; Class 1 refrigerants and aerosols; forced laborers/personal slaves (or other sapient livestock); animal germ-plasm; biomass of human origin; xenobiotics; walnuts.

Walnuts. Why are they illegal or dangerous? Stealth Covops nerf or what?


I note that they ban both ungulates and walnuts... Invader Zim easter egg? Because the absolute worst possible fate for anyone would be to find out that a wormhole leads into a room with a moose. And walnuts. Even the Amarr don't deserve that.
ACE McFACE
Dirt 'n' Glitter
Local Is Primary
#10 - 2013-06-22 07:15:08 UTC  |  Edited by: ACE McFACE
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
The walnut was banned from being exported via customs offices because of the Great Walnut Uprising of 21539.

Walnuts had been growing and evolving since human beings had first come through the eve gate. After 19000 years, they finally gained sentience and literacy. Seeing this emergent race as an opportunity for cheap slave labor, the Amarr quickly lead a campaign to enslave the entire walnut population. The walnuts were originally confined to Sarum Prime to keep their population in check. After 600 years of slavery, a small band of walnuts stole away on an outbound customs rocket. From the customs office, the walnuts commandiered a small shuttle and fled to the next system.

From that moment on, the walnuts started colonizing worlds one by one, using the POCOs to gain access to planets. Many efforts were made to try and stop the walnut population from using the POCOs. All plans failed and the walnuts continued to spread. This lead the Amarr empire to start exterminationg the walnuts with impunity. Finally, in 21539, the walnuts took control of an orbitting station and confiscated the ships inside and used them to make war upon the empire which had killed so many of their bretheren.

After 35 years of fighting the great Walnut fleets, the Amarr claimed victory and engineered a plague to wipe out all remaining walnuts from the universe, save for those on Sarum Prime who to this day remain in service to the Empress. Strict protocols were enacted at all POCOs accross the universe to keep walnuts from escaping once again.

Thus is the story of why walnuts are not allowed in POCOs.

You forgot to mention that a few walnuts managed to flee to Gallente space where they were integrated into society, known for their fearless fighting spirit and the fact that they are eager to serve their saviours they make up a large portion of the Federation's feared 329th Battalion, which played a large and important roll in the liberation of Caldari Prime.

Now, more than ever, we need a dislike button.

Ma'Baker McCandless
The McCandless Clan
#11 - 2013-06-22 09:35:37 UTC
ACE McFACE wrote:
...which played a large and important roll in the liberation of Caldari Prime.




Ah see whut y'all did thar
mr ed thehouseofed
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2013-06-22 09:41:49 UTC
i like walnuts Big smile

i want a eve pinball machine...  confirming  CCP Cognac is best cognac