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Quafe Corporation denies using drones in Amarr space

Author
Muck Raker
Gutter Press
#1 - 2013-05-18 13:18:12 UTC
In Amarr space, unlike the socially progressive Federation, there are strict laws and customs regarding clothing style, which has been problematic for Gallente people in the past. Traditional Amarr fashion has been very staid and conservative, unlike the bright colours and dramatic styling of such Gallentean fashion houses as the Coriault Couture Collective.

Austere!

The Quafe Corporation, having a substantial presence in the Amarr Empire, as in other places, in order to bring Quafe, with its cool, refreshing taste to all people of New Eden, has run into problems in the past with the Amarr religious authorities, regarding the attire worn by the public relations staff of Quafe Corporation, often referred to as Quafe Girls. The religious police consider the Quafe Girls outfits to be "too revealing", a statement many in the Federation would find hard to comprehend, as Quafe Girls have long been known for dressing in a family friendly way, in order to promote the cool, refreshing taste of Quafe to a wider audience.

Stylish!

In recent years, a popular rumour that has surfaced, is that in the Amarr Empire, the Quafe Girls are actually humaniform drones, which, by virtue of being drones, are allowed to wear more revealing clothing, since by definition, they are not "exposing flesh".

Loophole!

This rumour has recently been denied by Quafe Corporation representative Aladotte Aubinnie, a move which has been met with shock by many Amarr citizens.

"They're real people?" said one middle aged Amarr lady, "But they're wearing next to nothing!"
"Down with this sort of thing" said a leafleteering blonde Amarr woman.
"Are you sure? They seem to have such artificial smiles" said one young Amarr man.
"When I thought they were Robots, I said 'Let my People Go', but if they are Human People, I do not Know what to Think", said another Amarr woman.

Controversial!

Theology Council agents are said to be considering their course of action, possibly Quafe Corporation will be ordered to dress their employees in more staid fashions. It is unknown what effect this will have on Quafe sales at this time.

Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!

Magnus Ituin
Golden Ring Salvage and Industry.
#2 - 2013-05-18 13:23:11 UTC
... What?

Quality news as normal then.
Felsusguy
Panopticon Engineering
#3 - 2013-05-18 13:30:25 UTC  |  Edited by: Felsusguy
As a spokesperson for Quafe, I wish to announce to everyone reading this story that is a complete falsehood. A fabrication. A lie. Quafe will not tolerate this sort of libel from anyone, not even capsuleers. We do not dress any of our employees in a degrading manner as Miss Raker has implied, not our male nor our female employees. Nor do we have "humanoid drones" acting as our employees. We at Quafe prefer quality over quantity, and human employees are by far of the highest quality. These unverified rumors are damaging to our reputation.

Further libel will result in the Quafe Corporation taking legal action.

The Caldari put business before pleasure. The Gallente put business in pleasure.

Evi Polevhia
Phoenix Naval Operations
Phoenix Naval Systems
#4 - 2013-05-18 14:17:35 UTC
Felsusguy wrote:
As a spokesperson for Quafe, I wish to announce to everyone reading this story that is a complete falsehood. A fabrication. A lie. Quafe will not tolerate this sort of libel from anyone, not even capsuleers. We do not dress any of our employees in a degrading manner as Miss Raker has implied, not our male nor our female employees. Nor do we have "humanoid drones" acting as our employees. We at Quafe prefer quality over quantity, and human employees are by far of the highest quality. These unverified rumors are damaging to our reputation.

Further libel will result in the Quafe Corporation taking legal action.


Right. And I'm a spokeswoman for the Empress.
Makkal Hanaya
Revenent Defence Corperation
#5 - 2013-05-18 16:08:10 UTC  |  Edited by: Makkal Hanaya
It saddens mean to learn that Quaff discriminates against humanoid drones. When drones aren't attempting to slaughter all organic life, I am sure they are wonderful people... things... Well, whatever, I'm sure they're wonderful.

Render unto Khanid the things which are Khanid's; and unto God the things that are God's.

Alexander Barbarov
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#6 - 2013-05-19 20:47:53 UTC
What a load of old twaddle.
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#7 - 2013-05-20 14:47:36 UTC
Alexander Barbarov wrote:
What a load of old twaddle.


No, that would be your empress. An apparently psychotic old twaddle.

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.

