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Can Space Jesus forgive me of my Eve sins?
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Tara Read
Blackwater USA Inc.
Pandemic Horde
#1 - 2013-03-04 13:46:20 UTC  |  Edited by: Tara Read
I dunno if I can accept Space Jesus into my heart guys. As I locked up this Amarr pilot in his pod he said all I had to do was accept Space Jesus and all my sins would be forgiven. I really did some soul searching! I longed for the protection of CONCORD and the sweet sound of my mining lasers cutting into that sweet Veldspar.....

The constant chatter of great deals in Jita by honest trade folk trying to help out and do their share in the universe by doubling isk, giving good deals on modules and who can forget? Lotto's. My mind ran to me being a servant of Space Jesus! Spreading the word to G00NS and TEST and all the corners of space warming their hearts and filling them with love! So I started humming "Space Jesus Loves Me" and then raised my voice up to the heavens!!

I started getting a twang in my voice and suddenly I lifted my hands up! I could feel the power of Space Jesus's Nanite Repair blood washing over me!! I jumped up and down as the Amarr pilot cheered me on! We said Praise Space Jesus! Praise HIM! Praise HIM! I was so overjoyed I was slapping my knee as he clapped his hands and tears rolled down my cheeks... Oh lord I could see my sec status going up!

I could see Space Jesus's loving guiding hands! I was so overcome with emotion I accidentally hit the fire button on my ships console and sadly fried my Good Samaritan's pod.... Boy did I feel silly! SO how bout it guys? Are you ready to accept Space Jesus into YOUR life?

Go on! I am NOW starting the new First Galactic SJ Church Of Nandeza! Service's will be held every other weekday. But it's not easy! We need donations! Please send all your isk so we can spread peace and love to starving Minny children who don't know the gospel!

Won't you help? Little Guldrak here hasn't eaten in 300 days! And he lives in a Kestrel... So please... think of poor poor Guldrak. Won't you give Guldrak a home today?

(Btw Space Jesus is not to be confused with Jesus Christ, Raptor Jesus, Bionic Jesus, or Zombie Jesus. Space Jesus is akin to Santa Claus but with a space helmet on and feeds on PLEX and Summer Blink credits.)
KuroVolt
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2013-03-04 13:48:03 UTC
Space Jesus is different to normal Jesus in that he does not forgive you and he definitely didnt die for your sins, he makes sure you die for them.

Hence why CVA has a perma KOS list. :)

BoBwins Law: As a discussion/war between two large nullsec entities grows longer, the probability of one comparing the other to BoB aproaches near certainty.
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#3 - 2013-03-04 13:51:25 UTC
I will bless you my child.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk
Incindir Mauser
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#4 - 2013-03-04 13:54:20 UTC
Tara Read wrote:
I dunno if I can accept Space Jesus into my heart guys. As I locked up this Amarr pilot in his pod he said all I had to do was accept Space Jesus and all my sins would be forgiven. I really did some soul searching! I longed for the protection of CONCORD and the sweet sound of my mining lasers cutting into that sweet Veldspar.....

The constant chatter of great deals in Jita by honest trade folk trying to help out and do their share in the universe by doubling isk, giving good deals on modules and who can forget? Lotto's. My mind ran to me being a servant of Space Jesus! Spreading the word to G00NS and TEST and all the corners of space warming their hearts and filling them with love! So I started humming "Space Jesus Loves Me" and then raised my voice up to the heavens!!

I started getting a twang in my voice and suddenly I lifted my hands up! I could feel the power of Space Jesus's Nanite Repair blood washing over me!! I jumped up and down as the Amarr pilot cheered me on! We said Praise Space Jesus! Praise HIM! Praise HIM! I was so overjoyed I was slapping my knee as he clapped his hands and tears rolled down my cheeks... Oh lord I could see my sec status going up!

I could see Space Jesus's loving guiding hands! I was so overcome with emotion I accidentally hit the fire button on my ships console and sadly fried my Good Samaritan 's pod.... Boy did I feel silly! SO how bout it guys? Are you ready to accept Space Jesus into YOUR life?

Go on! I am NOW starting the new First Galactic SJ Church Of Nandeza! Service's will be held every other weekday. But it's not easy! We need donations! Please send all your isk so we can spread peace and love to starving Minny children who don't know the gospel!

Won't you help? Little Guldrak here hasn't eaten in 300 days! And he lives in a Kestrel... So please... think of poor poor Guldrak. Won't you give Guldrak a home today?

(Btw Space Jesus is not to be confused with Jesus Christ, Raptor Jesus, Bionic Jesus, or Zombie Jesus. Space Jesus is akin to Santa Claus but with a space helmet on and feeds on PLEX and Summer Blink credits.)






First things first.

His name is Bob.

And he's the God of Wormholes.

