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Intergalactic Summit

 
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FRED FRED FREDERATION: Roden and Shakor singing? CHECK! Wise words? CHECK! Tinfoil hats? CHECK!
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Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2013-05-03 03:35:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Fredfredbug4
The following program does not represent the opinions of the Eve Defense Force, the Tribal Band capsuleer alliance, and The Scope: Galactic News Network.

Tonight’s intro of FredFred Frederation started off with a very dark tone. As Fred wraps up the day and prepares to take a rest, armed men storm into his captain’s quarters, strike him with the butt of a rifle, put a black bag over his head and carry him away in an unmarked black Talos class attack battlecruiser which quickly undocks from the station. The grim nature of the intro quickly shifts as the black bag over Fred’s head is removed and he finds himself seated in a theatre, handcuffed to his seat much like the other audience members around him. President Roden (actor) walks onto stage with a lone spotlight overhead. Shakor emerges from behind a curtain and winks at the crowd confidently. Then, an electro-organ is rolled out and Mentas Blaque sits down and begins to play. A the melody from a showtune from Gallente antiquity begins...

Shakor: Anything you can do I can do better! I can do anything better than you!
Roden: No you can’t!
Shakor: Yes I can!
Roden: No you can’t!
Shakor: Yes I can, yes I can!

Roden: Anything crime you can judge I can judge better! I can judge any crime better than you!
Shakor: No you can’t!
Roden: Yes I can!
Shakor: No you can’t!
Roden: Yes I can, yes I can!

The horrendous song continues as the lengthy intro fades into the actual episode of Fred Fred Frederation

Well good evening New Eden! What a fine parody of “Annie get your blaster” that was, I’m quite saddened I cannot show the whole thing on the show! A recent conference at the CONCORD Assembly declared that any instance of the full tune played in public will be seen as an attempt to use a weapon of mass destruction. Luckily enough the entire thing is available for purchase on Galnet for just 1.29 ISK!

99.99999% of all proceeds go directly to the various charities working to rebuild Caldari Prime. The other 0.00001% go to the Save the Wompdiddlywaasadruud Foundation. Never heard of the wompdidddlywaasadruud? Crap, looks like they are going extinct faster than I thought, that makes these donations even MORE important.

And if ANY of you freeloaders try to pirate that I will PERSONALLY hire a team of lawyers to sue your pants off! Just your pants, you can keep everything else!

Before we move on with our main topic for tonight I would like to briefly speak about Jolee and Ting Havnyer being aquited of their charges of treason. Yes yes, justice has prevailed, stupid black eagles yadah yadah herpy derp. We get that and that’s wonderful. What we do on Fred Fred Frederation is try to connect the other information. There is a very simple question that has to be asked here.

Why, of all people would Jolee and Ting be falsely accused and put on trial by the Black Eagles? What possible gains could be made from doing this? It’s very clear that this was a false accusation and not a mere lack of evidence, if the latter was the case then the Shiigeru would probably still be terrorizing the Gallente citizens on Luminaire. The two of them clearly have done nothing wrong. So why go after them against all logic and reasoning?

My personal thoughts is that the Black Eagles are trying to see just how far they can go and still get away with it. If they could somehow make a pop-sensation and high ranking intelligence officer guilty of treason, then all but the President would be subject to scrutiny. We all make claims that the Caldari State is a totalitarian society controlled by big brother, even I do, yet as of late we seem to be describing ourselves much more than the State. Had the supreme court found the Havnyers guilty, it would set a precedent that would transform the Federation as we know it to a completely different society.

I began my journalism career discrediting the Black Eagles, but there is only so much I and other speculative minds can do. The Gallente people need to realize that there is a threat to our freedoms much greater than both the Provist forces of Heth and an Amarr reclaiming combined. It has infiltrated our society and has established itself as an omnipresent, omniscient entity ready and willing to violate you as it sees fit.

I’m fine with the idea of a special branch of the government dedicated to finding and punishing foul traitors, yet the Black Eagles in it’s current form is not the way it should be done.

Oh and exactly how many traitors have the Black Eagles thwarted? Probably none unless you count an angry hobo of Khanid descent that was arrested last week in Dodixie for petting a furrier “a little too rough.”

