These forums have been archived and are now read-only.

The new forums are live and can be found at https://forums.eveonline.com/

Crime & Punishment

 
  • Topic is locked indefinitely.
12Next page
 

Bored at Work, Contest Time!
Author
Previous Topic Next Topic
Eve Terrorist
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#1 - 2013-02-08 04:14:29 UTC  |  Edited by: Eve Terrorist
OK, so I'm bored at work. I want to read fun stuff. I like C&P so I want to read fun stuff in C&P.

The best way I thought of making this work is to have a contest here.

The way it works. You all do what you do best! Post your favorite story, tears, crime spree. It can be yours, one you really love, or one that turned you to the dark side! I, along with a couple other Skunks, will decide which one is the most entertaining and you will receive a free Navy Battleship!

Go! (Trolling is allowed and welcome as it can be funny as hell as well)

ET

p.s. Your prize is being paid for by wonderful incursion runners who died for the honor of providing their faction mods to pay for said Faction Battleship.
Psychotic Monk
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#2 - 2013-02-08 04:25:55 UTC
Confirming we'll be coughing up a faction BS. (Undecided as of yet if it'll be Navy or Pirate. I guess that depends on how good the stories are.)

Belligerent Undesirables Selling Griefer Immunity
Wolf Soprano
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#3 - 2013-02-08 04:36:35 UTC
Eve Terrorist
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#4 - 2013-02-08 04:46:38 UTC
By the way, this is only going on for the next two hours. At which point I get off work, go home, discuss on coms and contract out a Navy Battleship to some lucky bastard. Instant gratification and all that.
Aria Ta'Rohk
Wildcard.
Boundary Experts
#5 - 2013-02-08 04:58:28 UTC  |  Edited by: Aria Ta'Rohk
A buddy of mine once told me a story of tears and hilarity. What happened was someone jumped into my buddy's corp's gate camp in a Navy Scorpion, and was promptly destroyed. Over the course of the next 24 hours, the same guy jumped into their gate camps 3 more times, each time in a semi-faction fitted Navy Scorpion. 24 hours, 2 gate camps, 1 guy, 4 Navy Scorps Pirate

Kill 1: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15271630
Kill 2: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15274091
Kill 3: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15274626
Aaaaand kill 4: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15281264

I'll take 2 carebears to go, with extra tears
Adriel Malakai
Shoulda Checked Local
Break-A-Wish Foundation
#6 - 2013-02-08 06:16:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Adriel Malakai
Here's a quick recap of the best 48 hours of my EVE career.

Started off with a quick awox on a 2b ISK Golem.

Followed by helping out a good friend killing a 17b ISK SNI. (The officer cap recharger goes for 9.5b, while eve-kill has it valued at 7b).

Early the next day, I had a small skirmish with a few WTs, with one of my alliance mates coming in at the last second for a clutch backstop, for a total of about .5b.

This was followed up by a quasi reverse safari of a potential recruit who turned out to be a complete downy. This came with a nice 1b ISK ransom, for a total of 10b destroyed.

A few hours later, we caught a WT in a nice Vindi + pod for another 4b.

And all wrapped up with a nice slaughter of some overconfident war targets who "Had more power in their left pinky than all of BAW," for a final 1b destroyed.

Little less than 48 hours and about 35b destroyed.
Eve Terrorist
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#7 - 2013-02-08 07:03:14 UTC
Adriel Malakai wrote:
Here's a quick recap of the best 48 hours of my EVE career.

Started off with a quick awox on a 2b ISK Golem.

Followed by helping out a good friend killing a 17b ISK SNI. (The officer cap recharger goes for 9.5b, while eve-kill has it valued at 7b).

Early the next day, I had a small skirmish with a few WTs, with one of my alliance mates coming in at the last second for a clutch backstop, for a total of about .5b.

This was followed up by a quasi reverse safari of a potential recruit who turned out to be a complete downy. This came with a nice 1b ISK ransom, for a total of 10b destroyed.

A few hours later, we caught a WT in a nice Vindi + pod for another 4b.

And all wrapped up with a nice slaughter of some overconfident war targets who "Had more power in their left pinky than all of BAW," for a final 1b destroyed.

Little less than 48 hours and about 35b destroyed.


