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Crime & Punishment

 
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High sec war dec? Tired of having bullies kick sand in your face? L Trassler, mercenary for hire
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Larkonis Trassler
Doctrine.
FEARLESS.
#1 - 2013-05-21 19:25:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Larkonis Trassler
Hello C&P. It's been a long time since I've posted here!
Larkonis Trassler, king of C&P, space commander, pirate and former e-politician here.

I'm pretty aghast at the plight of many a highsec player under the threat of a wardec by those who have superior in game and out of game skills. Personally I think it's 'not on'. So I'm going to offer you a service.

If you live in high sec and are the victim of a war dec and you are willing to fight then I may be able to help you out. I have one or two spare characters who are highsec capable who I'm willing to throw in your corporation for a while. I'm willing to teach you how to maximise your fighting potential, no matter how low your SP are. I have almost eight years of in game experience from hisec to 0.0, have FC'd small frig gangs to dozens of capitals.

In terms of what I can do for you...

Tuition on basic combat tactics, d-scanning, evading your enemy and getting your pod out!
Tuition on maximising cost effectiveness (and fun!)
No ego fleet commanding, I want to chill out and have some fun.

I'm EU TZ usually around and about from 1800-2200 on weekdays.

My fee?
Well, that's negotiable depending on your circumstances. I may charge a nominal fee for any losses I suffer, I may work 'pro bono' or I may even subsidise some operations.

Hit me up in game if you are interested.

FEARLESS. Presents: Man Love Thursdays. Mid week roam with free ships and easy kills. We are also recruiting
Andrea Griffin
#2 - 2013-05-21 19:47:21 UTC
Larkonis is a common fleet commander for Gank Night. He's cool under pressure and knows his stuff. If you're willing to listen and follow his commands in a fight, it won't be long before your carebear corp grows some teeth.

CCP Sreegs is my favorite developer.
ry ry
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#3 - 2013-05-21 19:48:54 UTC  |  Edited by: ry ry
Larkon knows his ****

If i wasn't already irredemably **** at eve, he may well be the only man alive who could help me suck less.
Barakkus
#4 - 2013-05-21 23:14:19 UTC
I endorse this product and/or service.

http://youtu.be/yytbDZrw1jc
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#5 - 2013-05-22 05:59:26 UTC
I gather he himself wont be coming since I don't see much threat in somebody trying to attack me in a war when he sec status is almost -10.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk
Grunanca
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2013-05-22 06:19:49 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
I gather he himself wont be coming since I don't see much threat in somebody trying to attack me in a war when he sec status is almost -10.


Which is why he said he would use his 2 other chars for it...
enterprisePSI
#7 - 2013-05-22 07:53:21 UTC
Larkonis is an absolute professional, and i would recommend him , and use his service again in the future.

The tears of the many, outweigh the tears of the few. Or the one. enterprise-psi©
Larkonis Trassler
Doctrine.
FEARLESS.
#8 - 2013-05-24 12:55:11 UTC
ry ry
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#9 - 2013-05-24 16:07:37 UTC  |  Edited by: ry ry
Cannibal Kane wrote:
I gather he himself wont be coming since I don't see much threat in somebody trying to attack me in a war when he sec status is almost -10.


The question you should ask yourself, is why would somebody go -10 without a handful of alternative ('alt') characters to do stuff like going down to the shops and driving warfare link spaceships ('links') around.

That silly sausage larkonis is trapped in lowsec forever now, if only he'd listened to you ::(((((
Private Pineapple
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#10 - 2013-05-24 16:53:09 UTC
After my shower today I did some dancing and shuffling with my dead dog, then I got onto my computer. To my surprise, I saw this thread. Totally horrified and disturbed, I decided I would research this random Larkonis Trassler whatever person. To my even greater surprise than before, I found this. I had trolled him in 2010 on a character I sold a long time ago!

Citizens of C&P. Ask yourself this.

Would you really want to hire a man (or woman... or it) who is this easily trolled?

Would you really want to hire a man who does not know how to properly condition his hair?

Would you really want to hire a man who hasn't seen sunlight in years?

Drink some pineapple juice and avoid this gullible man (or woman... or it).

