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Crime & Punishment

 
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COWARDLY PILOT XENURIA RUNS FROM HONOURABLE COMBAT
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Otocinclus
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#1 - 2013-05-08 03:56:47 UTC
At approximately 03:00 hours today, I received a disturbing report from my war advisors; a puny and unknown pilot going by the name of Xenuria had presented a challenge to EVERY MAN in the channel he was typing in; honourable combat with his Incursus class war vessel, known to military experts as a fearsome frigate of Gallente origin. After an arduous journey following the losses of several of my treasured warships in HONOURABLE combat, I arrived at the location of his vessel. I initiated combat, only to be greeted by him DISHONOURABLY WARPING AWAY. Tactical reports by my committee of advisors indicated that this "Xenuria" did indeed fit several Warp Core Stabilization modules to aid in his cowardly flight. Let it be known from here that Xenuria is a coward, and is to be treated as such and despised by the men and women of New Eden.


I have provided video evidence to back up my claims. Interpret it as you wish.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#2 - 2013-05-08 04:14:12 UTC
He is Xenuria and he's better than you Straight

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Tah'ris Khlador
Space Ghosts.
Break-A-Wish Foundation
#3 - 2013-05-08 04:36:11 UTC
I admit, I make similar noises when I warp my cloaky/stabbed heron out of FW plexes.

Member of the Pink Pony Killboard Padding Alliance
Don Purple
Snuggle Society
Test Alliance Please Ignore
#4 - 2013-05-08 04:49:17 UTC
Is this some attempt at RP? is he serous..

I am just here to snuggle and do spy stuff.
Iam Widdershins
Project Nemesis
#5 - 2013-05-08 05:26:16 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
He is Xenuria and he's better than you Straight

Do you mean to imply that you legitimately think Xenuria is better than someone in the world?

Lobbying for your right to delete your signature
Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
Goonswarm Federation
#6 - 2013-05-08 05:49:03 UTC
Is he trying to ridicule Xenuria?
Son, it will not work...no matter how hard you try.

TunDraGon is recruiting! "Also, your boobs [:o] "   CCP Eterne, 2012 "When in doubt...make a diȼk joke." Robin Williams - RIP
Esha Ditrix
#7 - 2013-05-08 06:06:08 UTC
its to early for RP and Whine...

Its not an exploit, if the game lets you do it...
BadAssMcKill
Aliastra
#8 - 2013-05-08 08:51:07 UTC  |  Edited by: BadAssMcKill
And here I thought Xenuria was an honorable person
Ramona McCandless
Silent Vale
LinkNet
#9 - 2013-05-08 13:19:16 UTC
Otocinclus wrote:
Let it be known from here that Xenuria is a coward, and is to be treated as such and despised by the men and women of New Eden.




Fear not citizen, our investigators have been dispatched to look into this very serious breach of accepted Combat Practice.



"Yea, some dude came in and was normal for first couple months, so I gave him director." - Sean Dunaway

"A singular character could be hired to penetrate another corps space... using gorilla like tactics..." - Chane Morgann
Ripblade Falconpunch
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#10 - 2013-05-08 13:26:40 UTC
Eugene Kerner wrote:
Is he trying to ridicule Xenuria?
Son, it will not work...no matter how hard you try.


Xenuria does far too good a job ridiculing himself for anyone else to be able to top it.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#11 - 2013-05-08 15:32:57 UTC
Iam Widdershins wrote:
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
He is Xenuria and he's better than you Straight

Do you mean to imply that you legitimately think Xenuria is better than someone in the world?


Are you saying he isn't? Straight

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Paaaulo
Perkone
Caldari State
#12 - 2013-05-08 15:55:10 UTC
And here I was thinking Xenuria was a man of honour.

My perceptions are shattered.
Marianne Pollard
Doomheim
#13 - 2013-05-08 17:17:54 UTC
At approximately 15:11 hours today, I was subjected to an exceptionally tiresome badpost; a run-of-the-mill and relatively unknown pilot going by the name of Otocinclus, with a penchant for semicolons and fear of paragraphs, had posted a tl;dr in C&P.

Let it be known from here that Otocinclus is a bad, and is to be treated as such and avoided, lest he molest you with further bad.