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2013-05-03 03:35:41 UTC
Now, we proceed to the main topic of tonight. Who the floppy biscuits is right to handle the trial of the terrorist that brutally massacred Gallente and Minmatar alike? Now the original intent of this episode was to discuss and debate that directly, however in the Galnet thread directly about the case I think we’ve reached as far as we can possibly go debating that topic until we receive further information. Speaking of which...

WHY THE HELL ARE WE NOT GETTING FURTHER INFORMATION? Can’t we at least have the name of the asswipe that was responsible or hell a drawing! Considering the horrendous lack of information, I would be satisfied with a crude, elementary school level sketch of what the guy looks like! I’ve disagreed heavily and aggressively with many a Republic citizens on a lot of things regarding this issue, but one thing we all seem to agree on is that the fact no information is being released is completely unforgivable. As for the disagreements I’ve had with the Republic, well we all know how quickly that conversation degenerated. I’m not going to mention anyone specifically about that discussion, except one person, who has had me thinking rather deeply about this affair.

Scherezad wrote:


Let not this sorrowful incident come between friends. This was likely the attackers' intent, and he should not be handed this victory. Moreso, this is not at all what the Ray of Matar would wish.



Ms. Scherezad, thank you for your wise words. They’re pretty self explanatory my friends, this arguing and these increasing hostilities are exactly what the terrorist wanted. We seem to have forgotten what we were celebrating before the tragedy occured. Gallente-Minmatar friendship and cooperation over many decades . This attack wasn’t intended to simply kill as many people as possible, if it was the bloodshed would have lasted longer, claimed more lives, and the shooter wouldn’t be alive right now. He butchered enough to make this a travesty, with full knowledge of how the differing cultures, laws, and customs of the Federation and Republic would clash regarding what he did.

And by looking at that Galnet thread, he succeeded, and I am personally ashamed for not seeing how I contributed, along with many others to helping tear our people, so different yet so close, apart.

Of course, I can play Captain Hindsight all day about this, now we have to focus on the consequences of our actions. I’m not sure if the ties are very clear, but I feel that the House Sarum declaration of a new Reclaiming is tied to this.

I may be getting into conspiracy corner territory here, so feel free to grow out your neckbeards, quit your jobs, get some boosters and put on your tinfoil hats.

The main thing stopping any serious attempts by the Amarr houses and the empire in general from actually launching a reclaiming was the alliance between the Gallente and the Minmatar. There are points where our coalition would have repelled the attack were they too attack, and there have been points where we would be getting marched onto slave ships if the golden fleet decided to cross the borders at that moment. However, everyone knows that no matter who wins, it would be a pyrrhic victory that would be more trouble than it was worth.

The ideal moment to strike would be when Gallente and Minmatar relations are at their lowest, or even shattered altogether. Then the Amarr could capture Minmatar space and put the Federation the defensive, with State support first.

And maybe...the terrorist attack was ordered by...wait for it...

THE AMARR

Music plays: DUN DUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUN

Told you to have those tinfoil hats ready! And no, before you Amarr in the audience throw a hissy fit, I’m just making light humor.

OR AM I?

DUN DUUUN DUUUUUUUUUN

Naaaaw I’m just messing with you guys. You know I love you adorable alter boys!

I’m Fredfredbug4 and thank you my friends for watching this episode of Fred Fred Frederation. Stay tuned to The Scope for a special investigation on tritanium injections. They may make you look younger, but is the risk of spontaneous combustion upon entering atmosphere worth it? Our sources say YES.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Scherezad
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#3 - 2013-05-03 04:26:20 UTC
Oh my.

This has been broadcast all across the Cluster?

Oh dear.
BloodBird
The Crucible.
#4 - 2013-05-03 12:15:37 UTC
Scherezad wrote:
Oh my.

This has been broadcast all across the Cluster?

Oh dear.


Congrats, you are slightly more famous than you were yesterday.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2013-05-03 13:13:46 UTC
Scherezad wrote:
Oh my.

This has been broadcast all across the Cluster?

Oh dear.


Eeyup, well everywhere were our signals can reach or aren't blocked.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Scherezad
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#6 - 2013-05-03 15:12:05 UTC
Oh dear. Thank you very much, sir. It was a very nice episode.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2013-05-03 18:45:45 UTC
Scherezad wrote:
Oh dear. Thank you very much, sir. It was a very nice episode.


Thank you for your viewership and helping me properly understand the situation.

You're a wise woman and deserve to be recognized for it.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!