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Crime & Punishment

 
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Empire Unsafe? New Friendly Service Available

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Author
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Taylis Jakkar
Metal Tactical
#1 - 2012-10-01 18:56:33 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Suvetar
Here in New Eden we are happy to introduce the Pod Express Shuttle Service.

A new, free, and completely hassle way to travel!!

You have been found running around in your pod, a fragile little thing, and so we wished to speed up your travel time as a free and gratuitous service while you enjoy your stay in high security space.

While we were at it we also thought your clone to be a rather old, defunct and outdated version and so, due to our affiliation with cloning services throughout New Eden we have allowed you the great satisfaction of a new and better clone.

Make sure to check out the gift shop on your way out. Have a nice day!

- Pod Express R Us
lanyaie
Nocturnal Romance
Cynosural Field Theory.
#2 - 2012-10-01 19:00:53 UTC  |  Edited by: lanyaie
2/10

Spaceprincess

People who put passwords on char bazaar Eveboards are the worst.
James 315
Experimental Fun Times Corp RELOADED
CODE.
#3 - 2012-10-01 19:04:05 UTC
Wow! Looks like you have a successful business model and are already off to a great start. Well done! Smile

MinerBumping.com
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#4 - 2012-10-01 19:07:10 UTC
So you posted to say that you killed a pod in highsec and to give yourself a pat on the back? :::golf clap::: There is no way your self esteem can be that low. Go outside once in a while and enjoy the sunshine, and for heavens sake, DONT POST on the forums if you happen to beat up a preschooler.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Taylis Jakkar
Metal Tactical
#5 - 2012-10-01 19:13:48 UTC
Thank you all for such kind words.


Snippets from our HAPPY customers


Re: Pod Express Fan Mail Request
From: Kei kiraa
Sent: 2012.09.06 15:43
To: Taylis Jakkar,

cool life bro'



Re: Pod Express Fan Mail Request
From: Mick Fightmaster
Sent: 2012.09.07 00:15
To: Taylis Jakkar,

Lol. This is classic. Good thing I got where I needed to go faster. Thanks Taylis! If you need reimbursement for your thrasher loss, let me know. I'd be happy to pay for it

Hope my 1mil pod was worth it. I know I loved it!

Hugs and kisses,
Mick






More to come later. This is a great service and is available ONLY in high security space for our most valued customers.
Paul Oliver
Doomheim
#6 - 2012-10-01 19:15:26 UTC
I foresee this topic going places.
Its good to be [Gallente](http://dl.eve-files.com/media/1209/QEQlJ.jpg).
Karl Hobb
Imperial Margarine
#7 - 2012-10-01 19:20:21 UTC
Popping auto-piloting pods is truly the apex of EVE gameplay, well done sir!

A professional astro-bastard was not available so they sent me.
TriadSte
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2012-10-01 19:32:02 UTC
Question though :

Your at -10 sec...How do you get these kills? from your KB there you work alot in 0.9 and 1.0 systems.

Don't the Navy chash the **** outta you? Do you simply warp to a station in the hope of seeing a pod?

Can an alt RR you with Navy damage?

Ive never done this so i'm intrigued.
Jake Warbird
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2012-10-01 19:38:42 UTC
Karl Hobb
Imperial Margarine
#10 - 2012-10-01 19:43:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Karl Hobb
TriadSte wrote:
Don't the Navy chash the **** outta you?

Last time I did this with the Navy chasing me: Warp to 10 back and forth between gates, sebos activated, find auto-piloting pod, lock, presto! Wait out GCC, do it again. Navy won't catch you if you warp align fast enough.

There are probably better ways of doing this, but that worked for me.

A professional astro-bastard was not available so they sent me.
James 315
Experimental Fun Times Corp RELOADED
CODE.
#11 - 2012-10-01 19:47:24 UTC
So when can we get a pod-scanning module that detects implants? Smile

MinerBumping.com
Taylis Jakkar
Metal Tactical
#12 - 2012-10-01 21:31:40 UTC
Happy Customer this one!!Big smile Someone got to remember to update his clone the hard way.

