Crime & Punishment

Faction Warfare has an ebb and flow to it. Sometimes, on good nights, the flow is on full and there are way more targets than we can handle. Other nights, there is almost nothing to kill outside of a few skittish nano frigs.

On the nights where pickings are slim, people in my alliance begin doing things... things they wouldn't normally do... things that require actual effort.

During one such night, some alliancemates of mine decided to try their hand at an age-old tradition of EVE; suicide ganking mining barges. They hit "paydirt" and got a nice long stream of deliciously spicy rage.

Names have been changed so certain alts, characters, and tactics may remain effective.

AllianceMate1> gf
AllianceMate2 > gf
AllianceMate3 > gf
AllianceMate4 > gf
AllianceMate2 > Kill: VICTIM (Capsule)
VICTIM’S Friend> why bother?
VICTIM’S Friend> I really dont get you faggots
AllianceMate1> why?
VICTIM’S Friend> what the **** motivates you do be the lowsy ******* pieces of **** that you are
AllianceMate3 > Raise the pricde of **** in amarr
VICTIM’S Friend> is that it?
AllianceMate1> its fun
VICTIM > its fun? Why not use your time to kill ships that deserve it
AllianceMate1> Kill: ANOTHER VICTIM (Mackinaw)
AllianceMate1> we do
VICTIM > in stead of griefing those in high sec
AllianceMate1> look our KB
AllianceMate1> everyone runs
VICTIM > you guys are ******* trash
VICTIM > pitiful ******* trash
Random Person 1 > all part of the game, prices are high you sell ore and mats, prices are low you buy ore and mats to make ships, piracy gets to be high you build the ships there using
VICTIM > you call this piracy?
AllianceMate3 > no
VICTIM > this is simply childish abuse looking for an outlet to **** people off
AllianceMate3 > it is strategy
VICTIM > you kids need to find real ******* work
VICTIM > dip *****
AllianceMate3 > this is
VICTIM > think real hard about it
AllianceMate3 > no
AllianceMate3 > you dont realize how much this helps us in low sec
VICTIM > I even offered (our “undercover” alt) orca support. I had a strong feeling what he was doing lurking there
AllianceMate3 > come pay us a visit if you are hatin'
VICTIM > but I insisted to believe there are some half decent folks in this game
VICTIM > again and again I am let down
VICTIM > **** you all
(our “undercover” alt) > what?
VICTIM > dont play stupid
(our “undercover” alt) > i gtfo'd
VICTIM > you lurking there is what called in these scum bags
(our “undercover” alt) > i wasnt lurking anywhere
(our “undercover” alt) > they didnt gank me
VICTIM > no ****... you just happend to get right beside my mining fleet
VICTIM > mine the same ******* ice block I am mining
VICTIM > move your ship just a little closer in
VICTIM > for perfect warp distance
(our “undercover” alt) > i didnt do anything. i was just trying to mine
VICTIM > play stupid all you want.
(our “undercover” alt) > then fkrs blew **** up and i warped out
VICTIM > again, Why bother?
VICTIM > seriously. Why hide the fact that you are just as much to blame
(our “undercover” alt) > wtf you on about m8?
VICTIM > stop being a coward and own up to being a vile pos
Random Person 2 > calm down dude
Random person 2 > get some more implants and carry on man
VICTIM > no **** you. Thanks for giving me a reason to quit mining
VICTIM > you think time is something we all have
VICTIM > were we can afford to lose 300million for ***** and giggles
(our “undercover” alt) > m8, i have no idea what your on about. it could have been me they killed
(our “undercover” alt) > i gtfod so fast my drones are still there.
Random person 2 > if you got time to sit here and be mad about being killed in a game thats designed specificaly for that then you should spend your time crying somewhere else
Random person 2 > yeah its irritating but good god man
VICTIM > I am not crying. I am just letting you know that you kids are garbage
VICTIM > and don't know how to spend your time better
(our “undercover” alt) > tell the ppl who shot you m8. dont talk that sht to me
(our “undercover” alt) > or ill ******* suicide you
VICTIM > griefing those who don't deserve it is beyond sickening.
Random person 1> so report him to your corp/ alliance have him red flagged, red flag him yourself and remember him next time you see him in low sec *(<-- lolwut? This is high-sec Mr. Random)*. sitting in station swearing at him for being a **** doesnt solve anything
VICTIM > no it doesn't...
VICTIM > I operate alone, and i'll deal with this alone.
Random person 1> thats the spirit

Wow. And that, my friends, is a prime example of someone who takes eve too seriously.

