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Exporting 3D Models - A Call for a New Tutorial
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Qanthelas
Kockegg Industries
#1 - 2012-08-21 15:22:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Qanthelas
tl;dr I would love a new tutorial for exporting EVE ships and avatars in to popular tools like Blender or 3DS Max (for 3D) and Gimp or Photoshop (for images.)

I'm trying to provide links to most of what I'm talking about so be sure to click on them!

There are several threads and resources out there for bringing EVE stuff out of EVE and in to other programs where you can mess with it, pose it, etc. The problem I'm finding is that these resources are old and no longer fully function. Recent changes to ships (like going V3) and avatars in addition to changes to how EVE stores its information client-side and what 'hooks' EVE will allow to run leave me with having to fumble along and guess at which things will make these old resources still useful.

For example, the fantastic guides for bringing Ships or Characters into the Unreal UDK are not very old but yet refer to file structures within the .stuff files that have been tweaked and to plugins that have been replaced with newer ones. The old TriExporter tool still works (sort of) but the client-side data keeps changing and this tool hasn't really been updated in a while. EVE Uni teaches a class on the ship models but that still runs in to the issue of changes in how CCP stores ship model data client-side.

A breakthrough idea to try a new tool like 3D Ripper DXseems perfect but apparently newer changes to EVE make this no longer work. (In my own tests with 3D Ripper DX, the launcher can open the EVE client but the "Ready to capture" text never shows up and if I try to capture anyways nothing ends up in my save folders.) CCP does something helpful like enable green backgrounds in portrait mode but yet apparently (accidentally?) clamped down on one of the main ways to export those portraits to a 3D editing program.

Other posts about this issue of outdated resources are generally answered by people who are very good at what they do but are not much help to noobs like me or they simply refer the OP back to outdated resources. (Or take personal jabs at the OP - this is EVE, after all.)

I would love for this thread to be a place where machinima creators, Photoshopers, digital choreographers, custom paintjob artists, and the like could share what works and what doesn't so we can all find ways to create our art that still work as CCP changes things around and our software tools (from Gimp to Blender to Photoshop to 3ds Max and beyond) advance and change.

First off, the exporting. How can we extract ship models from the .stuff files and load them in to Gimp/Photoshop and/or to Belnder/3ds Max/Maya? What about for avatars and CQs? Then comes the importing. What are the easiest ways to put all the textures, etc. back on to fully reconstruct these EVE models in our favorite programs? Finally comes the tweaking. How can we have fun with backgrounds, lighting, and custom paint jobs? How can we pose and bend our 3D models?

Please feel free to share not only what works now but also what used to work but no longer does or what you have tried but can't get to work. There's something to be learned from failed attempts.

As a final note, if you feel the need to flame or troll, feel free - this is EVE, after all - but please don't get in the way of the actual work going on ;)

To get us started, it looks like Roc has been going down this same rabbit hole and he's got some resources pulled together.
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#2 - 2012-08-21 16:08:13 UTC
Hmm,

Isn't half the fun figuring it all out?

two cents - the Trinity renderer and the entire res folder need to be considered the same thing, ie; you can't just export a ship model and expect the textures to conform, because they are linked to high level shader language.

You can never, ever get it *perfect*, so just read as much as you can and invite others to chime in (like you are doing) and offer help when possible.

It would be nice if CCP offered some help here, but I'm sure they have more pressing matters, like DUST514 going nuclear.

AK

This space for rent.
Qanthelas
Kockegg Industries
#3 - 2012-08-21 22:18:48 UTC
Hey AlleyKat! I've seen your posts around and it looks like you're one of the people who knows how to make 3D modeling work :)

You have a point, some of the fun is in the learning process, but for me the real fun is when I get to start making hilarious things (from MLP paintjobs to TwoStep and Mittens doing the Miku Miku Dance) and for that I need to get the models sorted out ;)

I have no idea what you are refering to with 'the Trinity renderer' - is your point that exporting ship models is a bit more than just exporting their various parts because there are also higher level things that get added/tweaked?

