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The Jita Bank | The 1# Virtual Bank Of New Eden
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Florestan Bronstein
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#21 - 2011-10-14 07:40:05 UTC
so how do I go about getting a loan from this "bank"?
Companion Trollin
Doomheim
#22 - 2011-10-14 07:47:13 UTC
COMPANION TROLLIN
COMPANION TROLLIN IS THE 1# FORUM POASTER IN NEW EDEN. I OFFER OUTSTANDING FORUM POASTING. POASTS ARE AVAILABLE AS OFTEN AS I DRINK. UNLIKE OTHER TERRIBAED POASTERS COMPANION TROLLIN POASTS HAVE A KWALITY GUARANTEE. IF YOU ARE NOT 100% HAPPY WITH MY POASTING YOU CAN SIMPLY APPLY FOR ANY TIME SPENT READING MY POASTS TO BE RETURNED TO YOU (a 1B isk/minute processing fee applies to any refund requested, to be paid in advance.) MY READERSHIP IS GROWING AND IT IS TIME YOU SECURE YOUR PLACE IN A GROWING READERSHIP BASE.

FOUNDED BY COMPANION TROLLIN COMPANION TROLLIN POASTS ARE A SERVICE PRIMARILY DESIGNED FOR THOSE WHO WISH A MAXIMUM ENTERTAINMENT VALUE FROM THEIR FORUM READING TIME. THE FIRST QUESTION ANY FORA WHORA MIGHT ASK IS WHY ARE WE DOIGN THIS THE TEAM HERE AT COMPANION TROLLIN POASTING INC FOUNDED THE SERVICE IN A WAY WHICH ENTERTAINS BOTH US AND OUR CUSTOMERS. WE STARTED UP WITH ABSOLUTELY NO POASTING CRED WHICH REDUCES TEH RISK FOR OUR READERS. THIS LACK OF FORUM CRED WILL BE USED TO ENTERTAIN OTHER RANDOM ******* WHO HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO WITH THEIR TIME. THE TIME ANY OF MY CLIENTS SPEND READING MY **** POASTS WILL BE TALLIED BY A DRUNK, CONSTIPATED, ELEPHANT.

INTEREST RATES
SPENDING ANY TIEM READING MY SHIPTOASTING IS RECORDED BY OUR IRREGULAR ELEPHANT AND WILL BE CREDITED BACK TO YOU, ANALLY, BY OUR DRUNK ELEPHANT WHILE YOU SLEEP. A FREE BALL GAG IS INCLUDED WITH THE ELEPHANTS SEXUAL SERVICES SO AS TO NOT DISTURB YOUR HOUSEMATES. YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO READ MY POASTS BUT OUR ELEPHANT INSISTS ON PENETRATING YOU IN YOUR SLEEP - IF AT ANY TIME YOU ARE UNSATISFIED BY OUR ELEPHANT'S SERVICES WE WILL SEND THE ELEPHANT OUT FOR A SECOND SESSION AT NO EXTRA CHARGE.
Florestan Bronstein
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#23 - 2011-10-14 08:18:02 UTC  |  Edited by: Florestan Bronstein
you are infringing on Mintrolio™ IP.
Chevalleis
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#24 - 2011-10-14 10:14:34 UTC
I sent you 5000 ISK, where is my mail?
Efraya
V0LTA
OnlyFleets.
#25 - 2011-10-14 10:22:30 UTC
Hey guys, they are setting up a virtual bank in this thread, didn't someone already try this out in another thread? I can't remember.

[b][center]WSpace; Dead space.[/center] [center]Lady Spank for forum mod[/center][/b]
flakeys
Doomheim
#26 - 2011-10-14 12:43:41 UTC  |  Edited by: flakeys
Where can i order one of those elephants?


NOT for me offcourse , lol as if i was gay lol , no for uhm .... someone i know somewhere ....

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
Chevalleis
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#27 - 2011-10-14 13:38:35 UTC
Don't worry, nobody knows of your secret.
Prencleeve Grothsmore
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#28 - 2011-10-14 15:22:18 UTC
Chevalleis wrote:
I sent you 5000 ISK, where is my mail?


