EVE Fiction

And then there is pilot names. Just imaging this...

The scene: A military graduation ceremony. Hundreds of cadets at attention, crisp new uniforms freshly starched. A grizzled commander approaches the microphone stand, white hair like wire, jaw that looks like he uses concrete for chewing gum. He gives a short speech about how these cadets represent the future of New Eden and the greatest hope for their Nation. He talks about how they are the best & the brightest, carefully selected to lead the way in this bold new program of capsuleer technology.

Then he begins to announce the names of the graduates...

"Super spikinator"

"I Love Boobies"

"Xpaulusx"

"IHaveCandyGetInTheVan69"

"highonpop"

"Roidrage Weightlifter"

... and tiny, tiny tears begin to roll down his age etched cheeks as he weeps for the future of all humanity.

"You want to command a crew of a thousand people under the name of Captain Bongwater? Sure thing, just gimmie $15 and you can call yourself Nut Sack BillyBob for all I care."

I don't think it's CONCORD that is being lax, here.

Katran, I respect your points. They're good. And, at a certain level, we have to accept the limitations of our world on the one where we play/relax/conquer entire regions/commit epic cladestine ops and turn alliances into bad memories for fun/watch and appreciate the 'culture'/et frakking cetera.

From what the various Chronicles, In-Character/In-Game forum posts, and other such In-Universe information sources point at--at least in my analysis--is that, In-Universe, CONCORD is lax because they are faced with a rather nasty "lowest common denominator": What all Four Empires (plus the local version of "Damned Space Elves", The Jove) can allagree on.

Sure, the Gallente and Minmatar are allied 'firmly', as are the Amarr and Caldari (leaving out the lesser Factions for now).

Look at the cultural clash between them, however.


Gallente are liberal, theoritically democratic society (with non-continous legislative and executive branches on the same election schedule) who value personal rights, massive corporate intersests, and the rest. Now, take the time to really think about and fix the realities of such a culture in your mind. (I'm sure a fair--but not necessarily majority--number of us don't have to think about it too hard, since we happen to live in a society that can be so-described.)

Now take their allies, the Minmatar.

The Minmatar are a tribal-based society of what are arguably "rugged individualists" who owe are concerned about themselves and the fellow members of their clan. While they value freedom--likely far more than the Gallente ever will, as the Matar understand a lack of freedom all too well--they do not seek the freedom of the Gallente. They are consumed by a drive to free their fellows, a passion for killing Ammarians, and a desire to keep their freedom...but they are bound by their Clan and Tribe identity, and thus, outside of the collective desire to slaughter every last Amarr in vengenance while freeing all of their fellows, they have no unifying goal. The Tribes' prioritiies are usually far too different.

Think about (other than amongst Capsuleers, who it has been argued are no longer fully human and whom have outlooks most cannot understand) how well those two societies would mix on goals, other than those of preserving freedom and individual choice (although with different definitions of 'choice'). And these are people who are fairly firmly allied. Culturally? They likely get along only because the Gallente generally 'live and let live'...if being haughty about their 'freedoms' and moral superiority.


Now, take the Amarr. Deeply fanatical monotheists ruled over by an absolute theocratic dictatorship, with a semi-feudal support structure. (I'd make WH40K Imperium of Man jokes, but I'd actualy feel sorry--for the Amarr --in an encounter with the Imperium of Man, and the Amarr are more successful in their goals, by far.) A routinely long-lived absolute theocratic dictator. And--just to make sure they got the 'full load' in terms of government--they have an ancient, somewhat-byzantine bureacracy that is more heavily entrenched than any five ground wars combined in New Eden's history. They are--as a Faction and a culture--conservative, xenophobic (to a degree), and relgiously fanatical with an extremely unfortunate belief in their own superiority (in any way, shape, or form).

Their allies, the Caldari.

Determined (or bullheadedly stubborn), pure-capitalist, pragramatic, practical, 'enlightened self-interest', militaristic, expert Magnificent Bastards. They of the 'Macross Missile Massacre' and the 'You can't target Me'. The state that whole-sale designs people, indoctrinates the **** out of them, and then sets them loose...and greatly respects them. These are the people that hold an entire planet hostage in a firmlycold-blooded,dispassionate fashion over a point of cultural pride. I understand their feelings--its their damned homeworld--but still a point of cultural pride. Did it actually gain the Caldari anything from a concrete, strategic perspective? NO. It actually, arguably, made the Caldari's position worse strategically; a Titan (and support fleet) is a critical strategic asset. They're not easy to build for anyone, even the Empires (aside from--maybe--the Jove). And the Caldari--over a point of pride--just hung one out to die whenever the Federation (or Sansha's Nation, or a Capsuleer Alliance that "bypasses" CONCORD--this is looking at things from the in-universe POV right now) decides to "pay the ferryman" (i.e., grow the backbone/will and accept the losses) and elimnate the strategic threat to their home system while nicely fragging a hard-to-replace asset of their dire nemesis.

Now, imagine how well those two would get along if not for the Caldari's understanding and practicing of "realpolitik" and Jamyl Sarum's even more ruthless and pragmatic nature. Average citizens? Yeah, polite interaction (mostly on business matters), but even more numerous and greater differences than the Minmatar and the Gallente.

The fifth 'player' in CONCORD: The Jove. Local version of "Damned Space Elves", mixed with transhumanism and philosphy taken too far (most likely too fast). These guys like to "Play Vorlon". Their point of view is completely alien to most Capsuleers (and Capsuleers take "Blue and Orange Morality" to a new standard, in-universe).

Now, imagine being CONCORD and trying to find a compromise between all five of these factions. (I figure CONCORD is staffed by the idealistic "make the world better" types, the cynical "I've seen the truth one-too-many times" types, and the "Bunny-Ears-Lawyers" types that are talented, capable...and utterly unwelcome/unfit for their originigal Factions.) After beating their heads against walls (likely an equal mix of metaphorical and physically)...