You, my good person, are the winner... out of three people. =) What Navy Battleship would you like?
Adriel Malakai
Shoulda Checked Local
Break-A-Wish Foundation
#8 - 2013-02-08 07:07:17 UTC
Eve Terrorist wrote:
You, my good person, are the winner... out of three people. =) What Navy Battleship would you like?


A Navy Mega would be glorious. =)
Eve Terrorist
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#9 - 2013-02-08 07:11:46 UTC
Contract is up, enjoy the pixels!
Adriel Malakai
Shoulda Checked Local
Break-A-Wish Foundation
#10 - 2013-02-08 07:12:56 UTC
Thanks! Big smile
Zol Interbottom
Blimp Requisition Services
#11 - 2013-02-08 11:20:29 UTC
Didnt even let me post ;)

"If you're quitting for the 3rd time you clearly ain't quitting" - Chribba
Buhhdust Princess
Mind Games.
Suddenly Spaceships.
#12 - 2013-02-08 14:11:19 UTC  |  Edited by: Buhhdust Princess
N'awww, If i'd of known I'd have come to work @ 3am to prepare an epic story!

Ah well...

I posted a story below, I would like an Apocalypse Navy Issue please.
Muchos Gracias.
Buhhdust Princess
Mind Games.
Suddenly Spaceships.
#13 - 2013-02-08 14:19:24 UTC  |  Edited by: Buhhdust Princess
Here's a "decent" one for you anyway.

A long time ago (About 2/3 years) A corporation named Reverse Psychology. worked in a system called Uemon. We were pirates, we loved Battleships, we loved T3s, and we loved carriers.

One day, EVE University decided to trololol along to Otosela (Next door) and we swiftly noticed. We fleeted up to about a fleet of 15 of us, and there was 50 EVE University battlecruisers... What do we do?

I know.. 2 Archons, 9 Thanatos, Rest Cloaky Cyno Recons.
EVE University jump through, we tackle them and light one of the cynos, killing about 6 of them in capitals. They burn back, and start to smack as they jump out of system. Out of 50, we only got 6, pretty terrible :/

Good job we had a cyno on the other side too. We capped the Thanatos up with the battery archons, and fired everything through the cyno, catching about 18 more of them on the other side, thank god we spread our 3 points each on the thanatos a little bit better this time.

This, was how EVE University learned about cap transfers, and I'm glad i could be the one to teach them.
-Buhhd
Christine Peeveepeeski
Low Sec Concepts
#14 - 2013-02-08 14:48:07 UTC
This is well outside the 2 hours limit and not really C+P shizzle but it still makes me chuckle to myself.

In december I was jumping from Egghelende into sisiede minding my own business in a rifter. Specifically a 200mm plated rifter with nos and active rep.

I jumped into sis and I find a caldari militia Dramiel on the other side of the gate.

Clearly, as an ally he would not attack little old me in a rifter right?

So I decloak and POW he is all in my face shooting my ****. I gate crash back into egg but HOLD IT.......

NOBODY ******* FAIL AWOXES MY POWAH RIFTAH AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!111!1!eleventyoneOMGWTFBBQPWN4GE

I jump straight back through now my shock is over and he has left the gate and is wandering towards DAL. I don't see him but in local chat I proclaim 'I AM GOING TO STICK THIS RIFTER UP YOUR ARSE'. I then proceed to chase him across 5 systems in a big circle. I then lose him at sisiede again and I think all is lost :(

But no.... he comes back. I sit in a DSCAN spot watching him bounce celestials. He heads to a customs office and I pounce like a rabid wolverine that's had a vibrator stuck up its arse.

Thus, the mighty 'battle of the sisiede customs office at p4' begins.

I land at 0, web and scram his pointy shipped ass and proceed to lay the smack down SO HARD I do the following.

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15685742
http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15685741

No boosters, no alts, no falcons just one pissed off rifter and a whole lot of dram fail.
Darth Bri
Maniaci Dello Spazio
#15 - 2013-02-08 15:12:54 UTC
Even though this "contest" is over, I'll post my story for you all to enjoy.

This one will be different in that I turn out to be the loser.


