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there is a cloaked spider on my wall
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Alex Grison
Grison Universal
#1 - 2013-05-22 09:25:51 UTC  |  Edited by: Alex Grison
ok this is serious. tonight its 2:23 in the morning and I am tired. I start seeing things as usual. There is a slightly darker spot on the wall. and every day at about 1 in the morning it starts to look like spider. And I hate spider.

I have discovered that there is a very real and cloaked spider on my wall. I suspect that spider is using an acrachnis modified cloaking device.

what do i do.

yes
Ernok en Brauhn
MotsuFleet Logistics
#2 - 2013-05-22 09:28:27 UTC
Enjoy those drugs man
Rhivre
TarNec
Invisible Exchequer
#3 - 2013-05-22 09:32:53 UTC
Hello,

I am your friendly neighbourhood biologist,

I am here to tell you that this AFK cloaked spider is working as intended, it is just lonely while it is waiting for its friends to arrive via the latest in web technology.

As we speak, it is relaying information regarding your room back to its network of associates, who will be on the other side of the gate...erm, I mean, door.

In situations like this, it is best to go about your business as normal, while keeping an eye on the region you suspect the spider to be in.

If it moves, it will temporarily uncloak.

Otherwise, my advice would be to do a grid by grid search of the affected area.

This is fairly resource intensive, and will require you to recruit your entire neighbourhood.

Fluffy Bunny Pic!

Nerath Naaris
Pink Winged Unicorns for Peace Love and Anarchy
#4 - 2013-05-22 09:33:53 UTC
Move within 2,5 cm of it and it should decloak.

Je suis Paris // Köln // Brüssel // Orlando // Nice // Würzburg, München, Ansbach // Saint-Étienne-du-Rouvray

Je suis Berlin // Fort Lauderdale // London // St. Petersburg // Stockholm

Je suis [?]
ACE McFACE
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2013-05-22 09:34:37 UTC
That spider has been playing too much EVE.

Now, more than ever, we need a dislike button.
Jarod Garamonde
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2013-05-22 09:43:42 UTC
Alex Grison wrote:
ok this is serious. tonight its 2:23 in the morning and I am tired. I start seeing things as usual. There is a slightly darker spot on the wall. and every day at about 1 in the morning it starts to look like spider. And I hate spider.

I have discovered that there is a very real and cloaked spider on my wall. I suspect that spider is using an acrachnis modified cloaking device.

what do i do.



That depends on if your living room is highsec or not.
CONCORD will get you if so... wait until the spider aggros you.

That moment when you realize the crazy lady with all the cats was right...

    [#savethelance]
Stegas Tyrano
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2013-05-22 09:44:55 UTC
Smartbomb the entire room.

Herping your derp since 19Potato - [url=https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=2403364][Proposal] - Ingame Visual Adverts[/url]
Wacktopia
Fleet-Up.com
Keep It Simple Software Group
#8 - 2013-05-22 09:52:31 UTC
Alex Grison wrote:
ok this is serious. tonight its 2:23 in the morning and I am tired. I start seeing things as usual. There is a slightly darker spot on the wall. and every day at about 1 in the morning it starts to look like spider. And I hate spider.

I have discovered that there is a very real and cloaked spider on my wall. I suspect that spider is using an acrachnis modified cloaking device.

what do i do.


Wait until it de-cloaks and then splat it.

Same as if you want to kill an AFK cloaker in the game EVE-Online.

Simples.

Kitchen sink? Seriousy, get your ship together -  Fleet-Up.com
Ravnik
Infinate Horizon
#9 - 2013-05-22 10:03:07 UTC
Dont you hate spiders who AFK cloak.

Wait...is this a stealth "nerf AFK cloakers" thread?? Shocked

The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly..........
mr ed thehouseofed
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
#10 - 2013-05-22 10:09:38 UTC
you could cyno in a titan flyswatter and pod him ShockedSmile

i want a eve pinball machine...  confirming  CCP Cognac is best cognac
J3ssica Alba
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2013-05-22 10:10:32 UTC
Nerath Naaris wrote:
Move within 2,5 cm of it and it should decloak.


and simultaneously facehug you and implant you with cocoons 
This is my signature. There are many others like it, but this one is mine.  Without me, my signature is useless. Without my signature, I am useless
Rhivre
TarNec
Invisible Exchequer
#12 - 2013-05-22 10:10:46 UTC
Ravnik wrote:
Dont you hate spiders who AFK cloak.