I understand this. CPP is currently under-going heavy pressure on its API databases. This could mean a short-delay. I think you should of received the mail by now. Please mail me in-game if you are experiencing further issues. To all posts which question the credibility of this Bank, I have one statement to say "We will still be handing out interest in the year 2014". That statement I stand by. So please, if you have any other accusations to make, back it up with evidence not theory.

http://adf.ly/3RiOg The Warp Bubble Blog I do things differently.
Prencleeve Grothsmore
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#29 - 2011-10-14 15:24:41 UTC
UPDATE: We are currently in talks of purchasing the TheJitaBank.com domain. We would of this already, however currently somebody else owns the domain. The owner of the .com domain is happy to sell us the domain, but until then the .tk domain is a temporary solution for our clients. If you are getting any issues, then feel free to send me an Eve Mail. Trolls need not apply.

http://adf.ly/3RiOg The Warp Bubble Blog I do things differently.
Zeta Zhul
Preemptive Paranoia
#30 - 2011-10-14 16:00:44 UTC
I would like to announce the formation of a new new new Eve bank .... Zeta Bank!

We pay ungodly amounts of interest on all deposits!* How much? Ungodly!*

I will buy a new account and create a new character specifically for this bank!

The character will be named "Ivan William Ripoff". Don't spare the time to consider the initials or shortened versions of the name!

Did I mention the ungodly amounts of interest?*












* interest payable only on funds held for a full month. Any Acts of God, interruptions in service or escape by the founder of this bank from potential creditors that occurs prior to a full month will null and void any interest owed. Big smile
Prencleeve Grothsmore
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#31 - 2011-10-14 16:02:51 UTC
Zeta Zhul wrote:
I would like to announce the formation of a new new new Eve bank .... Zeta Bank!

We pay ungodly amounts of interest on all deposits!* How much? Ungodly!*

I will buy a new account and create a new character specifically for this bank!

The character will be named "Ivan William Ripoff". Don't spare the time to consider the initials or shortened versions of the name!

Did I mention the ungodly amounts of interest?*












* interest payable only on funds held for a full month. Any Acts of God, interruptions in service or escape by the founder of this bank from potential creditors that occurs prior to a full month will null and void any interest owed. Big smile


Please bring your asshatery somewhere else. This thread was created to advertise a perfectly legitimate Eve Online business. I am here to prove anybody who thinks otherwise wrong.

http://adf.ly/3RiOg The Warp Bubble Blog I do things differently.
Prencleeve Grothsmore
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#32 - 2011-10-14 16:04:08 UTC
Zeta Zhul wrote:
I would like to announce the formation of a new new new Eve bank .... Zeta Bank!

We pay ungodly amounts of interest on all deposits!* How much? Ungodly!*

I will buy a new account and create a new character specifically for this bank!

The character will be named "Ivan William Ripoff". Don't spare the time to consider the initials or shortened versions of the name!

Did I mention the ungodly amounts of interest?*












* interest payable only on funds held for a full month. Any Acts of God, interruptions in service or escape by the founder of this bank from potential creditors that occurs prior to a full month will null and void any interest owed. Big smile


Please bring your asshatery somewhere else. This thread was created to advertise a perfectly legitimate Eve Online business. I am here to prove anybody who thinks otherwise wrong.

http://adf.ly/3RiOg The Warp Bubble Blog I do things differently.
Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#33 - 2011-10-14 16:05:14 UTC
the proof:

*crickets chirping*

Head of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal Pubbie Management and Exploitation Division.
Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#34 - 2011-10-14 16:07:01 UTC
i am a fantasitically rich trader in eve online, and my immense knowledge of the markets that gave me that wealth leads me to conclude that offering 20% monthly interest rates will not be laughed off as a the most obvious scam ever

somehow, i do not see the contradiction here

Head of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal Pubbie Management and Exploitation Division.
Prencleeve Grothsmore
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#35 - 2011-10-14 16:08:48 UTC
Weaselior wrote:
i am a fantasitically rich trader in eve online, and my immense knowledge of the markets that gave me that wealth leads me to conclude that offering 20% monthly interest rates will not be laughed off as a the most obvious scam ever

somehow, i do not see the contradiction here


It is human nature to be afraid of things that are different, these interest rates may seem high compared to standard rates, however we are 110% certain that these rates are sustainable for both ourselves and our clients.

