My EVE

2 amarrians and 1 minmatar share the same room in a passanger transporter. The ship being brand new, they are asked to remove their shoes.
The amarrians, feeling superior, order the minmatar to get them a cup of coffee and while the rather frightened minmatar is away they spit in his shoes.
He returns with the coffee, the amarrians drink it and everybody is happy for the rest of the flight.

When they arrive at their destination they put their shoes back on and the minmatar notices what the amarrians have done. He then whispers to one
"New Eden will be peaceful when amarrians will stop spitting in minmatar's shoes...and minmatars will stop spitting in amarrian's coffee"

An Ammarian, Gallentean and Caldari citizen are sitting at the bar. There is an uneasy peace as they sip their beer.
A Minmatar walks in, and sees the group. Sizing them up, he walks up to them, and aggressively asks the time.
The Amarrian replies, "Its time your kind gave up and accepted their role in the universe as slaves!"
The Gallentean counters with, "Its about time that the Minmatar joined forces with the Gallente and help restore peace and liberty across the universe".
The Caldari citizen checks his datapad and simply says "Its three O'Clock."

Hahaha was expecting the Caldari to say "it's time to make some money"

one of my old corpmates has this as his bio :

A Caldari man, a Gallente man and an Amarr woman are all on an Interbus shuttle. The pilot gets on the speaker and tells them "hi folks, just so you're aware, we're experiencing intermittent capacitor problems. The lights in the passenger compartment might fail briefly. Please don't be alarmed when it happens."

Sure enough a few minutes later, the lights go out. In the brief darkness, there's a smooching sound and a slap, and when the lights come back up the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw.

The Amarrian is thinking: "That Gallente creep must have tried to steal a kiss from me in the dark and kissed the Caldari accidentally. Serve him right!"

The Gallentean is thinking: "What the hell? I guess that Caldari must have kissed the Amarrian and she slapped me in the dark by mistake. Bastard!"

The Caldari is thinking: "This is great! I hope the lights go again so I can make that smooching sound and smack the Gallente again!"

--A Funny Man

Gallente pilot takes his Iteron Mark IV into the State War Academy on Uitra VI Moon 4 to get repairs. While he's waiting, he goes across the space station to get some ice cream. Gallente pilots love ice cream. When he returns, the mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal". "No" says the Gallente pilot,"That's just a little ice cream".

An Amarr is walking around in his pleasure garden, when he sees one of his Minmatar slaves standing around and occasionally bowing down. Being startled, he asks the slave "What are you doing?" The slave answers: "I am catching snails."
"Is that fun?" "I don´t know.... haven´t caught any yet... once i get down.... woooosh away they run..."


Some day on a planet in Amarr space a Minmatar was found drowned in a river, hung with chains and concrete at his feet.
Says the police officer: "Damned Minmatar, always stealing more than they can carry."

Q: What do rookie ships and Minmatar slaves have in common?
A: They're both great rides until someone sees you on one.

Awww, why the hate against us Minmatars? Are you jealous that we got the superior ships?

Anyways, here's a joke.

There is this Minmatar slave who had to take a dump during work, so he found a hidden corner and he pulled down his pants and did it. But right as he was done he heard the steps of the Amarrian slaver and quickly pulled up his pants and held his hands over the poo. The slaver saw him and asked: "What do you got there?"
The minmatar replied: "Its a quickrunner"
"A what?"
"A quickrunner, these creatures are so fast that only few people get to see them and even fewer will ever catch one."
"Give it to me!"
"Ok, but if I just move my hands it will be gone before you see it. So I will count down from 3 and then as I remove my hands you must leap towards and catch it... but you have to be very fast. OK?"
The slaver nod. The slave did the countdown and the slaver jumped towards the location and as the slave removed his hands the slaver grabbed the poo with full force. Then the slave replied:
"Aww damn, you were so slow it even managed to take a dump before it ran away."

An Amarr, Caldari, Minmatar and Gallentean are all sitting around arguing about the value of their most precious commodities.

"We have the finest slaves and the best energy weapons technology that money can buy," Says the Amarr.
"Your commodities mean nothing to us, Amarr," Says the Gallentean, "we have the best dancers and the toughest hulls."
The Caldari pipes up, "silly Gallente, without our technetium, you wouldn't have any hulls at all!!"

Throughout the argument, however, the Minmatar remains stubbornly silent. The Gallentean notices

"What say you, Minmatar? What do YOU have to offer the galaxy?"

"Well," he starts, "Without us, you wouldn't have slaves, or dancers, and what the hell is technetium? Who needs it?"

"We have duct tape."

So at a station bar a Gallente, a Matari and a Caldari are sitting around a boasting about their hunting. When the Gallente reveals that he bagged a a zip-deer the Matari asks, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
"Simple, see zip-deer tracks, follow zip-deer tracks, BOOM! shoot a zip-deer."
"Alright," says the Matari, "How about we meet back in a week and see who's the better hunter."
So a week goes by and all three are back in the bar and the first thing the Matari says, "I got a nu-bear."
The Caldari is a suspicious and he asks, "How could you get a nu-bear?"
"Simple," says the Matari, "See nu-bear tracks, follow nu-bear tracks, BOOM! shoot a nu-bear."
"Okay, give me a week and I'll do you one better," says the Caldari.
Well, one week goes by and the Gallente and the Matari are waiting for hours at the bar when the Caldari finally comes in. "What happened to you?" asks the Gallente?
"Oh, I just came from the cloning facility."
"Why?"
"See mag-train tracks, follow mag-train tracks, BOOM! hit by a mag-train."