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Crime & Punishment

 
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Test Mercenaries Srs Business *sagenods Or Worst Scam Ever? YOU DECIDE!!!
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Sanai Nobuseri
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2013-05-18 18:54:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Sanai Nobuseri
TwistedLOOOOOOOOLTwisted




I rolled out of bed this morning vaguely aware that the shelter I live in let us sleep in on a Saturday, I stood in line, Ate my breakfast took a shower and navigated through a dangerous neighborhood of cracked out homeless people, swindlers and other various unsavory characters to a nicer neighborhood in order too sit down and have some tea at a Starbucks as I usually begin my day browsing the employment adds for local restaurants in order to find myself a summer job. Well lo and behold I log into eve to have a look around and the first thing I see is this glorious message sent to me by a member of Test. I was thinking to myself what pray tell would someone from Test alliance want from me? I checked the person who sent it, was not from one of my brothers alts so figured I would just delete it and go about my day like I usually do. Well for whatever reason I got curious and decided that curiosity must be indulged. So I opened the message and lo and behold I got to read these words.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warning
From: kermity
Sent: 2013.05.18 04:01
To: Sanaii Nobuseri,

Hello, my name is Kermity and I am contacting you as the leader of Dreddit's Mercenarial Activities Division. Recently I have been hired to succesfully do one of two things to you and your corp.

A) Collect 200m from you directly.
B) Collect 250m in killmails from your corp.

I would like to stress that this is just business and not a personal attack. Any attempt at denying this will result in a battle between members of a 4000 man corp and yours.

My employer wishes to remain anonymous throughout this transaction until it has seen completion.

Thank you for your time,

Kermity
Mercenarial Activities Division
Dreddit, TEST Alliance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, as I read this message I could not help but just break out into laughter, I went from spending a miserable unemployed night in a Homeless shelter surrounded by drug addled over aggressive vagrants that dont understand personal property and having a pretty ****** morning to having an incredibly wonderful laugh. I mean it made me smile and turned my crappy morning into a beautiful ray of sunshine.


First:RollTest bros, Srsly? you really really need to have a meeting with your members to learn new scams cause this Is just sloppy and just reeks of desperation.

Second:Pirate I would happily be at war with Test and any other major Alliance right now cause it gives me thousands of new targets so I dont even need to leave highsec to fight you.

Third:Shocked WTF???!!!! did you even bother to look? we do highsec war decs why the hell would we even remotely care should you dec us? Hell I would dec every major alliance in eve save the damned dec fee is f'ing expensive.

Fourth:Twisted Were you to declare war on us and I really really really really really really really really really really really really wish you would but i doubt it will happen, every single highsec pvp Merc and grief-er corp in eve would want to jump on the wardec to save the 500mil it takes to shoot at your pilots and the paltry 250 mil isk in kills you want to extract from us would probably result in several billion in losses on your side? I would literally have to screen applicants to get in on this wardec it would be so crazy.

Fifth:IdeaIdeaIdeaIdea At the last moment I could just make it mutual and enjoy a perma war with test never allowing you to break the dec without an absurdly high surrender fee and just allow people to come and go as they like in order to take shots at you all whenever they please >_<

I still cannot stop laughing at the pure ludicrousness of this letter, it is freaking hilarious, I mean at first I almost felt flattered that someone I wardecced might have bitched enough and had connections to make something like that happened, but after about 30 seconds of getting my morning caffeine into my system I realized it was just freaking funny as hell LOL.

I cant decide weather this was a very stupid scam attempt, or even remotely serious and extremely hilarious threat >_<

LolAlso thank you so so so much for making a miserable morning not quite so miserable >_<Lol

TwistedAnyways anyone feel like a free war dec?Twisted






On a side note, ccp really does need to let us add picks and have sigs and what not on the forums here. Also colored text and other tools to make blocks of test less fing annoying would be nice.
Reppyk
The Black Shell
#2 - 2013-05-18 19:20:02 UTC
One more smiley and I'll hit you with a bat. In the game of course.

I AM SPACE CAPTAIN REPPYK. BEWARE.

Proud co-admin of frugu.net, a French fansite about EVE !
Murk Paradox
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#3 - 2013-05-18 19:37:19 UTC
Sanai Nobuseri wrote:
TwistedLOOOO....





C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

On a side note, that is a random generated and spammed eve mail sent to a lot of people to fish free iskies.

Good luck on your search (newspaper ads).

This post has been signed by Murk Paradox and no other accounts, alternate or otherwise. Any other post claiming to be this holder's is subject to being banned at the discretion of the GM Team as it would violate the TOS in regards to impersonation. Signed, Murk Paradox. In triplicate.
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#4 - 2013-05-18 22:42:19 UTC
I get them to..

I normally just respond with "Blow it out your hole" and then continue about my business.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk
Tetsuo Tsukaya
Perkone
Caldari State
#5 - 2013-05-18 23:03:43 UTC
Oh ****, does the mutual war/endless war thing still exist? We could have take. Advantage of that a few weeks ago but I thought it had been patched
Xayder
modro
The Initiative.
#6 - 2013-05-18 23:45:35 UTC
NEED MOAR RAGE RIGHT THERE

I don't always post, But when i post I do it with my main
Xayder
modro
The Initiative.
#7 - 2013-05-18 23:46:01 UTC
TwistedLOOOOOOOOOOLTwisted

I don't always post, But when i post I do it with my main
Tora Bushido
The Marmite Mercenaries
BLACKFLAG.
#8 - 2013-05-19 01:01:17 UTC
I never get these nice mails........ I WANT A FREE WAR TOO ! Would save me 500M/week Twisted

DELETE THE WEAK, ADAPT OR DIE !

Meta Gaming Level VII, Psycho Warfare Level X, Smack Talk Level VII.
kermity
Japanese Whaling Fleet
#9 - 2013-06-04 18:42:24 UTC
#NoRegrets


10B and counting.

YOLOYOLOYOLO

#DELVE2012
Giantmoth
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#10 - 2013-06-04 18:47:29 UTC
Can we consider this as an advanced form of tears?
kermity
Japanese Whaling Fleet
#11 - 2013-06-04 21:36:39 UTC
Giantmoth wrote:
Can we consider this as an advanced form of tears?



If you want, this can be Johnson and Johnson brand soap.
beancounter Jaynara
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2013-06-05 13:40:23 UTC

Perhaps it's not a scam. Maybe he really was hired. Can you think of anyone you may have angered? Did you shoot at someone? Or perhaps you mined someone's asteroid?

Or perhaps the evemail was intended for someone else?

Did you try contacting the person who sent this to try and understand?

Corp Recruitment Specialist- now for hire! For a small fee, I will grow your corp, using all the secrets I have learned in powerful nullsec alliances that they don't want you to know about!  Beware jelly haters who will contact you with vicious lies!  They just want to keep these secrets to themselves!