http://adf.ly/3RiOg The Warp Bubble Blog I do things differently.
Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#36 - 2011-10-14 16:17:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Weaselior
Prencleeve Grothsmore wrote:
Weaselior wrote:
i am a fantasitically rich trader in eve online, and my immense knowledge of the markets that gave me that wealth leads me to conclude that offering 20% monthly interest rates will not be laughed off as a the most obvious scam ever

somehow, i do not see the contradiction here


It is human nature to be afraid of things that are different, these interest rates may seem high compared to standard rates, however we are 110% certain that these rates are sustainable for both ourselves and our clients.


the only activity that possibly supports those interest rates would be "well, I have a tech moon but can't afford a tower" and we'd siege the tower the instant we found it so that's not sustainable

there are no other activities in eve that support a garunteed 20% (actually, you need to be having significantly more profits than 20% to make it worth leveraging with other people's money) that would support your claimed 4.5t, let alone more

you're not even coming up with believable lies, you got greedy

Head of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal Pubbie Management and Exploitation Division.
Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#37 - 2011-10-14 16:18:48 UTC
not to mention with 4.5t you'd have towered every tech moon in the game already

Head of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal Pubbie Management and Exploitation Division.
Prencleeve Grothsmore
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#38 - 2011-10-14 16:21:28 UTC
Weaselior wrote:
Prencleeve Grothsmore wrote:
Weaselior wrote:
i am a fantasitically rich trader in eve online, and my immense knowledge of the markets that gave me that wealth leads me to conclude that offering 20% monthly interest rates will not be laughed off as a the most obvious scam ever

somehow, i do not see the contradiction here


It is human nature to be afraid of things that are different, these interest rates may seem high compared to standard rates, however we are 110% certain that these rates are sustainable for both ourselves and our clients.


the only activity that possibly supports those interest rates would be "well, I have a tech moon but can't afford a tower" and we'd siege the tower the instant we found it so that's not sustainable

there are no other activities in eve that support a garunteed 20% (actually, you need to be having significantly more profits than 20% to make it worth leveraging with other people's money) that would support your claimed 4.5t, let alone more

you're not even coming up with believable lies, you got greedy


Indeed, a single activity cannot support those interest rates. As an investor, trader and banker, I make my profits taking advantage of the markets. I have contacts who have much larger quantities of ISK that 4.5 Trillion. This number is actually quite low considering the predicted client-base we may be receiving. After we've gained trust over the community, we will be launching our loan service (Collateral included of course) which we predict will fund our interest rates and turn over profit.

http://adf.ly/3RiOg The Warp Bubble Blog I do things differently.
Luxi Daphiti
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#39 - 2011-10-14 16:23:25 UTC
Prencleeve Grothsmore wrote:
So please, if you have any other accusations to make, back it up with evidence not theory.

I think the evidence is clear to all. You have a history of scamming and have no evidence to prove you posses the funds that you claim to. Nor do you even have a plan on how you are going to make the money to pay this interest? Yes you have the funds there, but I can't imagine you're going to be so generous as to essentially give away 4.5 trillion. I imagine that is more of a buffer in case anything goes wrong.

However, we could correct this simply and throw all of our objections out of the window. EVE mail me your API key and i'll do the check myself - if everything checks out you'll have a huge boost in credibility. And, if this is a legitimate offering, you have nothing to loose by doing so.

Problem is, right now there is nothing to back up anything you've said. And yes, I could invest however many billions into your bank, but as you have no evidence to prove that you're nothing more then a scam why would I?
Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#40 - 2011-10-14 16:24:54 UTC
Prencleeve Grothsmore wrote:

Indeed, a single activity cannot support those interest rates. As an investor, trader and banker, I make my profits taking advantage of the markets. I have contacts who have much larger quantities of ISK that 4.5 Trillion. This number is actually quite low considering the predicted client-base we may be receiving. After we've gained trust over the community, we will be launching our loan service (Collateral included of course) which we predict will fund our interest rates and turn over profit.


oh come on now you don't even know enough about what you're talking about to make this sound coherent instead of stringing together random buzzwords

you don't have 4.5 trillion that you can make greater than 20% interest monthly on because that amount is so insanely out of whack with normal methods you'd have flooded every single market that currently had inefficencies high enough to support it

Head of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal Pubbie Management and Exploitation Division.