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EVE Jokes

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RomeStar
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#1 - 2012-06-27 16:33:22 UTC
I will start

What does the Bermuda Triangle and Goons have in common?



They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

Signatured removed, CCP Phantom
Corina Jarr
en Welle Shipping Inc.
#2 - 2012-06-27 16:35:48 UTC
Isn't a joke supposed to be funny?
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#3 - 2012-06-27 16:39:53 UTC
There's no sea in space

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Nyreanya
Serenity Labs
#4 - 2012-06-27 16:42:44 UTC
But there's no space in seaman either.

[/sarcasm]
Lady Hek
Pyramid Celestial
#5 - 2012-06-27 16:43:15 UTC
Nyreanya wrote:
But there's no space in seaman either.



lots of seamen have been in goons though
Roc Wieler
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2012-06-27 16:45:25 UTC
While training to be Dusters, an Amarr and a Caldari jump from a dropship in low atmosphere. Both forgot their parachutes. Which hits first?

The answer? Who cares?

Yes, this joke is incredibly funny to Minmatar everywhere.

Never start a fight you can win.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2012-06-27 16:53:53 UTC  |  Edited by: Surfin's PlunderBunny
Roc Wieler wrote:
While training to be Dusters, an Amarr and a Caldari jump from a dropship in low atmosphere. Both forgot their parachutes. Which hits first?

The answer? Who cares?

Yes, this joke is incredibly funny to Minmatar everywhere.


Don't think they use chutes... reckon it's more like Roughnecks Big smile

http://youtu.be/zdq9HHnI-Es?t=6m46s

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Kyle Ward
Doomheim
#8 - 2012-06-27 16:56:20 UTC
I'm not even going to dignify this thread with a post.

The Sandbox, you're playing it wrong!
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2012-06-27 16:59:13 UTC
Ok here's a joke, 2 Amarrians walk into a bar carrying a brutor on their shoulders. The bartender looks at them and asks "Is this a joke?"

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Xercodo
Cruor Angelicus
#10 - 2012-06-27 17:03:28 UTC
Roc Wieler wrote:
While training to be Dusters, an Amarr and a Caldari jump from a dropship in low atmosphere. Both forgot their parachutes. Which hits first?

The answer? Who cares?

Yes, this joke is incredibly funny to Minmatar everywhere.


They use inertial dampeners built into their suits.

The Drake is a Lie
ISD Dorrim Barstorlode
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
ISD Alliance
#11 - 2012-06-27 17:05:32 UTC
What do you call a null sec fleet in a wormhole?

Trapped.

ISD Dorrim Barstorlode

Senior Lead

Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)

Interstellar Services Department
Christopher Dulson
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2012-06-27 17:06:17 UTC
Normal Joke

A horse walks into a bar and the barman says "why the long face"

The horse says "because i have Cancer"


Eve version


A horse walks into a bar and the barman says "why the long face"

The horse sayw "because i have space Cancer"


(Karn Dulake approves this message)
Teinyhr
Ourumur
#13 - 2012-06-27 17:09:45 UTC
These two player avatars walk in to a virtual bar....
Nostradamouse Riraille
S.M.U.G.G.L.E.
#14 - 2012-06-27 17:45:57 UTC
Damn, where is my corpmate with all his "yo mamma so fat" jokes about eve...?
Ottersmacker
Genos Occidere
HYDRA RELOADED
#15 - 2012-06-27 17:48:47 UTC
A pirate with a warp disruptor attacks a missioner with a warp drive stabilizer. The missioner warps away. The pirate finds him later and attacks him again but the missioner once again warps out.
The missioner asks "Why do you keep attacking me?"
The pirate replies, "I'm not sure now, I'm starting to think this might be.. ~* pointless *~"

(ba dum tish, shameless repost i know, not taking credit)

i just locked an open door.. strange, yet symbolically compelling.
Carmine Terriv
Tundra Technologies
#16 - 2012-06-27 17:52:33 UTC
In Soviet Timezone, ISK buys you!

------------------------------------------------- Simple Steps to Complex Problems
Lin-Young Borovskova
Doomheim
#17 - 2012-06-27 17:55:14 UTC
Op

You joke makes me feel like this Roll

Try again !

brb
stoicfaux
#18 - 2012-06-27 17:57:57 UTC
RomeStar wrote:
I will start

What does the Bermuda Triangle and Goons have in common?



They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

Sigh. At least have the courtesy to try.

Q: Why are Goonswarm members some of the brightest individuals in the known galaxy?

A: Because of the amount of sunshine blown up their arses by Mittens.


Disclaimer: Nowhere is it written that humor has to be funny.

Pon Farr Memorial: once every 7 years, all the carebears in high-sec must PvP or they will be temp-banned.
Joe Hinken
Cetan Consortium
#19 - 2012-06-27 17:58:58 UTC  |  Edited by: Joe Hinken
Ottersmacker wrote:
A pirate with a warp disruptor attacks a missioner with a warp drive stabilizer. The missioner warps away. The pirate finds him later and attacks him again but the missioner once again warps out.
The missioner asks "Why do you keep attacking me?"
The pirate replies, "I'm not sure now, I'm starting to think this might be.. ~* pointless *~"

(ba dum tish, shameless repost i know, not taking credit)


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Cool

EDIT: My contribution:

There was a Caldari pilot, a Gallente pilot and a Damsel sitting together in an InterBus shuttle going through Essence. The shuttle's pilot made an apologetic announcement that the passenger lighting was faulty and may go out for periods of time during their journey.

Right on cue, the shuttle lights went out and it was completely dark.

Then there was a kissing sound, followed by the sound of a really loud *SLAP*. When the lights came back on, the Damsel and the Caldari pilot were sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Gallente had a nasty red slap mark on his face.

The Gallente guy was thinking: "The Caldari fella must have kissed the Damsel and she missed him and slapped me instead."

The Damsel was thinking: "The Gallente fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Caldari fella and got slapped for it."

The Caldari pilot was thinking: "This is great. The next time the power goes out, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Gallente guy again."

Brick Royl > bad timing the isk is deflating fatser then a baloon in a cactus shop
stoicfaux
#20 - 2012-06-27 18:06:16 UTC
Newbie: Faction Warfare, is it fun?

Goonswarm Vet: Our CFJ just loves it!

Newbie: CFJ?

Goonswarm Vet: Chief Financial Jew.



Disclaimer: Humor doesn't have to be funny to everyone.

Pon Farr Memorial: once every 7 years, all the carebears in high-sec must PvP or they will be temp-banned.
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