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My birthday is approaching

Author
Vaari
Imperial Pharmacy
#1 - 2012-11-22 03:51:23 UTC
It brings me great joy to announce, that I, Lord Vaari, Earl of Sosan VII, Founder and despot of the Imperial Pharmacy, self proclaimed prophet, golden mountain, the world's most beloved hero, teacher of faith, speaker of unquestioned truth, high father. archbishop of the Church of Providence, carrier of the Heaven's light, symbol of unchallenged victory, manifestation of faith, hero of the Providence, liberator of Providence, paragon of all virtues, skilled miner, great industrialist, inspiring leader, and many more impressive title have soon birthday.

I grow very old and achieve honorable age of 662 years. Many will say that I, Lord Vaari lie about my age, but those who watch the world with both eyes wide, see that my high age is clear sign of my high position in God's thoughts.

I have ordered finest artisanst to make two posters to celebrate my birthday.

http://dl.eve-files.com/media/corp/Vaari/Vaarin-juhlat-1-YC113-www.jpg
http://dl.eve-files.com/media/corp/Vaari/Vaarin-juhlat-2-YC113-www.jpg

I hope all holder alliances will remember my birthday and buy me a well fitted paladin class marauder together.

All others may send me gifts suited for their economic situation, but no less than 10 000 000 million isk worth.

Fear the God and honor the Empress!

-House Valius battle shout.

Katrina Oniseki
Oniseki-Raata Internal Watch
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#2 - 2012-11-22 04:01:51 UTC
While I'm sure the rest of the posters around will make fun of you as usual, celebrating the miracle of birth and life is important. So, I offer you a lovely teacup set, if you'd like.

I have just the maker in mind too. He does all his work by hand, a master craftsman. The result is without a doubt some of the mostly highly regarded Citadel Porcelain to be found, and a suitable addition to any table.

Katrina Oniseki

Pieter Tuulinen
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#3 - 2012-11-22 06:34:45 UTC
Did I receive a blow to the head or isn't it YC 114, not 113?

For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.

Natalcya Katla
Astropolitan Front
#4 - 2012-11-22 07:11:38 UTC
Vaari wrote:
All others may send me gifts suited for their economic situation, but no less than 10 000 000 million isk worth.

Nothing worth less than ten quadrillion isk? Is this a roundabout way of saying "I don't want any presents"?
Mitara Newelle
Newelle Family
#5 - 2012-11-22 07:56:04 UTC
The posters are of high quality, your artisan should be commended.

Oh, and happy birthday, Lord Vaari.

Lady Mitara Newelle of House Sarum, Holder of the Mekhios province of Damnidios Para'nashu, Champion of House Sarum, Sworn Upholder of the Faith, Divine Commodore of the 24th Imperial Crusade

Admiral of Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris

Edaine Numenor
Numenor Benevolent Holdings
#6 - 2012-11-22 13:55:07 UTC
I was roused from sleep early this morning by a supposed friend; early rising freek. So, in a bit of a cranky mood I notice this post. In order bring myself to a better mood I have decided to give you a birthday gift of cash. It should be in your wallet today. Giving cheers the soul, afterall.

Yes, nice posters, for last year, that is. Next time make sure your artisan is sober.

Liberating slaves wherever, whenever, and however I can.

Andreus Ixiris
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2012-11-22 16:24:09 UTC
I got you the most philosophical, thought-provoking, spiritual and divine gift of all.

NOTHING.

Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.

Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.

Andreus Ixiris > ...

Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.

Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#8 - 2012-11-22 16:26:04 UTC
Vaari wrote:
It brings me great joy to announce, that I, Lord Vaari, Earl of Sosan VII, Founder and despot of the Imperial Pharmacy, self proclaimed prophet, golden mountain, the world's most beloved hero, teacher of faith, speaker of unquestioned truth, high father. archbishop of the Church of Providence, carrier of the Heaven's light, symbol of unchallenged victory, manifestation of faith, hero of the Providence, liberator of Providence, paragon of all virtues, skilled miner, great industrialist, inspiring leader, and many more impressive title have soon birthday.


you forgot "Lord High Not Speak Good".

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders

Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#9 - 2012-11-22 16:38:38 UTC
My father was right; there's no fool like an old fool.

Regards,

Lady Anabella Rella,
TLF Lance Commander, Dame Commander of Konora, Patroness of Pator, Councillor of Caille, Chain Yanker Extraordinaire and Heir to the fortune of Clan Rella

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.

Scherezad
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#10 - 2012-11-22 16:50:45 UTC
Many happy returns, sir. I'm afraid I'm simply not wealthy enough to provide a gift within your specifications, but I wish you well all the same.
Edaine Numenor
Numenor Benevolent Holdings
#11 - 2012-11-22 17:12:08 UTC
Scherezad wrote:
Many happy returns, sir. I'm afraid I'm simply not wealthy enough to provide a gift within your specifications, but I wish you well all the same.

Its the thought that counts. I gave him 0.10 ISK.

Liberating slaves wherever, whenever, and however I can.

Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#12 - 2012-11-22 17:16:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Stitcher
That's a bit shy of the ten trillion he asked for. I doubt he'll be very appreciative.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders

Edaine Numenor
Numenor Benevolent Holdings
#13 - 2012-11-22 17:19:04 UTC
Stitcher wrote:
That's a bit shy of the ten trillion he asked for. I doubt he'll be very appreciative.