I know you have posted to help a lot of people - would you be willing to help compile some of that wisdom (and update it for things like the V3 changes) here in this thread?
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#4 - 2012-08-22 00:02:43 UTC
Qanthelas wrote:
Hey AlleyKat! I've seen your posts around and it looks like you're one of the people who knows how to make 3D modeling work :)

You have a point, some of the fun is in the learning process, but for me the real fun is when I get to start making hilarious things (from MLP paintjobs to TwoStep and Mittens doing the Miku Miku Dance) and for that I need to get the models sorted out ;)

I have no idea what you are refering to with 'the Trinity renderer' - is your point that exporting ship models is a bit more than just exporting their various parts because there are also higher level things that get added/tweaked?

I know you have posted to help a lot of people - would you be willing to help compile some of that wisdom (and update it for things like the V3 changes) here in this thread?


Trinity is the name of the render/game engine (or used to be) that runs EVE (models were originally called 'tri' models), everything you see is operated from within it.

HLSL is the 'stuff' that deals with pixel shaders, vertex shaders and geometry shaders with DirectX 3d 'stuff'.

If you look at any ship, just having the model and the textures is not enough.

You need to know the precise coloring of everything, plus you need the reflections, masks, sub masks, multi-layered textures, normal maps, environment maps...then you need to light it correctly, or just put it into a lit environment where everything looks correct...I mean the list is almost endless, so it becomes a balance between getting it 80% correct and being happy with it, or spending the next few years trying to improve a method which will never have everything it needs to be 90% correct - and even then you are still missing 10%.

I'm happy to keep toying with this stuff every once in a while, but really, if you want the game graphics, load the game.

There have been many very impressive tries over the years, most recently with that flawed video, but hey, only you can decide whether it's worth expending the time over.

Lest us not forget that 'future proof' (UDK) was the result of endless hours over several months by someone who was using it for their college project and had a ton of onsite help (I believe that person used it as part of their thesis).

CCP have really started locking down the game client of late, which is why triexporter had a bump in the road with the 'black' files replacing the txt red files (these files before red were called blue files, I guess CCP like colors in their nomenclature.)

There is also the issue of decompiling, as this is against EULA and therefore there are limitations on what we can and should see - so what you've got is parsing, meaning changing something from one state to another to determine some form of understanding as to what it actually means.

With the red txt files, this was not too hard to work out because they were written in english, but took some time to actually work out what was what, and that just came in time through experimentation and perseverance.

Although a lot of fisting waving and pointing goes on, you need to understand CCP's position on this: they have no intention to unlock their source code, or make anything to do with 'this' easy for anyone, because if any of that happened they perceive that in part the way they perceive security of the game code and any potential exploits, hacks, cheats, w/e.

I begrudgingly agree with their stance...and understand it.

I only hope that DUST becomes a superb success and they make lots of money, so they can hire more people to create more tools and maybe, just maybe, a 'trinitylite' for the good people of the EVE Online community, so we can make videos of Goonswarm leaders getting drunk in game - and dressed in a pink outfit with feathers on it.

All without any violations.

AK

This space for rent.
Clarence Sunyang
Kung Fu Roguer
#5 - 2012-08-25 04:13:56 UTC
AlleyKat wrote:
[quote=Qanthelas]

Trinity is the name of the render/game engine (or used to be) that runs EVE (models were originally called 'tri' models), everything you see is operated from within it.

HLSL is the 'stuff' that deals with pixel shaders, vertex shaders and geometry shaders with DirectX 3d 'stuff'.

If you look at any ship, just having the model and the textures is not enough.

You need to know the precise coloring of everything, plus you need the reflections, masks, sub masks, multi-layered textures, normal maps, environment maps...then you need to light it correctly, or just put it into a lit environment where everything looks correct...I mean the list is almost endless, so it becomes a balance between getting it 80% correct and being happy with it, or spending the next few years trying to improve a method which will never have everything it needs to be 90% correct - and even then you are still missing 10%.

I'm happy to keep toying with this stuff every once in a while, but really, if you want the game graphics, load the game.

There have been many very impressive tries over the years, most recently with that flawed video, but hey, only you can decide whether it's worth expending the time over.

