EVE General Discussion

~eliteRP~

When I want to roleplay a neckbeard I log into EVE online ... oh wait maybe I don't need to.

So let me call thee a proper and well grown and funny cvnt, good fellow!

You shouldn't mix settings when RPing; this is EVE, the TOG does not exist.

Miner Bumping - A Cautionary Tale

It was an average day in the ice fields. Several barges floated silently in space, the beams of the ice harvester equipment the only disturbance. Billy Bob, and his identical brothers Joe Bob and Steve Bob, were performing their normal routine of ice harvesting, the same as they did most days. The handful of Serpentis frigates present in the field were no threat to the barges.

But this day was different. From the direction of the star, a bright red painted Maller dropped out of warp, decelerating rapidly. Most of the barges took absolutely no notice of the new arrival. However, Billy Bob was suspicious. "I don't like the look of that Maller" he said. "Joe Bob, Steve Bob, cut your lasers, dock up." Joe Bob and Steve Bob stopped their harvesters and aligned to warp out. Billy Bob cut his lasers off, but could not align, in his inattentiveness, Billy Bob had drifted too close to the ice, and would have to fly clear before warping. "Damn, I'm hung up". he said.

Meanwhile, the Maller pilot, a flame haired, green eyed woman by the name of Malicia, activated her microwarpdrive and swung about to the closest barge that had not noticed her arrival. "lol" she broadcast across the star systems communication channel, as she accelerated to several hundred metres per second. "Collision warning" said her ship's computer as the distance to the barge dropped from kilometres to metres, and then, as the shields of the Maller and the barge intermingled, the two ships were violently repelled from each other, sending the barge careening away from the ice, and out of range of the harvesters.

Finally, the barge became aware of Malicia's Maller, broadcasting a string of profanities. Malicia, smirking in her capsule, was undeterred, and chose instead to repeat her previous transmission "lol", as she altered course to aim for a second barge, who also uttered a string of curse words across the solar system, as it was pushed away from the ice.

Billy Bob was still aligning for warp, when Malicia spotted him and turned towards him, but the distance was too great, and he entered warp just a few seconds before the Maller reached the barge's position. "aww", broadcast Malicia. "Cute." said Billy Bob in reply.

mid warp to the station, Billy Bob noticed an incoming message, pulling it up, he noticed who it was from. None other than Malicia herself.
"hi, omg, no-one's ever called me, like, cute before, and stuff. Want to like, have a drink or something?"
"sure, why not" replied Billy Bob, thinking to himself, "what's the worst that could happen?"

A short time later, Billy Bob was sipping a Spiked Quafe in the only bar on station that served capsule pilots. He glanced at his comunit, checking the time, when a shadow appeared. Looking up, he saw it was Malicia, wearing a Gallente style transparent red glass corset, bright red hotpants and thigh-high boots.
"omg, hi" she said brightly. "Sorry, I'm like a bit late and stuff, it was totally hard to get here, like, I could barely open the door to my place. Some dude said something about atmosphere or something. Weird"
Billy Bob mumbled "I like your outfit", trying not to stare, as it left very little to the imagination.
"Thanks! It's totally this new thing I got from the NeX store?" said Malicia.
"I did not know they sold those things there" said Billy Bob, "umm, can I get you a drink?"

Billy Bob and Malicia spent the next few hours chatting about ice harvesting and spaceships, when Malicia had an idea, "Omg, I had an idea, what if like, I push all the other dudes away from the ice, and you can mine in peace and stuff? you could totes bung me a few mill ISK from your like, profits". Billy Bob, by this time, quite full of Quafe-flavoured mixed drinks, mumbled "Sure, why not." and reached for his glass, misjudging the distance and brushing his hand against Malicia's transparent corset, causing her to giggle. "heheheee, that tickles" she said, "let's go back to my place".

After arguing again with the station personnel, regarding the ability to open doors and move from one place to another on station, the two arrived at Malicia's quarters, where, barely able to keep their hands off each other long enough to undress they [Scenes unsuitable for a PG audience, mostly involving things bumping together].

And so, Malicia and Billy Bob started on a new venture. Malicia bumping Billy Bob's opposition away from the ice by day, then bumping each other by night.

With the profits from the monopolisation of ice products, Billy Bob and Malicia became fabulously wealthy, until, in the fullness of time, they lost most of it after their daughter, who had been mistakenly given director roles, absconded with the contents of the corporation wallet.



The moral of this story, is of course, that the corporation management UI is terrible, that the old style outfits were hilarious, and it is often better to laugh than to curse in local.

Tib hasn't. My CEO wrote him letters and quarterly reports, and got replies back.

I've had several interesting conversations with the Dev Actor who plays Citizen Ahvar, and TS-F has in the past been asked to show up in local during things like plot incursions to fill local with taunts and so forth. It's a lot of fun.

During the more recent live events, we've taken to showing up to help the traditional allies (however loose that term is) of Nation, such as the Blooders and the Guristas, while showing up to stop the traditional enemies of Nation such as the four empires and the Angels/Serpentis bloc.