Mocking the afflicted since 2013.
Dub Step
Death To Everyone But Us
#14 - 2013-05-08 18:30:25 UTC
Looks like he got the upper hand on you to be honest. I'm just impressed that he is doing any form of PVP whatsoever and applaud him for this.
Ramona McCandless
Silent Vale
LinkNet
#15 - 2013-05-08 18:43:25 UTC  |  Edited by: Ramona McCandless
Standards and Practices have now concluded our investigation into this incident, and have found that you, Otocinclus, and not Xenuria is at fault.

I present your own words as testimony;

Otocinclus wrote:
At approximately 03:00 hours today, I received a disturbing report from my war advisors; a puny and unknown pilot going by the name of Xenuria had presented a challenge to EVERY MAN in the channel he was typing in; honourable combat with his Incursus class war vessel, known to military experts as a fearsome frigate of Gallente origin.


As you clearly did not attempt to enter combat with an Incursus, the matter was clearly not an honourable one.

Xenuria also made the challenge to "EVERY MAN". As you were not prepared to meet Xenuria in an Incursus, you cannot be judged to be one of the men in the system.

Therefore, you not only lost the duel by default, you now owe S&P the sum of 512 million Isk plus expenses, plus another 25 million Isk payable to each reader of this thread as compensation for wasting our valuable time.

Payment should be made at your soonest convenience.

Thank you for your time.

"Yea, some dude came in and was normal for first couple months, so I gave him director." - Sean Dunaway

"A singular character could be hired to penetrate another corps space... using gorilla like tactics..." - Chane Morgann
Dub Step
Death To Everyone But Us
#16 - 2013-05-08 18:47:27 UTC
That's a very inaccurate analysis. I suggest you have a briefing with Zedrik on how to go about preaching standards accurately.
Ramona McCandless
Silent Vale
LinkNet
#17 - 2013-05-08 18:58:23 UTC
Dub Step wrote:
That's a very inaccurate analysis. I suggest you have a briefing with Zedrik on how to go about preaching standards accurately.


Im sorry to hear that you feel that way, but I'm afraid that has no bearing on this investigation.

"Yea, some dude came in and was normal for first couple months, so I gave him director." - Sean Dunaway

"A singular character could be hired to penetrate another corps space... using gorilla like tactics..." - Chane Morgann
Private Pineapple
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#18 - 2013-05-08 19:05:49 UTC
Ramona McCandless wrote:
Standards and Practices have now concluded our investigation into this incident, and have found that you, Otocinclus, and not Xenuria is at fault.

I present your own words as testimony;

Otocinclus wrote:
At approximately 03:00 hours today, I received a disturbing report from my war advisors; a puny and unknown pilot going by the name of Xenuria had presented a challenge to EVERY MAN in the channel he was typing in; honourable combat with his Incursus class war vessel, known to military experts as a fearsome frigate of Gallente origin.


As you clearly did not attempt to enter combat with an Incursus, the matter was clearly not an honourable one.

Xenuria also made the challenge to "EVERY MAN". As you were not prepared to meet Xenuria in an Incursus, you cannot be judged to be one of the men in the system.

Therefore, you not only lost the duel by default, you now owe S&P the sum of 512 million Isk plus expenses, plus another 25 million Isk payable to each reader of this thread as conpensation for wasting our valuable time.

Payment should be made at your soonest convenience.

Thank you for your time.


I am acknowledging myself as a reader of this thread and should receive a 25 million ISK payout for my troubles.

.
Jim Roebuck
State War Academy
Caldari State
#19 - 2013-05-09 13:45:48 UTC
I read the thread title in the voice of the Heavy.

When Bon Scott died and he appeared before St. Peter at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter looked at his record and told him he couldn't get in. Just then, God screams at Peter, "Let him in, Karen Carpenter is driving me nuts. I want to hear some music with balls. We'll haggle over the paperwork later." At least I hope that's what happened.
War Kitten
Panda McLegion
#20 - 2013-05-09 14:53:09 UTC
Dub Step wrote:
That's a very inaccurate analysis. I suggest you have a briefing with Zedrik on how to go about preaching standards accurately.


I dunno, I feel owed 25M for having read this fluff. It seemed pretty accurate.

I also demand a further 25M for being subjected to that video and the girlish cackling.

I don't judge people by their race, religion, color, size, age, gender, or ethnicity. I judge them by their grammar, spelling, syntax, punctuation, clarity of expression, and logical consistency.
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