Crime & Punishment

Do you hate bullies?! Do you like your lunch and want to keep your mom's money in YOUR pocket? Do you have a pro-activ subscription?!

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then you have *** to the right place.

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Wardec U is a professional video game corporation that takes the business of space ships seriously. We form synergistic relationships with all of our cyber clients and look to manufacture opportunites for profit and success. In lamens terms, we all wear suits and carry breifcases when we play eve.

Eve is a game of industry. A game where you can totally make so much cyber money that you will still be poor in real life. We believe in this philosophy and have penned a dynamite mission statement for all of our customers to stare at with arms folded.

MISSION STATEMENT:
"Because nothing is more valuable in the world than ISK"

Our services include but are not limited to:
- Wardecing Corps and Alliances that are hurting your feelings
- Cyber sexing members of your corp or another corp
- Get after those bullies that stole your lunch money in high school and still do so.
- Intimidation and snarky comments in local
- British and American studs available for sexual favors.
- Helping clients organize and develop a corp titling system to provide those lacking purpose with a concrete and important role.

Our corp is comprised of a bunch of half naked dudes with boners who have absolutely no real friends and no future. We just sit here all day and act like we are business man by cloning cliche business terms and referring to internet retards as "clients"

Our primary goal when playing video games is to make so much fake internet money than we can save $15 dollars a month to buy PLEX. This makes us feel the sense of accomplishment that has been so foreign to us for years. All members of our corp combined have a grand total of real life accomplishments that include: *Participant Ribbon for 4th Grade Spelling Bee*

We feel that pirates are bullies and jerk-o's who need to be pooed on. And that miners need to be protected constantly because CONCORD, Ore Bays, and Suspect rules just aren't enough. We are High Sec hero's who like to high five a LOT.

In conclusion, if you have a giant, gaping axe wound between your unwashed thighs, please hire us for 500,000,000,000 ISK per Wardec. We will make all your problems go away in real life and in Eve. We will tell your parents that you aren't losers and help you find uglier chics who won't be put off by your hideous looks.

Contact us today!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHVfVv7-crU

Confirming these dudes do murder!

Did wonders for me, amazed at their proficiency. Defiantly worth hiring. They are dedicated.

Awesome write up. Had me in stitches lol