Lest us not forget that 'future proof' (UDK) was the result of endless hours over several months by someone who was using it for their college project and had a ton of onsite help (I believe that person used it as part of their thesis).

CCP have really started locking down the game client of late, which is why triexporter had a bump in the road with the 'black' files replacing the txt red files (these files before red were called blue files, I guess CCP like colors in their nomenclature.)

There is also the issue of decompiling, as this is against EULA and therefore there are limitations on what we can and should see - so what you've got is parsing, meaning changing something from one state to another to determine some form of understanding as to what it actually means.

With the red txt files, this was not too hard to work out because they were written in english, but took some time to actually work out what was what, and that just came in time through experimentation and perseverance.

Although a lot of fisting waving and pointing goes on, you need to understand CCP's position on this: they have no intention to unlock their source code, or make anything to do with 'this' easy for anyone, because if any of that happened they perceive that in part the way they perceive security of the game code and any potential exploits, hacks, cheats, w/e.

I begrudgingly agree with their stance...and understand it.

I only hope that DUST becomes a superb success and they make lots of money, so they can hire more people to create more tools and maybe, just maybe, a 'trinitylite' for the good people of the EVE Online community, so we can make videos of Goonswarm leaders getting drunk in game - and dressed in a pink outfit with feathers on it.

All without any violations.

AK


Hello AlleyKat, I am planning to do a EVE short video covering the Thukker Tribe's feat in the Empyrean Age, and I have the tools ready, the scenes pictured all over my head, but I got stucked with the .black file. It seems all the settings and values stuff have been coded, and I didn't find any tutorials and information on this when I was googling. So would you help me on this? I really need it, and you seem to be a really nice person.

And did CCP do this because of the V3 maps? The graphic upgrade so that they need a more sophisticated file system? I am kinda worried if CCP don't wanna us to use their models and texures anymore so they banned it through coding.
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#6 - 2012-08-25 10:57:23 UTC
Clarence Sunyang wrote:
Hello AlleyKat,

I am planning to do a EVE short video covering the Thukker Tribe's feat in the Empyrean Age, and I have the tools ready, the scenes pictured all over my head, but I got stucked with the .black file. It seems all the settings and values stuff have been coded, and I didn't find any tutorials and information on this when I was googling. So would you help me on this? I really need it, and you seem to be a really nice person.

And did CCP do this because of the V3 maps? The graphic upgrade so that they need a more sophisticated file system? I am kinda worried if CCP don't wanna us to use their models and textures anymore so they banned it through coding.


I don't have the current values for any of the coloring that matches with current models and textures - only thing that might be of interest would be the 32 bit colors of the lights, as these seem to have remained the same.

The black files have not been parsed...yet.

Patience.

As for what and why CCP changed the files, it does seem to link into new V3 stuff, but anything more is guesswork.

CCP have no issues with anyone using the models and textures, you just need to state where they came from and who owns the copyright.

I'd be interested in looking at any storyboards/scripts though, be happy to pitch in.

AK

This space for rent.
Clarence Sunyang
Kung Fu Roguer
#7 - 2012-08-26 07:09:27 UTC
AlleyKat wrote:


I don't have the current values for any of the coloring that matches with current models and textures - only thing that might be of interest would be the 32 bit colors of the lights, as these seem to have remained the same.

The black files have not been parsed...yet.

Patience.

As for what and why CCP changed the files, it does seem to link into new V3 stuff, but anything more is guesswork.

CCP have no issues with anyone using the models and textures, you just need to state where they came from and who owns the copyright.

I'd be interested in looking at any storyboards/scripts though, be happy to pitch in.

AK


Hello AlleyKat, thanks for replying so quickly, I thought I would take days before you check the Forum. And how do you know when someone has quoted you on a forum? I logged in and there isn't any message popped out, I didn't know you replied until I checked this specific thread. So where is that bottom?