.
StoneCold
Decadence.
RAZOR Alliance
#11 - 2013-05-24 20:23:54 UTC
What c&p realy needs is more kings.

My true stories
Shakra Geten
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2013-05-28 19:37:04 UTC
I had a lesson with Larkonis, and he was tremendously helpful. I highly recommend his services.
Mirage Excelsior
The Raven Warriors
#13 - 2013-05-29 18:32:57 UTC
This needs approving.

If anyone can teach you a few tricks, Lark is the one to do it.
Larkonis Trassler
Doctrine.
FEARLESS.
#14 - 2013-05-31 18:46:26 UTC
Shakra Geten wrote:
I had a lesson with Larkonis, and he was tremendously helpful. I highly recommend his services.


Mr Geten asked me for my time after getting wardecced. He was wise enough to realise that there was no point in chasing the two man corp who decced him but asked me for some tuition on some basic skills which he could pass on to future corp mates.

Spent a little while with him going over some of the basics of combat in EVE and then we headed out to lowsec and actually managed to kill something between us.

All free of charge of course. Mr Geten was probably one of the most receptive people I've had to teach ever.

FEARLESS. Presents: Man Love Thursdays. Mid week roam with free ships and easy kills. We are also recruiting
Grarr Dexx
Blue Canary
Watch This
#15 - 2013-05-31 22:01:14 UTC
how do i flied ships
Larkonis Trassler
Doctrine.
FEARLESS.
#16 - 2013-06-11 18:31:20 UTC
GET HYPED!

Uncle Lark will help you out with your wardec.

No need to disband.

Be taught how to fish and fight back those bullies today!

FEARLESS. Presents: Man Love Thursdays. Mid week roam with free ships and easy kills. We are also recruiting
De'Veldrin
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#17 - 2013-06-11 18:40:14 UTC
Welcome back Lark. I find that since you and Lana and a lot of the other regular C&P posters went poof into the ether (whatever happened to Lexa?) the quality of the posting here has steadily declined until it best be described as "ewww."

De'Veldrin's Corollary (to Malcanis' Law): Any idea that seeks to limit the ability of a large nullsec bloc to do something in the name of allowing more small groups into sov null will inevitably make it that much harder for small groups to enter sov null.
Larkonis Trassler
Doctrine.
FEARLESS.
#18 - 2013-06-11 18:58:50 UTC
De'Veldrin wrote:
Welcome back Lark. I find that since you and Lana and a lot of the other regular C&P posters went poof into the ether (whatever happened to Lexa?) the quality of the posting here has steadily declined until it best be described as "ewww."


Heh... I'd have thought you to be the least likely to welcome me back.

FEARLESS. Presents: Man Love Thursdays. Mid week roam with free ships and easy kills. We are also recruiting
De'Veldrin
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2013-06-11 19:34:30 UTC
Larkonis Trassler wrote:
De'Veldrin wrote:
Welcome back Lark. I find that since you and Lana and a lot of the other regular C&P posters went poof into the ether (whatever happened to Lexa?) the quality of the posting here has steadily declined until it best be described as "ewww."


Heh... I'd have thought you to be the least likely to welcome me back.


I've mellowed with age and time in game. I almost never rage about Goons anymore Lol.

Time spent in nullsec has given me quite a bit of perspective, tbh. Realized I was taking the game waaaay too seriously, took a 9 month break and came back with a more laid-back outlook.

Now it's about making things explode and having fun. Got into a tussle with the Initiative last night, lost a talwar and my pod and had a blast.

De'Veldrin's Corollary (to Malcanis' Law): Any idea that seeks to limit the ability of a large nullsec bloc to do something in the name of allowing more small groups into sov null will inevitably make it that much harder for small groups to enter sov null.
Lady Spank
Get Out Nasty Face
#20 - 2013-06-11 19:45:35 UTC
It is not the critic that counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or the doer of deeds could have them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the Arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but he who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great devotion; who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls, who know neither victory nor defeat.

(ಠ_ృ) ~ It Takes a Million Years to Become Diamonds So Lets Just Burn Like Coal Until the Sky's Black ~ (ಠ_ృ)
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