Anslo
Scope Works
#8 - 2013-05-20 17:00:43 UTC
Gods dammit it I love you Muck Raker. Never stop making my day.

[center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]

Alexander Barbarov
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#9 - 2013-06-03 19:16:52 UTC
Anabella Rella wrote:
Alexander Barbarov wrote:
What a load of old twaddle.


No, that would be your empress. An apparently psychotic old twaddle.


I think you need to look up the definition of twaddle. I knew the education system in the Republic was lacking in comparison to others but I thought as a graduate Capsuleer you'd of received one of a higher standard. But, apparently not.
Denak Calamari
Incorruptibles
#10 - 2013-06-03 19:26:43 UTC
Can you point me towards the direction of these 'Quafe Girls' so I can personally *ahem* verify these claims? I'm sure they can be persuaded to tell the truth once I meet up with all of them in private.
Katran Luftschreck
Royal Ammatar Engineering Corps
#11 - 2013-06-03 20:31:15 UTC
All jokes aside, I have always advocated lifting anti-AI research laws & moving drone evolution forward. As I see it, humaniform robots hold the potential to allow us to ultimately do away with slave labor almost entirely (criminals would still get the shaft) without wrecking the fabric of our society. Everyone is happy.

http://youtu.be/t0q2F8NsYQ0

Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#12 - 2013-06-04 07:03:26 UTC
Jeez, lighten up imperial. I was making a joke using a play on the sound of words. Think about it and you'll figure it out. Maybe.

You should look up the word humor. Apparently that's not something inherent in the Empire, especially judging from all the sour/angry looking Amarrian pilots I see.

Also, just so you know sweet cheeks, I was raised and educated on Gallente Prime near Caille. If you're going to attempt an insult at least target the correct thing to ridicule. Thanks! Love ya, mean it! P

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.

Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#13 - 2013-06-06 17:42:42 UTC
Honestly the idea that Quafe would employ drones is insulting to actual Quafe Girls, it's an incredibly competitive field and there are no shortage of applicants.

Do you really think drones would make the cut? There must be like millions of girls at home right now crying because they failed to make the shortlist yet again.

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!

Makkal Hanaya
Revenent Defence Corperation
#14 - 2013-06-06 18:43:34 UTC
Those breasts are not real. This woman is a drone.

Render unto Khanid the things which are Khanid's; and unto God the things that are God's.

Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#15 - 2013-06-06 18:53:39 UTC
Tut! They are real. Or as real as a clone modeled after my original body can be, anyway. Just talk to my daddy, he knows, he would be very cross with me if I did something like what you're suggesting to my body.

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!

Andreus Ixiris
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2013-06-06 19:02:45 UTC
I'm sorry, I had something to say here but I seem to have lost my train of watermelons.

Thought.

Lost my basketballs of thought.

Train! Train!

Lost my train of thought.

Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.

Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.

Andreus Ixiris > ...

Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.

Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#17 - 2013-06-07 08:43:49 UTC
Andreus Ixiris wrote:

Lost my train of thought.


You poor thing, you seem frazzled. I think I have something for you; Quafe also produce performance-enhancing drinks! Quafe wants you to be at the top of your game, so why settle for a beverage that isn't at the top of it's own?

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!

Andreus Ixiris
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#18 - 2013-06-08 09:38:18 UTC  |  Edited by: Andreus Ixiris
I'm sorry, but as a general rule I don't drink Quafe soccer balls products. I've done a lot of work for the Quafe corporation, and, well...

Let's just say the cardinal rule of culinary enjoyment is to never let yourself find out how something you enjoy consuming is produced.

Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.

Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.

Andreus Ixiris > ...

Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.

Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#19 - 2013-06-10 08:02:37 UTC
Andreus Ixiris wrote:

Let's just say the cardinal rule of culinary enjoyment is to never let yourself find out how something you enjoy consuming is produced.


You're not that bright if you've done so much work with Quafe but still managed to buy into the Starsi propaganda. ♥

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!

Kithrus
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#20 - 2013-06-10 14:36:26 UTC
I can safely say the issue isn't with drones as much as breasts on drones. Many very bad implications.

Darkness is more then absence of light, it is ignorance and corruption. I will be the Bulwark from such things that you may live in the light. Pray so my arms do not grow weary and my footing remain sure.

If you are brave, join me in the dark.

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