And about the values, I checked my previous exported files, that was done two months ago but then I was just getting that idea, and I wanna give it a try. However back then I was in a internship firm which has limited Internet Connection, so I couldn't gather much information, like I can't view Youtube for a tutorial because all video links are banned.
Now I am sure I wanna do this, although it's gonna be tough considering I don't have much knowledge on CG yet( I watch free tutorials and google most of the time for studying, my college major is software engineering which is totally different, but now I am applying for MFA in computer animation in US).

So, this is the project I wanna do most, I got it all over my head, and when I came up with it, I got touched even imagining the scenes and stuff. So I wanna this to be my portfolio for the application ( Is this allowed? Using a company's models and textures for personal work to get appreciated and enrolled?)

And the storyboards, have you seen the StarTrek 2009's trailer, featured with The Freedom Fighters by Two Steps From Hell, it is epic and touching at the same time and that The Freedom Fighters is so fitted for an epic starship conflict. SO I think it would be perfect to feature it with the Thukker Tribe's feat in the Empyrean Age, which is a brave operation, to strike at the heart of CONCORD and AMARR just to save their lost and slaved brethren.

So, the first 48 seconds of Freedom Fighters( the song) will be the overlook of Thukker Tribe's elder fleet, and as the music build up, the fleet is on the move, they aim at a certain direction( Although in game you don't have to align your ship to the destination for cyno jump, but it would look more appealing doing so, just like the Amarr cyno jump scene in CCP's trailer CDIA Files: Pilot Orientation, about 30s in that trailer.), and then they glow in red just like that CCP's trailer, and jump as the music hit the first climax. And I imagine as it hit the first point of the climax, there will be a scene of Thukker ships just like when Enterprise travels through the hyper space and come out in the middle of a gun fire. And then, in that climax, the Thukker ships will be engaging the Amarr ships guarding that planet and they will be deploying the crafts for ground battles and rescue. This period is about from 48 sec to 1m 20sec.

Then comes a relative soft period of the music, the chorus rises and there is this feelings of epic but also some tragic in it. SO, this period will be those crafts( I don't know how to call it, you know, the type of vessels for ground deployment, I am not a native English Speaker, so you have to bear me with that sometimes.) will travels down to the planet surface, the scenes of this should be shaky like those shuttles are going through turbulence and atmosphere friction, and as it hit the ground, the slaved of Minimatar race are running to the landing location, and the jet takes off, soaring to the sky with dazzling speed as the music hit the second climax( around 1m 36sec). In this scene I imagined as this shuttle travels through the air, there will be gun fire around it trying to shoot it down and it maneuvered to avoid it, to extrude this courage of saving one's kind even at tremendous risks. And as it goes through the atmosphere into the space, there is going to be an even hostile environment, the background is filled with debris and counter fires of both side's massive fleet. And because this last part is with chorus, with the feeling of tragic and heroic. The scene will be concentrating on Elder fleet ships get destroyed and they fought back valiantly.

But the big finish is still the Amarr fleet retreat, Jamyl Sarum jumps into the battlefield and released that deadly super weapon, wipe out this entire fleet and making this a complete heroic but tragic action of Minimatar people.

There are many more details I would like to share, but that's too long. But I can assure you I have every seconds of the music pictured, I know what I am doing.

So, how do you see this, I kinda really like this idea, and I wouldn't get any other great ideas until this is done. And what does pitch in mean? Sometimes I just understand the slang, sorry.
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#8 - 2012-08-26 11:37:30 UTC
Pitch in (phrasal verb):

To join forces with others; help or cooperate.

Kinda similar to a post in EVE Fiction, I recommend using Adobe Story:

https://story.adobe.com/en-us/index.html

This will get you the chance to write the script and because of the meta data of Story, you can export it into other Adobe Apps, to help with story-boarding or, even final editing/post-production.

The is very handy (and free) allowing you to write out the script and get it down on 'paper'.

As you're going to be studying at Master of Fine Arts level for Computer Animation, you will come across the topic of scripts and storyboards moving forward, as these would come under the topic of 'organisation and collaboration'. Not sure if your MFA course will cover the economics of projects, but I'm sure you'll understand that communication is key in projects, which something like Adobe Story has attempted to meet the demands of.

