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Caldari Corn Paste answers your questions!
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Reeves Todako
Caldari Corn Paste
#1 - 2013-02-14 18:25:30 UTC
It has come to my attention that lately there was some events in which people mistakenly thought my corporation was involved in using nothing but the finest grains in our Caldari Corn Paste for advanced shield extender technology! While this is an interesting idea and I can assure you we have our top scientists and researchers hard at work finding new and interesting uses for Caldari Corn Paste, shield extender technology is currently many years away.

I can assure you though this by no means is to be a hurdle. There are still many wonderful uses for Caldari Corn Paste, the best Corn Paste this side of Domain! Please, fellow Capsuleers. If you have any inquiries about me or my wonderful product that my corporation strives to provide to the cluster, put those questions here and they will be addressed. I wish only to provide factual information about my glorious product so that we may avoid potentially false rumors.
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
#2 - 2013-02-14 19:09:02 UTC
Way to reveal the secrets behind the superior Caldari shield tech. That's bordering on treason. Gosh, rude.

Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
Malcolm Khross
Doomheim
#3 - 2013-02-14 19:10:36 UTC
You know what we do to traitors in the State? We melt them down and turn them into Caldari Corn Paste.

~Malcolm Khross
Reeves Todako
Caldari Corn Paste
#4 - 2013-02-14 20:25:44 UTC
I must protest! Only the finest grains go into our wonderful Caldari Corn Paste! There have been no incidents of human integration into our mixing processes. You must speak of that which you know, good sir. And I know Corn Paste!

As far as the treason comments, the wonderful properties of Caldari Corn Paste are well known throughout the cluster. I have not said anything that isn't readily apparent to those who are keen to learn.
Daniel L'Siata
Phoenix Naval Operations
Phoenix Naval Systems
#5 - 2013-02-15 11:26:38 UTC
My business proposal still stands sir, I look forward to a prosperous partnership.
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#6 - 2013-02-15 14:54:39 UTC
Is it true that your major export partner is a chain of nightclubs in the Federation which uses your product to fill swimming pools for exotic dancers to wrestle in?

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders
Grideris
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2013-02-15 15:19:07 UTC
Stitcher wrote:
Is it true that your major export partner is a chain of nightclubs in the Federation which uses your product to fill swimming pools for exotic dancers to wrestle in?


I can actually confirm that this is the case. Not personally, but a friend of a friend of mine.

http://www.dust514.org - the unofficial forum for everything DUST 514 http://www.dust514base.com -** the** blog site with everything else DUST 514 you need
Reeves Todako
Caldari Corn Paste
#8 - 2013-02-15 15:36:09 UTC
Daniel L'Siata wrote:
My business proposal still stands sir, I look forward to a prosperous partnership.


So do I! You have a keen mind for business, and of course, a keen eye for the many wonderous uses of Caldari Corn Paste!

Stitcher wrote:
Is it true that your major export partner is a chain of nightclubs in the Federation which uses your product to fill swimming pools for exotic dancers to wrestle in?


One of many major export partners, but yes this is true. While we find many in the State and Republic to appreciate the refined nuances of taste and texture in Caldari Corn Paste, the Federation appears to rather have their gorgeous women swim in it. But who am I to question the customer! Did you know I have actually heard from several accounts that Caldari Corn Paste when applied to the skin keeps you looking young and beautiful? I am not sure Capsuleers would have need for such a product as we can just keep our clones the same age forever, but think of your families who are not graced with the genetic gift of being a Capsuleer!

Buy some Caldari Corn Paste for your friends and loved ones today!
Lady Katherine Devonshire
Royal Ammatar Engineering Corps
#9 - 2013-02-15 16:17:38 UTC
You should combine the corn paste with Amarrian wheat and market it as "Alliance Cornbread."

The sound of the Amarrian heart
Reeves Todako
Caldari Corn Paste
#10 - 2013-02-15 17:52:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Reeves Todako
Lady Katherine Devonshire wrote:
You should combine the corn paste with Amarrian wheat and market it as "Alliance Cornbread."


I regret to say we have been unable to come up with much trade agreement with the Empire. Something about Caldari Corn Paste being sinfully delicious! Also, it's Caldari Corn Paste, not simple corn paste. Remember the name! And get the best!
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#11 - 2013-02-15 17:59:46 UTC
This product, when properly fermented, distilled, filtered and aged in wooden barrels, could be the base for a wonderful alcoholic beverage. I look forward to sampling some of this beverage in the coming years.

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.
Reeves Todako
Caldari Corn Paste
#12 - 2013-02-15 18:50:55 UTC
Anabella Rella wrote:
This product, when properly fermented, distilled, filtered and aged in wooden barrels, could be the base for a wonderful alcoholic beverage. I look forward to sampling some of this beverage in the coming years.


You are in luck! Two months ago I leased some space at Elgoi VI - Moon 1 - Eifyr and Co. Biotech Production for production of an alcoholic beverage! We are experimenting with 39 different flavors identified by potential customers, production will commence as soon as final flavors are chose. All with of course the best Caldari Corn Paste as the primary ingredient!
Kalanaja
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2013-02-16 19:04:32 UTC
It can't be any worse then Chest Wound. I wonder what the alcohol content would be.
Aracturus
Amok.
Goonswarm Federation
#14 - 2013-02-17 11:15:51 UTC
The question is, could we please get a '101 uses for Caldari Corn Paste' post? Seriously. Or '1001 uses for Caldari Corn Paste'. I heard you can use it as a contraceptive.

This is now a WIDOT thread!