In my humble experience, there is a discernible pattern to how highsec miners react to inconveniences like this.

1. Make liberal use of profanity and ad hominems. Call into question your attacker's sexual orientation, maturity, and financial security. Accuse them of being sociopaths.
2. Make empty threats of revenge in-game (and, if you're particularly unbalanced, in Real Life). Tell them about the powerful lowsec/nullsec friends that you don't actually have.
3. Sulk off and return to mining - don't actually follow through with any of your threats, remember your own impotence. Doom yourself to repeat this unfortunate pattern of behavior.

I am Amun Khonsu and I approve this message.

A true classic.

Not much a story here, but the mail made me smile.

and concider writing a Petition, I'm sure this relates to an RL death wish on me.

Back Ground

My Alt was moving stuff from high sec to low sec, ammos, cap boosters and the like, which meant a couple of passes of Tannolen, each time I passed I noticed this gentlemen sitting perfectly still and looking very afk, I was busy with the logistic runs so largely ignored him. After my third pass the temptation became to much to resist and I brought in my Mach to give him a little taste of Snuff Love.

Took the ship and of course the pod.

Seems I might of upset him a little

he sent me a mail... which is pasted below along with my reply

Good evening Sir

Thanks so much for your delightful mail.

Sadly, I will have to decline your offer of a painful and memberless death. I can only assume your are reffering to a virtual in-game death.

On the subject of your in game death, we in Snuff believe that we offer a meaningful and useful service to the eve community, provide lessons and guidance in general game mechanics and playing styles.

In the future might a suggest you don't jumping into lowsec and go afk?

In closing I would like to thank you for the laughs you provided myself and my corp mates with your mail.

Kind regards

Eddie Valvetino.

---

**** you
From: Silly Corpus
Sent: 2013.01.25 23:18
To: eddie valvetino,

The subject pretty much says it all. bet you feel like such a man picking on the weak and helpless. i hope your **** rots off and you die a slow painful death from aids.

Not yet had a reply, should I get one I will happily post it.

I arrived at my school too early and decided to check what is happening in my system and saw few mining barges on d-scan.
After small change of NOS to neut on my hurricane i warped in and they had 2 thoraxes protecting the barges.
Once i landed i shot down the first thorax while i didn't even tackle him. First thorax
While having drones on the first barge i shot the second thorax Second thorax
After thoraxes were down i opened fire on the barges i didn't have tackled, one of them was able to get away while i was killing other 2 barges First barge, Second barge

After i looted the wrecks and went back to station i got convo from their CEO.