I actually use a mix of Adobe Story and Final Draft partially because I like the flexibility of standalone apps and online apps (in the case of Adobe Story).

If you want me to review some creative writing, it is best to be in script format as you are planning to produce something visual, meaning it will need a script, or storyboard.

If you do not have experience of the script format, I have a few links below from doing web searches:

Simply Scripts
Script Frenzy
FilmScriptWriting
MovieOutlineGuide

If you have software though, the links will just tell you what software will do automatically for you, but it's interesting reading anyway.

Once you got a script together, please drop it by me and I'd be happy to review it.

Freedom Fighters? That's a little overused now - I think I heard that on a beer commercial once. Try coming up with original choices, and if you want emotion and/or something uplifting and evocative, there is a lot of classical pieces that could fit.

AK

This space for rent.
Clarence Sunyang
Kung Fu Roguer
#9 - 2012-08-26 14:24:26 UTC  |  Edited by: Clarence Sunyang
Hello, dude, many thanks for your kind replies, and could you tell me where is the " reply to you" bottom, so I don't have to quote you every time, I saw there is a reply bottom, but I think that's for reply to the host of this topic, which isn't you.

And thanks for opening a window for me, bro. I always know there is such a thing as storyboard, but never actually meet it, until now. But despite its importance and usefulness, I wouldn't be using it right now, for two reasons:

First, it's gonna take too long, the last little reply I did to you took me about an hour, and it only covered a few keys scenes of that video, if I am gonna write every single scenes down with its details like what's its purpose, how is it composed and how the camera moves .etc, then that would take too long.

And the second reason is why should I spend so much time into a personal work of mine, I am not pulling sponsors, I am not communicating my ideas to my co-workers so we can do a collaborative work. This is me working alone, and the only result it does is that a trying to convince you that this is a good idea.

So, appreciate your information on storyboard, I will definitely be using it in the future, but not now.

And about the background music, the Freedom Fighters, I don't know about your country, but in mine( China), epic hollywood soundtrack is really rare to hear, only people like me who likes CG would appreciate this kind of stuff. So this caused me to think that using the Freedom Fighters would be as epic as it sounds.

But what if it's over used in America( I suppose you are in there), then it's gonna be a different story. However, I am not planning to change that just because it's over used. The whole idea of Thukker Tribe rescuing Minimatar slaves is a heroic but tragic story( I don't know how to describe it in English, when I wanna translation on that Chinese word, it gives me this heroic but tragic, but I didn't mean this operation is tragedy, it's more like bravery in the face of certain death).

I think this Thukker Tribe thing and the Freedom Fighters fit perfectly together, and they indeed are freedom fighters 'cause they saved a lot of their enslaved people in that action. I don't which other sound track can fit seamlessly. But I am open to suggestion, if you got any other great sound track albums or artist or specific sound track that I should check out, tell me and I'll go see if they can be a better choice. Right now, since Freedom Fighters is the one from what I know, and I don't have time for spending to find a substitute, so I'll settle for this one.
Septacore
Bazzed On True Story
#10 - 2012-08-26 16:38:43 UTC
managed to get an 3d Archon object viewable in canvas with rotation

http://dl.eve-files.com/media/1208/archon.png
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#11 - 2012-08-26 18:58:27 UTC
Clarence Sunyang wrote:
stuff


Script>>Storyboard>>film

Follow this.

I say it to help you, not hinder you.

This is how films/tv/animation is done, even more so on animation then anything else.

Think and understand why that is.

You task ahead is more complex and time consuming than you understand.

AK

This space for rent.
Cyerus
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#12 - 2012-08-26 22:29:29 UTC
Isn't it possible to use the models used on the website (pre-textured) instead of trying to export them from the EVE client?
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#13 - 2012-08-27 07:32:09 UTC
Cyerus wrote:
Isn't it possible to use the models used on the website (pre-textured) instead of trying to export them from the EVE client?


which/what/where models?

This space for rent.
Clarence Sunyang
Kung Fu Roguer
#14 - 2012-08-27 15:20:35 UTC
AlleyKat wrote:
Clarence Sunyang wrote:
stuff


Script>>Storyboard>>film

Follow this.

