Wormholes

We all know we must honor Bob, the god of all that is wormhole, but how?

I've heard of useing a shuttle at the sun? SD? Use the ship(s) about to go into a site to make boom boom?

Does Bob like other ships? Mining barges perhaps? Exotic Dancers?

Is there a ceramony?


Could a wise Wormhole Master please enlighten me?

Thanks

One must take the shuttle, henceforth known as "the offering", and fill it until it overflows with exotic dancers. The offering must be flown to the sun by only the purest among you. Once there, the capsuleer must scream as loud as he can (over comms) "LORD BOB I RELEASE MYSELF INTO YOU" while he activates the self-destruct sequence. During this sequence the capsuleer must sing, as loudly as he can, the first minute of the song "Friday". While this is happening, the other members in the WH corporation MUST use alts to sucide gank at least one hulk. Other mining barges will do, but you will get the most melteds from lord bob if you gank a hulk and/or mack. After the gank is complete, everyone must then get on their WH mains and warp to the sun, and watch as the purest capsuleer releases into bob.

After the ritual is complete, all involved capsuleers are now free to warp to wormhole sites with the blessing of our lord bob.


(On side note: This is why the buff to mining ships is in fact a stealth nerf to wormholes.)

*snip*


But yes OP standard shuttle SD at the sun is customarily acceptable.


Discriminatory/derogatory language removed, please post sensibly in future, thank you ISD Type40.

SD is heresy. Bob is the anthropomorphised avatar of the omnipotent Random Number Generator, and He is angered by self destructs. Blowing yourself up makes you unworthy in His all-seeing eyes, and this will bring you bad loot and useless rolls of the static. He only accepts frozen corpses as sacrifice, and thus frequent PvP is necessary to stay in His favour. There can be no truer friend and protector than the almighty Bob, so stay true to the teachings of His humble prophets.

Relaying passages from the Necronomicon to Local helps to attract His attention towards your offering. Sacrifices are traditionally performed at the sun. Serve Him well and offer Him frequent sacrifices, and you shall always have the rarest loot from the wrecks of your enemies and His static wormholes will carry you to the most exquisite systems.

Nailed it.

I'm also partial to capital sized explosions...

Well they say if you want to get rich then create a religion.

I have yet to see my cut of the takings!

Friends, I have come to tell you of Bob.

Bob is the provider of good connections, ample sigs and profitable anoms. His bounty is available to all, believers and non-believers alike, in wormhole space.

Brother Zeb offers the following services to the wilds of the wormhole frontier:

> Blessings performed - give your ammo, probes and ships an edge!
> Enemies cursed until their points wither and their towers fall.
> Births and re-births celebrated in Bob's name
> Weddings always a pleasure to perform (pods for 2, or more, available at a small charge)
> Why not inspire your troops with a blessing on your campaign?
> Battlefield ministry available (bagpipes extra)

Bob is my shield and My Cloak.

Martyrdoms this week: 0

Donations welcome. This ministry doesn't run itself son ;-)

Confirming Bob does not always accept shuttles as sacrifices.

As the prophet of Bob I took it upon myself to warp into a Quad escalated anom in a shuttle in order to sacrifice it in His name.

It wasn't until the frigs spawned that they managed to kill this unworthy offering.

May Bob forgive me.

Sith