[06:30:23] Victim CEO > why
[06:30:38] Deryn Angrard > yarr
[06:30:49] Victim CEO > ****** ********
[06:31:27] Deryn Angrard > i need money
[06:31:49] Victim CEO > can I see your build?
[06:32:37] Deryn Angrard > DA rhino
[06:33:08] Victim CEO > nice
[06:34:22] Victim CEO > thanks for not killin the pods though
[06:34:32] Deryn Angrard > i would have killed them too
[06:34:38] Deryn Angrard > but school PC lags like ****
[06:35:28] Victim CEO > why
[06:36:11] Deryn Angrard > pods can be pretty expensive
[06:40:03] Victim CEO > You do know that being a pirate is pretty **** right
[06:40:10] Deryn Angrard > yup
[06:40:15] Victim CEO > Its one thing to attack people who **** you off but another when you just want to ruin their day
[06:40:39] Deryn Angrard > i dont want to ruin your day, i want to get money from you
[06:40:45] Deryn Angrard > either in loot or in ransom
[06:41:00] Victim CEO > Your suppose to ask for ransom first
[06:41:07] Victim CEO > before u go ******* killing ****
[06:41:27] Deryn Angrard > im not going to ask for a ransom while being shot at and other people in local
[06:41:37] Victim CEO > You start a convo
[06:41:41] Victim CEO > and I wasnt shooting u first
[06:42:33] Deryn Angrard > im not going to wait a second if there are others in system because they might be your friends
[06:44:17] Victim CEO > how about you be my friend
[06:44:23] Victim CEO > so I dont have to go through that bullshit again
[06:44:29] Victim CEO > 4 ships ******* lost
[06:44:43] Deryn Angrard > if its not me, its someone else
[06:44:50] Deryn Angrard > im red to everyone in this area too
[06:44:53] Victim CEO > having an extra person for security
[06:44:58] Victim CEO > is always ncie
[06:45:22] Deryn Angrard > i cant protect anyone
[06:45:31] Deryn Angrard > locals hate me
[06:45:41] Victim CEO > I can see why
[06:45:45] Victim CEO > attacking without provication
[06:45:53] Victim CEO > not giving someone a chance to pay u to leave them alone
[06:47:13] Deryn Angrard > i will ransom if i know you cant have back up
[06:48:02] Deryn Angrard > there were like 10 other guys in local, too risky to stay on belt
[06:48:35] Victim CEO > what even made you check the belt
[06:49:08] Deryn Angrard > D-scan showed that there are mining barges in the system
[06:49:32] Victim CEO > **** d scan
[06:50:17] Deryn Angrard > best tool on your ship if you know how to use it
[06:55:02] Victim CEO > i g2g take care.... but I hope you get killed in the game.
[06:55:19] Deryn Angrard > see you later

There might be mistakes because english is my second language.

And I do miss posting stories in here. I have not forgotten this Pirate Thread, I need to go out and do what I use to do, Right now I am more focused on the members in the corp hoping that they enjoy themselves while I plan my next solo adventures.

Got a 0.0 small gang pvp story for you guys bored at work.
(I'm going to try using zKB because eve-kill links expire or stop working for some reason.)

Wasn't planning on doing any PvP tonight, but my buddy (Diezir) gets on and tells me there is a suspect gila baiting new players in a newbie system, we blow him up:

http://zkillboard.com/detail/28424078/
Nothing special. But this encourages us to start a 0.0 roam.

I grab a shield harbinger, Diezir takes a rupture, and one of my "Rookie PvPers" fits a stabber and we head to 0.0.

After about 30 or so jumps we come across another small gang who also has three ships... Heretic, Hurricane, and bait Maller. From the sov we can tell the space is their home.

After some messing about they finally get the guts to engage and send the Maller in, we accept the fight and begin shooting at the Maller. He has a strong tank and manages to get a scram on one of the cruisers. The Hurricane and the Heretic warp from a 200km pinkspot off the gate right ontop of our tackled cruiser. We lose the stabber.

I order the rupture to kill the heretic right next to him (because they have very low EHP while being very expensive), the heretic goes down. But at the same time so does our Rupture.

http://zkillboard.com/detail/28428129/

At this point it is the Maller and Hurricane vs me. I kite the Hurricane as best as I can with scorch to keep the Maller off of me and to try to make an escape, the Hurricane being the faster ship.. catches up but at that point hes in low armor and begins flying towards his Maller buddy in the hopes that he can peal for him. Not wanting to let him go I follow and get webbed by the Maller and the Hurricane escapes.

This gives me enough time to finish off the Maller:

http://zkillboard.com/detail/28428123/

Thinking that I've won that engagement (Was pretty even ISK wise) I stay back to loot the field and talk some smack to the Hurricane for selfishly leaving his friend to die.. Local spikes and a much larger gang of the same alliance pours through. The hurricane reappears on the gate, and begins confidently burning towards me with his 10+ fleet ready to warp in. I notice what is happening and I warp to celestial and start making safespots. On d-scan I see multiple ships:

-Armageddon, Hyperion.
-3x Harbingers, -2x Hurricanes.
-Hawk and Raptor.
-Tornados.
-Huginn.
-Broadsword, Onyx.
-Some other stuff including a probing ship.

