Out of Pod Experience

After being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and I barely moved 20feet and managing to get to work, I then realize a couple blocks away there's the unmistakable sound of gunshots and the smell of burnt tires.

Ahhh, I felt like I was almost back in Venezuela, but then I realized I'm in Panama, and well, taking the safest route I decide to leave my office and go back home some hours later, when trying to tell my boss there was no point working as such Chaos was happening outside, as the streets were empty and lots of Police Vans where loudly blaring their sirens.

Seeing the ashes of burned tires and the discarded Red flags of the Ultra-Leftists in the streets I suddenly came to a realization, LatinAmerica is a strange land, so young, still trying to find its way.

All I could do was stare for a moment at the heavily armored police bike units buzzing in alternate streets, weapons out with helmets fully closed, "Linces" they are called, like the Lynx. Fast and deadly and ready to drop hot lead on anything they perceive to be a target.

But I am now in my home, a bit sad, but happy at the same time.

Such a tense calm in my house, no sound from the streets, and its Friday, where you can literally feel the windows tremble from the noise coming from the street, but now, just a quiet calm, reminded me of the days of The Caracazo in Venezuela, tense days where you could see the Army patrolling the streets, and hear sometimes gunshots in the distance, like a distorted sound from a bad dream you don't want to remember.

That eery, quiet calm you feel in the streets, you can never forget that, ever. Hopefully Panamanians will slowly begin to flood the street, and the calm will go away.

All my life I have lived surrounded by this tense calm, the hustle and bustle of daily life that can break any moment and then throngs of faceless people begin their almost instinctive dance of Chaos and Destruction, looting and pillaging as governments fall and then someone you know, is gone, missing, never to be discovered again or even mentioned. Always the friend of a friend, a nameless entity.

A very strange day indeed. I sometimes try to forget, but reality always comes back barging in. There is no way to run, nowhere to hide, you just make a stand and hope for the best.

Life is so short, so fragile. Nothing is immutable, everything is always in flux.

I feel numb, like dead inside, running is tiresome, I think I stopped running about 4 years ago.

Yet there is always someone missing, if not in Panama, in Venezuela, a friend lost here, killed by common crime, a former school classmates wife abducted with her infant baby, the trickle of blood of a recently slain customer in the Bakery store I used to go, and me worrying about not stepping with my car tires the blood, human blood, as the poor wife of the dead man cries silently, knowing there will never be justice, never will be resolution.

Kidnappings, brutal slayings and bullet shells near your house, seeing people being run over by criminals and the dull sound of a body being struck by a car. So many strange memories. And then, what I experienced has been "light"

Just sometimes, in days like these, I let it sink in. I have always been surrounded by this strange violence that I see as normal, but then I truly digest it, and see no real way out. Just live your life until it ends.

That is LatinAmerica, that is my birth country and my host country.

I have been surrounded by this thick black veil all my life and sometimes I wonder, when I see outside that some people pass their whole lives living in a world so different to mine, and yet, there are others in countries in Africa or Eastern Europe that have it way worst, yet they are so far, so alien to me.

People with similar experiences take it differently, some drink heavily, others just have more kids, others move abroad and pretend everything is ok, others never look back and try to forget ... Me? I just post it on a random internet forum, just trying to exorcize it in digital form as I just lay here, in my home, staring at the dirty flag of my country, the old one, the unofficial one, with only 7 stars and I remember, remember that point in time, when I was way happier and I took it for granted.

Monday will come soon, the tedium will sink in again and I will try to forget again, and keep on going, like most of my latinamerican brethren, from Mexico all the way down to Argentina. Just keep on going, be a bit paranoid, flee when you can and avoid the dark places where the very real human monsters lurk. Just keep on going.

Just live, and hope in not hoping.

TLDR: A small link to what happened today and it just scratches the surface . Strange day today, still digesting everything that happened, just wish there was more noise from the street.

Cheers! Fly Safe!

Lots of pics with details of the damages cropping up today ...

Shocking day yesterday ...

Always enjoy reading your posts even if the content isn't as enjoyable.

My parents are moving from Southern California to Panama in the near future. I figure it is a step up.

Thanks for the replies, they really warm my heart, as I grow old I tend to be more verbose, perhaps I will take a hint from you guys and begin writing for the local newspapers. There is one aimed for Venezuelans, which is based in Miami and targeted for all Venezuelans expats living across the American Continent, called "El Venezolano".

Thanks again!

Fly Safe!