It cheered me up.

Liberating slaves wherever, whenever, and however I can.

Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#14 - 2012-11-22 17:20:49 UTC
Stitcher wrote:
That's a bit shy of the ten trillion he asked for. I doubt he'll be very appreciative.


10 quadrillion. 10 quadrillion ISK.

I also do not have enough money to give Lord Vaari a present.

However, I would like to wish him the greatest of years in this the year YC113.
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#15 - 2012-11-22 17:35:09 UTC  |  Edited by: Stitcher
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:
10 quadrillion. 10 quadrillion ISK.


...are you sure?

He asked for 10,000,000 million ISK. That's 10,000,000,000,000

now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it goes like this:

1,000 = a thousand
1,000,000 = a million
1,000,000,000 = a billion
1,000,000,000,000 = a trillion.
1,000,000,000,000,000 = a quadrillion

so, if he asked for 10,000,000,000,000 ISK, then he asked for ten trillion. Right?

EDIT:

I mean, looking at that system it's silly. if you're grouping the zeroes in 3s, then you'd expect one group to be mono, two to be bi, three to be tri, four to be quad and so on.

In which case 10^12 WOULD be a Quadrillion. But everything's shifted up a step by the presence of that "thousand" thing at the bottom there. very strange, now I look at it.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders

Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#16 - 2012-11-22 17:48:47 UTC
Stitcher wrote:
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:
10 quadrillion. 10 quadrillion ISK.


...are you sure?

He asked for 10,000,000 million ISK. That's 10,000,000,000,000

now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it goes like this:

1,000 = a thousand
1,000,000 = a million
1,000,000,000 = a billion
1,000,000,000,000 = a trillion.
1,000,000,000,000,000 = a quadrillion

so, if he asked for 10,000,000,000,000 ISK, then he asked for ten trillion. Right?

EDIT:

I mean, looking at that system it's silly. if you're grouping the zeroes in 3s, then you'd expect one group to be mono, two to be bi, three to be tri, four to be quad and so on.

In which case 10^12 WOULD be a Quadrillion. But everything's shifted up a step by the presence of that "thousand" thing at the bottom there. very strange, now I look at it.


We should all switch to base 3 and be done with it.
Vaari
Imperial Pharmacy
#17 - 2012-11-22 17:49:15 UTC
I, Lord Vaari, earl of Sosan VII, high father and despot of the Imperial Pharmacy, golden mountain, self proclaimed prophet, carrier of the Heaven's light, symbol of unchallenged victory, paragon of all virtues, hero of the Providence, archbishop of the Church of Providence, speaker of unquestioned truth, teacher of faith, great miner, skilled industrialist and many more impressive titles wish to clarify that minimum gift is ten million isk.

Fear the God and honor the Empress!

-House Valius battle shout.

Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#18 - 2012-11-22 17:56:12 UTC
Vaari wrote:
I, Lord Vaari, earl of Sosan VII, high father and despot of the Imperial Pharmacy, golden mountain, self proclaimed prophet, carrier of the Heaven's light, symbol of unchallenged victory, paragon of all virtues, hero of the Providence, archbishop of the Church of Providence, speaker of unquestioned truth, teacher of faith, great miner, skilled industrialist and many more impressive titles wish to clarify that minimum gift is ten million isk.


Well, that's more like it.

Lord Vaari, Earl of Sosan VII, high father and despot of the Imperial Pharmacy, Golden Mountain and other impressive titles, are hereby bequeathed one (1) fully fit executioner frigate from my private stock, located in the region of Placid, on behalf of the True Slave Foundations, for recognition of this truly momentous occasion.

I would move it to you, but unfortunately logistical problems (and the fact that I and all my friends are considered kill on site in your entire region) prevent it. I am afraid you will have to get the ship to yourself.

The contract will go up in a number of hours and will remain for a period of two weeks.
Gottii
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2012-11-22 19:57:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Gottii
Not nearly enough titles on those posters. One barely recognizes Vaari without them.
Vaari
Imperial Pharmacy
#20 - 2012-11-23 01:29:07 UTC
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:
Vaari wrote:
I, Lord Vaari, earl of Sosan VII, high father and despot of the Imperial Pharmacy, golden mountain, self proclaimed prophet, carrier of the Heaven's light, symbol of unchallenged victory, paragon of all virtues, hero of the Providence, archbishop of the Church of Providence, speaker of unquestioned truth, teacher of faith, great miner, skilled industrialist and many more impressive titles wish to clarify that minimum gift is ten million isk.


Well, that's more like it.

Lord Vaari, Earl of Sosan VII, high father and despot of the Imperial Pharmacy, Golden Mountain and other impressive titles, are hereby bequeathed one (1) fully fit executioner frigate from my private stock, located in the region of Placid, on behalf of the True Slave Foundations, for recognition of this truly momentous occasion.

I would move it to you, but unfortunately logistical problems (and the fact that I and all my friends are considered kill on site in your entire region) prevent it. I am afraid you will have to get the ship to yourself.

The contract will go up in a number of hours and will remain for a period of two weeks.


I wont accept your lowly gift. It is insulting.

Fear the God and honor the Empress!

-House Valius battle shout.

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