I warp 100km to gate we had the initial engagement at and see the same hurricane now accompanied by an Armageddon, Hawk, and two Harbingers.
I scan around for a little bit and realize that I'm effectively stuck in the system. They have every exit gate either covered by fast tackle or bubbled by a heavy dictor.

I spot the wreck of one of my pilots and realize that if I burn away 30kms I can warp to it at zero. I do so and I get put much closer than I wanted right next to the gang sitting on the gate. They stop hugging the gate and pursue. My biggest threat is the Hawk who can tackle me so that the bigger guns can fire freely on my ship. I'm already taking heavy damage from the Harbs and Armageddon who get great DPS at mid-range with scorch, things become worse when the Hawk manages to land a Web and a Scram on me. My warrior IIs weren't fast enough killing his tank and my guns didn't land the best shots. At this point I activated a medium energy neutralizer on him. His scram turns off, I load Navy Multifreq Crystals in and 3 shot his ship while burning away. My shield tank very low and I'm hurting to leave.

http://zkillboard.com/detail/28428330/

I also lock his pod and kill it while kiting (nice implants, glad I did ^.^ )

http://zkillboard.com/detail/28428334/

Dipping into armor I try to warp but a hero Raptor manages to get a long point on me and close in for a 22km orbit. At this point the rest of the fleet has caught up and everything is going to ****. A Huginn webs me from 50km+ plus and the hero Raptor is still on me. I do the only thing I can and put my drones on the Raptor, hes too far away to be neuted.. and my guns (loaded scorch) are having trouble tracking his ship. I overload my microwarp in an effort to gain every little kilometer I can from the enemy long range DPS (Armageddon, Harbingers, Tornados). I'm at 10% structure about to die and I hastily off-line my nanofiber giving me an extra 15% structure.. Just enough to last two more shots from a Tornado. My drones were digging into the Raptors armor and I think he panics and decides to burn away? I manage to land a perfect shot on him and he blows up. I instantly spam the warp button (Was already aligned) and warp out. I live with 14% structure.

http://zkillboard.com/detail/28428346/

I believe this entire ordeal greatly angers the 0.0 residents and they bring even more ships to hunt my pesky Harbinger down. Every gate out now has some sort of bubble on it and they bring in dedicated scanning ships to find me. I'm forced to bounce safespots for 15 minutes until I can safely log off at a far away moon. I take a deep breath and explain the story to my two wingmates and they felt alot better about losing their ships in the previous fight. Instead of an even trade they ended up losing 3x more ISK than us.





This turned out to be alot longer than I expected. Hope you guys enjoyed it, I know I did.

This isn't really a good story, but great tears.

We found this Hulk, Covetor and Orca mining in high sec, needless to say. Orca got murdered.

However that isn't the funny part, cause the pilot was understanding and more or less like, thanks for teaching me a lesson.

Here's the great part. A random WH alliance guy convo'd me later that day, with this message, we're not even at war with them.