I say it to help you, not hinder you.

This is how films/tv/animation is done, even more so on animation then anything else.

Think and understand why that is.

You task ahead is more complex and time consuming than you understand.

AK


Ok, I'll try to finish it tomorrow night. I just went to watch the Dark Knight Rise today. Bane...

And last night when I was trying to find the older EVE client, which still has the .red file in May 22th upgrade. Instead of finding an proper older client, I learn that somebody in TriExporter tread has cracked the .black file. Although it isn't perfect by now, but it do render some results, and the values are pretty much all readable. I remember you replied in that thread too. I was planning to compare that parsed .black file with .red file to see how I should use that values, because there are tutorials on .red files.

But I should just finish that storyboard for you first, see you tomorrow. I got GRE to prepare in the day, so I wouldn't be able to do that until tomorrow night.
Clarence Sunyang
Kung Fu Roguer
#15 - 2012-08-27 15:22:19 UTC
AlleyKat wrote:
Cyerus wrote:
Isn't it possible to use the models used on the website (pre-textured) instead of trying to export them from the EVE client?


which/what/where models?


The one on EVEonline official website? There are rendered and rotatable ship reviews there, are those data extractable?
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#16 - 2012-08-27 19:39:12 UTC
Clarence Sunyang wrote:

The one on EVEonline official website? There are rendered and rotatable ship reviews there, are those data extractable?


where?

never seem them before...must be something I clicked past...but where are they?

This space for rent.
Hotaru Tsubaki
Noob Mercs
Monkeys with Guns.
#17 - 2012-08-27 20:37:04 UTC
http://www.eveonline.com/universe/spaceships/

only problem is that not all ships are there yet
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#18 - 2012-08-28 10:27:01 UTC
Hotaru Tsubaki wrote:
http://www.eveonline.com/universe/spaceships/

only problem is that not all ships are there yet


Thx

This space for rent.
Clarence Sunyang
Kung Fu Roguer
#19 - 2012-08-31 07:49:29 UTC
AlleyKat wrote:
Pitch in (phrasal verb):

To join forces with others; help or cooperate.

Kinda similar to a post in EVE Fiction, I recommend using Adobe Story:

https://story.adobe.com/en-us/index.html

This will get you the chance to write the script and because of the meta data of Story, you can export it into other Adobe Apps, to help with story-boarding or, even final editing/post-production.

The is very handy (and free) allowing you to write out the script and get it down on 'paper'.

As you're going to be studying at Master of Fine Arts level for Computer Animation, you will come across the topic of scripts and storyboards moving forward, as these would come under the topic of 'organisation and collaboration'. Not sure if your MFA course will cover the economics of projects, but I'm sure you'll understand that communication is key in projects, which something like Adobe Story has attempted to meet the demands of.

I actually use a mix of Adobe Story and Final Draft partially because I like the flexibility of standalone apps and online apps (in the case of Adobe Story).

If you want me to review some creative writing, it is best to be in script format as you are planning to produce something visual, meaning it will need a script, or storyboard.

If you do not have experience of the script format, I have a few links below from doing web searches:

Simply Scripts
Script Frenzy
FilmScriptWriting
MovieOutlineGuide

If you have software though, the links will just tell you what software will do automatically for you, but it's interesting reading anyway.

Once you got a script together, please drop it by me and I'd be happy to review it.

Freedom Fighters? That's a little overused now - I think I heard that on a beer commercial once. Try coming up with original choices, and if you want emotion and/or something uplifting and evocative, there is a lot of classical pieces that could fit.

AK


Sorry for the stalling, and sorry for the quality of this.

EXT. OUTER Space - Thukker Tribe's shipyard - unknown

The fleet has been summoned, three massive Thukker Elder fleets are there waiting to strike. With the Tukker Tribe's unique ship pattern, the fleet looks vicious and devastating.

As the music rises, the theme of Freedom Fighters rises. The engine tails start to merge at every ship, the ships are aligning them to the location they are about to cyno jump. And the Titan, Ragnarok is slowing turning itself, with each fleet's entire member surrounding it.

