Warfare & Tactics

Here's the scenario,

A paladin jumps into a system when a group of reds follow behind. A bubble goes up and the killing begins. The helpless paladin pilot self destructs and warps off in his pod. As he is warping off, an alliance member has also jumped into the system and sees the empty paladin stranded, possibly being shot by the aggressor's (we don't know). The alliance member boards the ship as it self destructs just milliseconds after boarding. The alliance member gets the insurance payout but there is no kill mail.

So a few questions as I don't have much knowledge on the self destruct mechanics:

1. If a ship is self destructing and the pilot ejects, but another pilot enters the ship, does the self destruct get cancelled?

2. Why no kill mail?

3. If the new pilot boards the new ship as soon as it pops, should that pilot get the insurance payout?

I know the last question is kind of an obvious answer but the pilot said himself that 'as soon as he pressed 'board ship', the ship popped', and the original pilot loses out on insurance payout.

Sorry if you don't understand what i'm trying to get across.