Bob does not need or want donations.
De'Veldrin
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#5 - 2013-03-04 13:58:01 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
I will bless you my child.


You know, when you say that it brings a certain amount of trepidation to my soul.

De'Veldrin's Corollary (to Malcanis' Law): Any idea that seeks to limit the ability of a large nullsec bloc to do something in the name of allowing more small groups into sov null will inevitably make it that much harder for small groups to enter sov null.
Tara Read
Blackwater USA Inc.
Pandemic Horde
#6 - 2013-03-04 14:01:17 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
I will bless you my child.


Do I have to get on my knees to be forgiven of my sins? Cause someone else tried that once and they got 20 to life for it. I think Chris Hansen interviewed him! Big smile
Felicity Love
Doomheim
#7 - 2013-03-04 14:01:46 UTC  |  Edited by: Felicity Love
Is a frog's ass watertight ? I'd call that a miracle, and Space Jesus is a miracle worker. Really, really. BEEEEEEEEELIEEEVE and let those demons out !

Just saying. Roll

"EVE is dying." -- The Four Forum Trolls of the Apocalypse.   ( Pick four, any four. They all smell.  )
Tara Read
Blackwater USA Inc.
Pandemic Horde
#8 - 2013-03-04 14:03:46 UTC
Felicity Love wrote:
Is a frog's ass watertight ?

Just saying. Roll


I guess if your C$#@ is the shape of an iceberg then.... no?
Frying Doom
#9 - 2013-03-04 14:12:03 UTC
Sorry your sin cannot be forgiven.

And in true space style you should hurl your self out the nearest air lock.

For Thou shalt have no other gods before Bob.

Now airlock your self before you bring down the wrath of Bob.

Blasphemer

Any spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors are because frankly, I don't care!!
handige harrie
Vereenigde Handels Compagnie
#10 - 2013-03-04 16:23:17 UTC
Only if you 'donate' 10% of your income.

Baddest poster ever
James Amril-Kesh
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#11 - 2013-03-04 16:24:41 UTC
What's with all the religious references on the forums suddenly?

Enjoying the rain today? ;)
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
#12 - 2013-03-04 17:11:33 UTC
Incindir Mauser wrote:

First things first.

His name is Bob.

And he's the God of Wormholes.

Bob does not need or want donations.


He does however accept sacrifices

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

New Player FAQ

Feyd's Survival Pack
FeralShadow
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2013-03-04 17:46:37 UTC
I'm totally going to Space Hell. I hear the Space Devil likes to hot drop innocent ishkurs with supercaps!

One of the bitter points of a good bittervet is the realisation that all those SP don't really do much, and that the newbie is having much more fun with what little he has. - Tippia
Lykouleon
Noble Sentiments
Second Empire.
#14 - 2013-03-04 17:46:52 UTC
Space Jesus forgives, Bob does not.

Lykouleon > CYNO ME CLOSER so I can hit them with my sword
Space B Jesus
Hedion University
Amarr Empire
#15 - 2013-03-04 18:16:38 UTC
You're all going to hell.



Peace,

J
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
#16 - 2013-03-04 18:30:18 UTC
Space B Jesus wrote:
You're all going to hell.



Peace,

J


Been there, done that, then I jumped into Niyabainen to get away from all the spam.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

New Player FAQ

Feyd's Survival Pack
Eli Green
The Arrow Project
#17 - 2013-03-04 18:40:50 UTC  |  Edited by: Eli Green
have sins, selling sin removal paste, open a trade window.

Also trading sins

wumbo
Jake Warbird
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#18 - 2013-03-04 19:02:42 UTC
No one gives an almighty **** about this.

Sugar Von MurdererTits : Jake Warbird gets my vote for most intriguing and attractive male character in Eve.
KuroVolt
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#19 - 2013-03-04 19:17:04 UTC  |  Edited by: KuroVolt
FeralShadow wrote:
I'm totally going to Space Hell. I hear the Space Devil likes to hot drop innocent ishkurs with supercaps!

...Space Hell is anywhere within Titan jumprange of PL? Shocked

BoBwins Law: As a discussion/war between two large nullsec entities grows longer, the probability of one comparing the other to BoB aproaches near certainty.
NEONOVUS
Mindstar Technology
Goonswarm Federation
#20 - 2013-03-04 22:06:22 UTC
Space B Jesus wrote:
You're all going to hell.



Peace,

J

Impossible, if we are condemned an infinity for a finite act.
Or is it you tried to divide by zero in your spreadsheet and got an out of bound error?


Regardless I found Space Jesus, blew him up, podded him, took his corpse, and played with the crash spirits and exotic dancers in my cargo hold, all while playing disco fever on the Rancer gate.

Then I got on with the rest of my day in EVE after that lovely warm up.
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