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Crime & Punishment

 
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[GUIDE] How to: P*ss away half a billion ISK and make an ass of yourself doing it
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Beckie DeLey
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2013-01-30 20:02:26 UTC  |  Edited by: Beckie DeLey
Step 1: Get drunk

Step 2: Talk with a buddy about how you haven't played any EVe for two months.

Step 3: Decide to fire up EVE again.

Step 4: Jump to nearest Ice Belt.

Step 5: Wardec ALL the corps!

Step 6: Go to bed.

-- NEXT DAY --

Step 7: Check what you did last night. Find out you just dropped half a bill on wardec fees on random corps despite not even owning a ship with guns on it.

Step 8: "Eh, might as well fit a PVP ship and shoot something" Return to nearest icebelt in a Hurricane.

Step 9: Warp to belt. Log off and log in from time to time to see if you can shoot something.

Step 10: Find a Barge to shoot at! Agress Barge!

Step 11: See a wartarget Stealthbomber uncloak. Whatever, right? We can take a Bomber in a Cane!

Step 12: Get pointed. See a Proteus, a Legion, a Cane and a Mega appear on grid.

Step 13: Die horribly.

Step 14: Realize how bad you really are at this game.



Step 15: Post on forums to make disaster complete.

My siren's name is Brick and she is the prettiest.
Haedonism Bot
People for the Ethical Treatment of Rogue Drones
#2 - 2013-01-30 20:05:34 UTC
Big smile Good story, thanks for sharing.

www.everevolutionaryfront.blogspot.com

Vote Sabriz Adoudel and Tora Bushido for CSMX. Keep the Evil in EVE!
Silus Morde
#3 - 2013-01-30 20:19:16 UTC
Beckie DeLey wrote:
Step 1: Get drunk

Step 2: Talk with a buddy about how you haven't played any EVe for two months.

Step 3: Decide to fire up EVE again.

Step 4: Jump to nearest Ice Belt.

Step 5: Wardec ALL the corps!

Step 6: Go to bed.

-- NEXT DAY --

Step 7: Check what you did last night. Find out you just dropped half a bill on wardec fees on random corps despite not even owning a ship with guns on it.

Step 8: "Eh, might as well fit a PVP ship and shoot something" Return to nearest icebelt in a Hurricane.

Step 9: Warp to belt. Log off and log in from time to time to see if you can shoot something.

Step 10: Find a Barge to shoot at! Agress Barge!

Step 11: See a wartarget Stealthbomber uncloak. Whatever, right? We can take a Bomber in a Cane!

Step 12: Get pointed. See a Proteus, a Legion, a Cane and a Mega appear on grid.

Step 13: Die horribly.

Step 14: Realize how bad you really are at this game.



Step 15: Post on forums to make disaster complete.

well you made sumbuddy happy, always nice.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#4 - 2013-01-30 20:19:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Unsuccessful At Everything
Title says half a bil....killmail says 82 mil..... Im missing something...

edit: oh wait....actually red the op. still confused.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Silus Morde
#5 - 2013-01-30 20:20:01 UTC
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
Title says half a bil....killmail says 82 mil..... Im missing something...

wardec fees

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Charles Case
State War Academy
Caldari State
#6 - 2013-01-30 20:45:28 UTC
Lil' scrub can't handle his booze.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2013-01-30 21:05:44 UTC
Charles Case wrote:
Lil' scrub can't handle his booze.


Yeah, last time I was very drunk I skipped the middleman and accidentally self destructed a jump freighter ShockedCry

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Mark Munoz
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2013-01-30 22:45:41 UTC
Talk about bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
#9 - 2013-01-31 00:57:00 UTC
Drunk Eve, Best Eve

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

New Player FAQ

Feyd's Survival Pack
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#10 - 2013-01-31 05:16:10 UTC
Charles Case wrote:
Lil' scrub can't handle his booze.



Wait....

Are we talking about the OP or your CEO?

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk
Whitehound
#11 - 2013-01-31 07:34:42 UTC
Worst. Apology. Ever.

Loss is meaningful. Therefore is the loss of meaning likewise meaningful. It is the source of all trolling.
Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
Goonswarm Federation
#12 - 2013-01-31 07:53:17 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Charles Case wrote:
Lil' scrub can't handle his booze.


Yeah, last time I was very drunk I skipped the middleman and accidentally self destructed a jump freighter ShockedCry



spilled coffee as I actually beliefe you :-)

TunDraGon is recruiting! "Also, your boobs [:o] "   CCP Eterne, 2012 "When in doubt...make a diȼk joke." Robin Williams - RIP
culo duro
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2013-01-31 07:54:48 UTC  |  Edited by: culo duro
the question is now... Was it worth it?

Edit: also i'd put another nanofiber or a tracking enchancer on that fit rather than 4 gyros. :p

I've starting blogging http://www.epvpc.blogspot.com 
Beckie DeLey
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#14 - 2013-01-31 08:25:55 UTC
culo duro wrote:
the question is now... Was it worth it?


A bunch of miners in a corp named "Beltbusters" beat me up and laughed at me, so what do you think?
I pretty much hit rock bottom there. Big smile

My siren's name is Brick and she is the prettiest.
Brewlar Kuvakei
Adeptio Gloriae
#15 - 2013-01-31 09:31:41 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
Charles Case wrote:
Lil' scrub can't handle his booze.



Wait....

Are we talking about the OP or your CEO?


Skill yourself...
Ra Jackson
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2013-01-31 09:46:47 UTC
Beckie DeLey wrote:
culo duro wrote:
the question is now... Was it worth it?


A bunch of miners in a corp named "Beltbusters" beat me up and laughed at me, so what do you think?
I pretty much hit rock bottom there. Big smile


Even the Procurer pointed you. They seem to know their stuff.
Jint Hikaru
OffWorld Exploration Inc
#17 - 2013-01-31 13:16:50 UTC
Beckie DeLey wrote:
culo duro wrote:
the question is now... Was it worth it?


A bunch of miners in a corp named "Beltbusters" beat me up and laughed at me, so what do you think?
I pretty much hit rock bottom there. Big smile


Ha Ha, Awesome.
Thanks for sharing your story, cheered up a boring thursday lunchtime at work!!

Jint Hikaru - Miner / Salvager / Explorer / SpaceBum In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Vimsy Vortis
Shoulda Checked Local
Break-A-Wish Foundation
#18 - 2013-01-31 15:56:56 UTC
Haha, you were flying a shield ship in highsec.
Gritz1
Ice Fire Warriors
#19 - 2013-01-31 16:16:59 UTC
Dude, awesome. I feel better about myself. I appreciate this.

Also good for the miners, I'm surprised that happened. Seems they were wolves in sheeps clothing.
Winchester Steele
#20 - 2013-01-31 22:18:56 UTC
What a heartwarming tale. Thanks for sharing this OP. Big smile

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