Due to a bad experience in wormhole life (corp thief making off with my Tengus), I decided to make an alt, who would fly an Orca, and house my Tengu, a Buzzard scanner ship and a ship for salvaging.


All was well, until one day I was down to the last sleeper in the site, when I ran out of ammo.

I jetted over to my trusty GSC full of ammonia, loaded out and went back to the site. The Sleeper was gone.

"Huh", I thought..... Then went "oh ****!"

I set my tengu to warp to my safe spot, and alt tabbed to see my cloaked Orca sitting safe...... Only it was NOT cloaked, and was being shot at by some not very nice immigrants to my area! I chalked it up to a loss and ejected my alt to get him to safety.

Then I was left with my poor tengu, webbed and scrambled, being shot at.

I figured, what the hell, I'll fire until it all goes dark.

I managed to get one of them down to structure before he warped away (it was a PVE ship, not pvp). The other started to go down a bit before two OTHERS came in to finish me off.

Lesson learned. Be more careful!

Ah well, it's only silly space money. I'll make more!
Ristlin Wakefield
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#16 - 2013-02-08 16:20:05 UTC
So back when I first started EVE I wanted to be a respectable garbage man. I figured I could save mission runners some time by salvaging for them while they kill stuff and in exchange for my services, I'll keep 50% of the salvage!

I would first enter the mission running system and talk in local asking if anyone needed my services. If not, then I would "volunteer" my way into their mission by scanning them down and ask again by opening up a conversation. Some people ignored me so I just salvaged everything and kept it for myself. Others, took it personally.

This guy, Vordek [last name omitted] first tried a few intimidation tactics. He would target me and orbit and when that didn't work he'd warp out to drop aggro and hope for the npcs to kill me. I thought it was amusing that he made such a big deal out of salvage so I would keep coming back to HIS missions specifically and even started to ninja loot and get away with it. Suffice to say, the guy was PISSED.

Sadly I don't have the conversation saved, but I was fortunate enough to have received a in-game mail from him! I kid you not, this is the mail, word for word.

"Each week the ransom will increase with 250 mil. Or untill your corporation stops to exsist.

Todays noob lesson is called
Only **** the with the right kind of people,
avoid the wrong kind."

At first I was a bit concerned. I mean, I was the CEO of my own small noob corp -- we didn't stand a chance against a well-established veteran corporation. But as the days turned to weeks I grew confident. I started poking him and sent this reply.

"So, when were you planning on going to war"

I haven't heard from him since then, but I still send that mail every few weeks :P

I have a lover, her name is EVE. I see her every night and all she asks in return is that I have a pilot's license.
Jancho Breau
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#17 - 2013-02-08 16:22:05 UTC
Aria Ta'Rohk wrote:
A buddy of mine once told me a story of tears and hilarity. What happened was someone jumped into my buddy's corp's gate camp in a Navy Scorpion, and was promptly destroyed. Over the course of the next 24 hours, the same guy jumped into their gate camps 3 more times, each time in a semi-faction fitted Navy Scorpion. 24 hours, 2 gate camps, 1 guy, 4 Navy Scorps Pirate

Kill 1: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15271630
Kill 2: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15274091
Kill 3: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15274626
Aaaaand kill 4: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=15281264


Was his name Wick by any chance ? :)
Eve Terrorist
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#18 - 2013-02-08 19:11:27 UTC
I know, not much notice. But I was at work and needed entertainment. I'll do more of these, but I like the whole short notice thing. Makes people jumpy. ;)
Ristlin Wakefield
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#19 - 2013-02-08 19:18:24 UTC
Eve Terrorist wrote:
I know, not much notice. But I was at work and needed entertainment. I'll do more of these, but I like the whole short notice thing. Makes people jumpy. ;)


Short notice is fine, you being on different time zone than me = not fair Evil

I have a lover, her name is EVE. I see her every night and all she asks in return is that I have a pilot's license.
Eve Terrorist
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#20 - 2013-02-08 19:36:50 UTC
Ristlin Wakefield wrote:
Eve Terrorist wrote:
I know, not much notice. But I was at work and needed entertainment. I'll do more of these, but I like the whole short notice thing. Makes people jumpy. ;)


Short notice is fine, you being on different time zone than me = not fair Evil


I'm actually US ETZ, I just work nights. :D
12Next page