EVE General Discussion

tl;dr version:
Snowball Launchers were fun. Gimme.


Back in winter of 2008, CCP gave us what was easily the best gift they have ever given us. Every pilot logged in that day to a Snowball Launcher and 300 snowballs sitting in their hangar. I remember hanging out outside Dodixie Moon 20 station, and there were just dozens of pilots engaged in one massive snowball fight. It was a free-for-all, and nobody was safe. Well, except for the interceptors, whom I remember seeing zooming around at high speeds, some kiting over a dozen snowballs which were trailing behind them, trying desperately to hit them. I have not met a single pilot who was around for the Snowball Launchers and does not remember them fondly as I do.

Now compare this memory to my memories of other gifts we have received. My Apotheosis I think I undocked in once to see what it looked like. Same with my Primae, Zephyr, and my Echelon. All undocked once, and then docked up again to keep as boring, though valuable collectors items. I bought two Interbus Shuttles just to have, and I have not undocked in either of them. I own two of the Quafe Iterons, and I have not even sat in either of them. My Quafe shirts are sitting in a can in Dodixie, never to be worn. My Quafe Zero is also sitting in a can, right next to my gift implants, all of which are unlikely to ever be used by anyone. Don't get me wrong, none of these are particularly bad gifts. In fact, I am pretty fond of my collection of collectors items. But they are not FUN gifts. They exist to be collected, not used. They exist to sit in station, collecting dust and going up in value, forever. The Snowball Launchers were the only truly fun gift we have ever received, and that is exactly why everyone is so fond of them, and why they should be brought back.

With the recent addition of launcher hardpoints and models, and the missile revamp, new Snowball Launchers are almost too perfect of a gift this winter. And because of this, I have decided to start a player petition to CCP to try our best to convince CCP to bring them back.

Here is my proposal:

1) Leave the current Snowball Launchers/Melted Snowballs as they are. The ones in the game now are collectors items, which players have been holding onto for years now, and they should not be punished for that. I am opposed to anything that will lower the value of the Snowball Launchers or Melted Snowballs that are currently in the game. These new Snowball Launchers should be a different model of Snowball Launcher, and the ammo should be different as well. That way the launchers and melted snowballs from 2008 will continue to be rare and valuable as collectors items.

I am not opposed to making the new ammo work with the old launchers, so long as if and when the new ammo melts, it is distinguishable from the old melted snowballs. Actually, I think it would be a nice reward for players who have been holding onto their old snowball launchers for all these years to be able to use them again. Maybe even give them slightly better stats than the new ones, so players have a reason to use them again.

2) As you did last time, give each player 1 launcher and a bunch of snowballs to have some fun with.

But that's not all.

We got 300 snowballs each last time. 300 was far too few. That was an hour or two's worth of entertainment at most (if you stretched them out). Surely a gift this awesome should bring more than a couple short hours of entertainment, right?

I considered a few solutions to this problem, and I think I know the best solution. But here are the not-so-best ones first so you can decide for yourselves:
A) You could increase the number of snowballs you give us. But I still have a problem with this. Even if you increase it to 3000, you are still injecting a limited, set number of snowballs into the game, and basically capping the amount of enjoyment we can get out of them (as a community, not as individuals).
B) You could seed snowballs themselves onto the market. But this just isn't in the spirit of Eve, really. If you do this you are giving an arbitrary isk value to the snowballs, preventing them from being traded like a normal commodity. And then of course they are being seeded by NPCs, and who wants more NPC seeded items in Eve?

These two clearly are not optimal solutions, which leads me to number three:
3) Add snowball BPCs to the market. In my opinion this is the perfect solution. For one, the BPCs would be a nice, massive, one-time isk sink. Everyone loves isk sinks, especially CCP. And then you are allowing the players to decide how many of them will exist in the game, and you are letting the market decide what they are worth. And of course, if a player wants to hoard massive amounts of snowballs and spend all winter lobbing them at people outside Jita 4-4, they will be free to do so, and they can get as much enjoyment out of their gift as possible.

So please, please, PLEASE CCP, bring back Snowball Launchers for us this winter. I think it's safe to say I want this even more than a lowsec buff, or a neutral RR nerf. I can't even describe the number of sexual favors I am willing to give in order to make this a reality.

And to you players who want this as badly as I do, show it. Post in here stating your support. Link this thread for your friends, so they can show support. Spam this thread in local if you want. Drown the Jita local scams in a sea of cries for Snowball Launchers (all right, lets not go that far). But seriously, this is a petition. CCP will only respond to it if we show them just how many people want this.

If this was done again there should also be a T2 variety of ammo available... Slush Balls... and they should sting like the dickens.

Since people vetoed my idea of snowball launching pony shaped drones, I back the above idea instead. Purely due to Rangers use of the phrase "like the Dickens"