[19:54:32] culo duro > o/
[19:54:35] Unknown relation to kill > Howdy
[19:54:44] Unknown relation to kill > Well done on the orca kill
[19:54:50] culo duro > Ty.
[19:54:50] Unknown relation to kill > She is upset tho
[19:54:55] Unknown relation to kill > eh
[19:55:00] Unknown relation to kill > It was deserved
[19:55:19] Unknown relation to kill > They are a noob corp, just shedding spies before they join AOE.
[19:55:26] Unknown relation to kill > Hopefully soon.
[19:55:31] Unknown relation to kill > http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=alliance&name=Acquisition+Of+Empire
[19:55:43] Unknown relation to kill > Then we get to teach them how to fly.
[19:56:00] culo duro > KB REMOVED This is where i come from.
[19:56:13] Unknown relation to kill > You guys seem like you might be interested in more than highsec wars yourself.
[19:56:45] culo duro > We don't do high sec wars for the pvp, doing high sec wars for the pvp is like walking a dog like sitting on chair.
[19:56:48] culo duro > We do it for the isk.
[19:56:56] Unknown relation to kill > WOOT 5 weeks till marmite goes back on sale for me!
[19:57:13] Unknown relation to kill > Im so excited. Its been our for over a year since the earthquake.
[19:57:41] Unknown relation to kill > And how exactly do you make isk out of it?
[19:57:56] culo duro > Loot, ransoms.
[19:58:18] Unknown relation to kill > You certainly seem like highsec war folk.
[19:58:26] Unknown relation to kill > Not seeing much in the way of null on there.
[19:58:33] Unknown relation to kill > Or wormholes.
[19:58:54] culo duro > Marmite is a high sec merc alliance, that reached Top 13 in EON Magazine on alliances.
[19:59:50] Unknown relation to kill > Yeah? AOE is wormhole alliance
[19:59:58] Unknown relation to kill > Congrats on killing the noobs
[20:00:23] culo duro > So what type you flying in?
[20:01:03] Unknown relation to kill > Well we just finished evicting some ruskies from a C4 for a new corp in our alliance.
[20:01:26] Unknown relation to kill > ***** of a wormhole to get to, never any nice statics.
[20:01:46] culo duro > So why exactly are you convo'ing me?
[20:02:04] Unknown relation to kill > Just wanted to see who exactly is bothering such a nice mining corp.
[20:02:21] culo duro > we're only in it for isk.
[20:02:30] Unknown relation to kill > Oh **** really?
[20:02:33] Unknown relation to kill > the isk
[20:02:36] Unknown relation to kill > Just hte isk
[20:02:47] Unknown relation to kill > You know incursions can make you 100m an hour?
[20:02:56] Unknown relation to kill > Im sure thats better isk.
[20:03:05] culo duro > It's repetetive.
[20:03:16] Unknown relation to kill > Yeah but its all about the isk right?
[20:03:53] culo duro > Yeah and i spent 5M scouting out that orca, which gave me 40M.
[20:04:01] Unknown relation to kill > Killing noobs is repeditive too.
[20:04:12] Unknown relation to kill > Yeah? and how long did that take?
[20:04:26] culo duro > it took 5Min. :p
[20:04:47] Unknown relation to kill > took 5 min *today*
[20:05:27] culo duro > I can login use 5min of my day find a ship and kill it, or people pay a considerably low ransom.
[20:05:50] culo duro > besides what i enjoy is the hunt, not the killing.
[20:06:35] Unknown relation to kill > The hunt? *type in name*-*fly to system*-*kill* *Achivement unlocked! Mighty Hunter!*
[20:06:44] Unknown relation to kill > Thats about it right?
[20:06:58] Unknown relation to kill > You couldnt handel real pvp where the enemy fights back.
[20:07:23] culo duro > I'm going to ask again, so why are you convo'ing me? besides smack talking?
[20:07:53] Unknown relation to kill > Wanted to find out what your like, all my concerns have been smoothed out now.
[20:08:03] Unknown relation to kill > Your just compensating.
[20:08:11] Unknown relation to kill > o/ Fly safe nub.
[20:08:14] culo duro > i'm compensating for what?

I then proceeded to know what 'real pvp' is, so i looked up his KB, and noticed he had mostly only got 30 vs 2-3 guys on his KB.

Re: Re: Question
From: culo duro
Sent: 2013.02.12 20:16
unless there's several hours between thoes kills where some of them get killed within minutes in between i'd say that's some pretty weird fleet fights.

---

Re: Question
Sent: 2013.02.12 20:15
To: culo duro,
However you miss the part where those are fleet fights, and there are 20-30 people a side, those kills arent 30 people vs 1
It happens when the FC calls a primary and the primary dies.

---

Question
From: culo duro
Sent: 2013.02.12 20:14
Does real Pvp mean blopping other players? because that's what you seem to do, i can't find a single kill on your killboard which is a fair fight.

He didn't respond to my last question though.

It's not tears, but still entertaining.