Wait...is this a stealth "nerf AFK cloakers" thread?? Shocked



I initially thought so, but Alex has been getting in such a tizzy at the same time each night, that I think it is more related to....erm... out of game substances.

Fluffy Bunny Pic!

KuroVolt
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2013-05-22 10:20:01 UTC
Cloaking spiders arent the problem, they cant do anything anyway.



Its those microwarpdriving ones you wanna be watching out for.

BoBwins Law: As a discussion/war between two large nullsec entities grows longer, the probability of one comparing the other to BoB aproaches near certainty.
Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
Goonswarm Federation
#14 - 2013-05-22 10:31:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Eugene Kerner
Finally content...would paranoia again 8/10
You could always test if it tastes good...

TunDraGon is recruiting! "Also, your boobs [:o] "   CCP Eterne, 2012 "When in doubt...make a diȼk joke." Robin Williams - RIP
GreenSeed
#15 - 2013-05-22 10:45:32 UTC
stay aligned to the door, and if you spot a cyno run like hell.

you do not, i repeat, you DO NOT want to be anywhere near that room when a gang of drunken spiders lands on system looking for easy kills.
Rhivre
TarNec
Invisible Exchequer
#16 - 2013-05-22 10:54:52 UTC  |  Edited by: Rhivre
Having consulted various textbooks and peer reviewed journals, it is my solemn duty to warn you that it is not the Arachnis cloaking device you should be concerned about, it is the extreme OP range on the stasis webifier.

Not only does it have a range of 500mm, thereby making it employable for off grid webbing, it also has the following terrifying modifications:

Passive targeting ability, no yellow box to alert you!
Extended area of effect, so capable of affecting multiple targets at once.
Finally, and most terrifying of all, this is anchorable, meaning that, you could be there, happily approaching the door, ready to jump to safety, when suddenly, at 78cm from the door, you run into the web.

2nd finally: This is deployed using stealth technology, so you will not realise it is there until it is too late.


Consultation with learned colleagues of mine has led to the following recommendations:

Retreat to the duvet and remain under cover
We will send RnK in to cleanse the area shortly
DO NOT undock from the duvet until the all clear is given

Fluffy Bunny Pic!

Liafcipe9000
Critically Preposterous
#17 - 2013-05-22 11:11:47 UTC
Ernok en Brauhn wrote:
Enjoy those drugs man

he already is

Nerath Naaris wrote:
Move within 2,5 cm of it and it should decloak.

2cm is the range nowadays.
Arduemont
Rotten Legion
#18 - 2013-05-22 12:24:55 UTC
Alex Grison wrote:
ok this is serious. tonight its 2:23 in the morning and I am tired. I start seeing things as usual. There is a slightly darker spot on the wall. and every day at about 1 in the morning it starts to look like spider. And I hate spider.

I have discovered that there is a very real and cloaked spider on my wall. I suspect that spider is using an acrachnis modified cloaking device.

what do i do.


Let me guess... this cloaked spider is stopping you from grinding ISK safely?

"In the age of information, ignorance is a choice." www.stateofwar.co.nf
Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
Senpai's Afterschool Anime and Gaming Club
#19 - 2013-05-22 12:37:02 UTC
Is it a Black Widow? I hear those move faster when you can't see them. Target it, but don't let it web you. I recommend you use a secure container and eject it somewhere in the Great Wildlands.

I wrote some true EVE stories! And no, they're not of the generic "my 0.0 alliance had lots of 0.0 fleets and took a lot of 0.0 space" sort. Check them out here:

https://truestories.eveonline.com/users/2074-destiny-corrupted
Jenn aSide
Soul Machines
The Initiative.
#20 - 2013-05-22 12:42:47 UTC
Alex Grison wrote:
ok this is serious. tonight its 2:23 in the morning and I am tired. I start seeing things as usual. There is a slightly darker spot on the wall. and every day at about 1 in the morning it starts to look like spider. And I hate spider.

I have discovered that there is a very real and cloaked spider on my wall. I suspect that spider is using an acrachnis modified cloaking device.

what do i do.


Go the the features and ideas forum and make a thread about how Cloaking spiders need to be nerfed, of course.
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