Intergalactic Summit

Oh, Diana, you are such a kidder! I have no experience introducing biological agents to specific ethnic groups. None... unless you count teenage Sebiestor boys; but who does, I mean, really?

For these mushrooms, rock and pressure serve as bread and water; radioactives, their cupcakes. Organics provide no succor; and consequently, face little threat. Moreover, one notable characteristic of radiodurans such as my Titanicus Tekojarvii is extreme resistance to mutation. They maintain numerous copies of their genetic signatures, and correct errors with tireless efficiency. Quite Caldari, now that I think of it! Anyway, my technicolor mushrooms will not suddenly become ambulatory predators a hundred meters tall consuming screaming human populations by the tens of thousands.

And Schere, darling, your mastery of tone is amazing.

You have it exactly right: these are not tasty truffles. Preventing consumption - accidental or otherwise - was a primary design requirement. They are hard as rock and not even as tasty.

Yes, for the first few years, handle with care. The colony's nutrient pathways are complex capillaries filled with a viscous goo not unlike weak battery acid. Tiny T. Tekojarvii wiggle through this goo until secreted in the presence of silicates, metals and other such things. The T. Tekojarvii bind to toxic metals; fungal filaments bind to T. Tekojarvii and reabsorb them. Goo capillaries transport the radiodurans deep into the colony. And by deep, I do mean deep - even for me. The magnificent shattered world lithotrophs go down for miles: think of a titanic jellyfish floating just beneath the surface.

Given the abundance of oxidized tritanium and heavy metal dust currently scattered to and fro, the fungus and its bacterial partners shall remain in excited states for quite some time. Consequently, the nutrient pathways are stuffed with cupcakes and best avoided.

The extraordinary energy provided by these cupcakes will power rapid emergence of towering toadstools described earlier (minus the ambulatory predator part, of course). These will produce spores that consist of leafy sails attached to small pellets. Dropped from a hundred meters, they will travel far and wide on Caldari Prime's mighty breezes. The pellets do not contain cupcakes or other toxins. They are in fact intended to be carried within the digestive systems of migratory animal populations without causing harm. Now, I'm sure this or that passing Sebiestor teenager might put several in his mouth...

Sweetie, drop it. Drop it. Drop. It. Who is a good boy? Drop it. Good boy! Here's a treat.

...but they'll just provide a little roughage and pass right through!

As the oxidized tritanium and heavy metal dust grows more scarce, the fungal colony will become more passive. It will then derive the majority of its energy from seismic pressures acting upon its toxic reservoirs. Growth will slow, nutrient pathways will cool, and indigenous lifeforms will enjoy an ecosystem resembling an enormous forest of petrified mushrooms that exhibit interesting electromagnetic and thermal properties.

"In A Thousand Years," Caldari Prime's will be the most unique biosphere in known space: a fitting legacy for Amsten, Lord On The Shores of Great Frozen Tekojarvi.

Lij-Taisaan mydiku hakiit hovatiiru yn waruhataashe!

Examine "Gallentean" DNA and you'll find that it's identical to Caldari DNA. Examine your grammar, and you'll find that you have the reading level of a newborn. Really, Kim, you're infected with a hatred that makes you stupider by the day.