Re: Pod Express Fan Mail Request
From: Duvan Slabbert
Sent: 2012.09.08 01:36
To: Taylis Jakkar,

whom the **** do you think you are?

Pod kill
From: Duvan Slabbert
Sent: 2012.09.08 01:44
To: Taylis Jakkar,

You, me saterday 15:00 eve time in a frigate batle.

If i win, you give 200mill for the amout of days i lost on Surgical strike.
If you win, i will let this go.

Stop beying such a pusy a fight for real and not pod hunting fagot.



I love leaving work with a smile on my face dont you. He was really such a sweetheart you just have to get to know the inner goo. Some artillery really cracks through that tough exterior to that soft gushy inner goo quite well dontcha think.
James 315
Experimental Fun Times Corp RELOADED
CODE.
#13 - 2012-10-01 23:04:54 UTC
Taylis Jakkar wrote:
I love leaving work with a smile on my face dont you. He was really such a sweetheart you just have to get to know the inner goo. Some artillery really cracks through that tough exterior to that soft gushy inner goo quite well dontcha think.

You and your business have a bright future in this lovely game of EVE. Smile

MinerBumping.com
Liafcipe9000
Critically Preposterous
#14 - 2012-10-01 23:44:47 UTC
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
Alara IonStorm
#15 - 2012-10-02 01:28:48 UTC
Heh good for a laugh.

Still amazed that you were able to find 170 people who travel by pod when you get a free rookie ship just by docking and shuttles / 1 mil T1 Frigates are everywhere. Then again I am an EVE Optimist in a sea of cold water.

Sad thing is I bet very few actually learned from this. The only way the OP's "Business" stays afloat is by stupidity. SadLol
Abannan
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2012-10-02 01:48:29 UTC
Confirming you are the first person to ever do something like this and your origionality is an inspiration to us all
ISD Suvetar
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
ISD Alliance
#17 - 2012-10-02 02:50:27 UTC
Hi,

Please note that posting killboard links is not permitted, so I've taken the liberty of clearing them up in this thread.
I'd normally say 'Thanks and fly safe' but I suspect things are going to get colourful for you, so I'm going to say:

Thanks and be careful!*

*and follow the forum rules Pirate

[b]ISD Suvetar Captain/Commando Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs) Interstellar Services Department[/b]
Taylis Jakkar
Metal Tactical
#18 - 2012-10-02 03:19:52 UTC
ISD Suvetar wrote:
Hi,

Please note that posting killboard links is not permitted, so I've taken the liberty of clearing them up in this thread.
I'd normally say 'Thanks and fly safe' but I suspect things are going to get colourful for you, so I'm going to say:

Thanks and be careful!*

*and follow the forum rules Pirate

Aww that sucks sweetheart. To bad didnt actually know it was breaking the rules. Was hoping for some media coverage.

Is there anyway to link it at all? thanx
Taylis Jakkar
Metal Tactical
#19 - 2012-10-02 03:21:01 UTC
And a new satisfied customer.

Re: Pod Express Fan Mail Request
From: Darmanian3
Sent: 2012.10.02 03:16
To: Taylis Jakkar,

You will now be set KOS by my alliacne so i would stay out of providence



Guess my high sec business will stay WAY away from there then. Tee hee hee Such cuties that you kill.
Devil Dodger
Black-Watch Corporation
Malicious Mineral Hounds
#20 - 2012-10-02 04:04:00 UTC
Taylis Jakkar wrote:
And a new satisfied customer.

Re: Pod Express Fan Mail Request
From: Darmanian3
Sent: 2012.10.02 03:16
To: Taylis Jakkar,

You will now be set KOS by my alliacne so i would stay out of providence



Guess my high sec business will stay WAY away from there then. Tee hee hee Such cuties that you kill.


http://kos.cva-eve.org/?q=taylis+jakkar

Talking **** like usual.

Support my implant marketing campaign: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=1903853#post1903853 Our customer list: http://poachers.mindflood.org/
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