Ext. Outer SPACE - hyper space tunnel

The Elder fleet traveling through the hyper space of cyno jump

EXT. OUTER SPACE - planet Mekhios' orbit

The Thukker Tribe's vessels are pouring into the Amarr's secured space and are taking orbit control to deploy ground units. Countless space ships are merging from the Naglfar and many other ships' bay, directing themselves straight to the Mekhios' surface.

The Amarr's orbital defense system and guarding ships are fighting back, but they are outnumbered, but every now and then, massive Amarr fleet is jumping here to reinforce, the Thukker Tribe is gradually losing their advantage of blitzkrieg.

EXT. OUTER SPACE - Planet mekhios' atmosphere

The Thukker's conveyors to the Mekhios's ground is going through the atmosphere, and due to the atmosphere friction, the camera depicting this scene is trembling.

EXT. Planet surface -planet mekhios' ground

A Minimatar slave is looking up to the sky in a vast farm land, the sky is now ornamented with many falling red stars.

EXT. PLANET SURFACE -PLANET MEKHIOS' GROUND

One of the Thukker Tribe's conveyor has landed on the ground, many many Mimimatar slaves are running toward it.

EXT. OUTER SPACE - Planet mekhios' atmosphere

The conveyor takes off from the ground and soaring to the sky, piercing through the atmosphere, transporting the slaves to the Orbit fleet fast speed. But as it escape, cannon and laser fires exploded around it, trying to shoot it down.

EXT. OUTER SPACE - planet Mekhios' orbit

The conveyor has finally made it to the outer space, but the battle field is more fiercing than ever, debris everywhere, thermal nuclear cannons and lasers are releasing their devastating effects.

Although the Amarr is gaining advantage, and the Elder fleet is more like holding up till the rescue is complete. The Amarr fleet suddenly all retreat.

But after a moment, an Abaddon with an escort of twelve Apocalypses enter the battlefield.

The Minimatar's cannon are aiming, but just before that, a deadly arch released from the Abaddon, casuing chained explosion among the Elder fleet.

Finally the deadly arch is reaching towards the conveyor ship.

Sorry for the heading is not all CAP, copy and paste thing made it that way, I didn't mean it.

They say that I shouldn't add any thing like camera angles, directing things or any other technic details in it since it's just a script. And since this script is about space ships, it got no characters, no dialogues. So the whole script things seemed kinda dull without all those things.

AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#20 - 2012-08-31 11:47:15 UTC  |  Edited by: AlleyKat
Hmm,

It needs a lot of work.

Your descriptions are practically non-existent and there are many issues I have with it overall.

eg(1);

"The Thukker Tribe's vessels are pouring into the Amarr's secured space"

Should read:

"The Thukker Tribe's vessels pour into the Amarr's secured space"

eg(2);

"The conveyor takes off from the ground and soaring to the sky"

Should read:

"The conveyor takes off from the ground and soars into the sky"


You just have to be ultra careful with descriptions that use figurative speech; like 'pour' & 'soar', because although I understand you are trying to put a picture in the mind of the reader to understand visually what is happening on-screen; the picture I have of something soaring or pouring is different than yours, and probably anyone else who would read it.

Camera angles are always a no-no, BUT, you can use 'shots' within reason.

eg;(3)

EXT. PLANET SURFACE - PLANET MEKHIOS' GROUND

One of the Thukker Tribe's conveyor has landed on the ground, many many Mimimatar slaves are running toward it.

Would be better written as:

EXT. PLANET SURFACE - PLANET MEKHIOS' GROUND

The pale, blue light of the distant SUN lights the turbulent DUST from-

A CONVEYOR

-heavy and majestic; its VTOL exhausts BLAST the DUST high up in the air, causing-

MINMATAR SLAVES

-to advert their eyes, stumbling as they SCURRY towards the CONVERYOR. Some trip and fall, only to be dragged to their feet by other slaves towards the conveyor.


Another point worth mentioning is that a voice over can work wonders, if it is narrative.

Anyways...just a few thoughts,

AK

This space for rent.
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