Out of Pod Experience

I think the whole world is a big sandbox. I rented a system (small duplex unit) from a corporation (unnamed realtor's corp) in the Florida constellation of the United States Faction. I live in this system for which I pay rent every month. It is kind of high sec as we have several police entities acting on crime (with Longwood PD being like my local Navy NPC). But that doesn't guarantee is "safe", just "safer". Anybody will attack my castle if there was profit to be made.

I have a screened porch and a bird in the porch. I feed my bird mixed bird seeds as he changes taste often. Every day he eats what he feels like and throws out the rest. Mixed bird seed fall on the floor which I swept once a day and trow away. A local pirate faction called SquirrelWaffe noticed there was a time delay in between bird seeds falling to the floor and me picking them up. Damned squirrels figured out how to break the screen porch and steal the seeds before I did my daily cleaning.

I noticed the bird seed exploit and quickly hot-patched it by nailing a piece of wood on the whole and cleaning the falling bird seeds more often. But it was too late, members of SquirrelWaffe were already addicted to free bird seeds. Instead of using the intended game mechanics (gather stuff from the patio), they came up with a new exploit. They made a new whole and went straight for the bird seed container, looting it whole.

I again hot patched it and got new/stronger bird seed container. By then, SquirrelWaffe had grown in numbers, subsidizing their operation with the illicit bird seed they stole from me. At one point I went out and noticed 5 squirrels biting the seed container trying to break it. It was clear they would not stop looking for exploits.

At this point, proper Sandbox procedure would have been to camp the bird seed silo from a cloaked/bookmarked position and snipe'em down with a 22lr or a bb gun. But the Constellation's Statutes have fines for that sort of thing. I could have used a silenced 22lr and get away with it. But to fit a suppressor I needed to get an NFA Diamond Tag and those were too expensive.

I went to the seed store and bought a have-a-heart squirrel trap. I set up the trap and watched. One squirrel got in and got trapped. But she started screaming in local and quickly a whole freaking SquirrelWaffe gang formed around the trap. They figured out how to open the trap and get their trapped friend out, allong with the looted bird seed.

At this point it was clear, squirrels have to die. So I went to x-mart and got some squirrel-sized rat traps. Set them up, waited and soon enough, bam! Dead squirrel. Other's looked, got scared and warped out.

I don't know if this will be the end of my bird seeds being raided by the SquirrelWaffe. They now have recruited enough members to chew the house's foundation and bring the whole structure down. The sheer power SquirrelWaffe holds is amazing. They have the numbers, they have the resources, they have the intel. Every time I see a tree, I think "there's a clocked SquirrelWaffe there, watching me".

So... what do you think the SquirrelWaffe will do next?

A) Kidnap the bird for ramsom.
B) Keep dying at the rat traps.
C) Ignore the rat traps and keep looting the bird seed silo
D) Gank me
E) Destroy the house
F) Other

+1 Would read again without first slashing my wrists.

Throw a curve ball SquirrelWaffe' way.....

Buy/Borrow an Eagle.

Try an organic solution, e.g. a cat or a dog.

edit: Err, I mean, setup a pet alliance to gate-camp the access points.

LOL Pet Alliance.. awesome. But Realtor Corp say I have to pay up extra rent if I wanna have Pet Alliance in system (other than my bird).




Yeah, it's forbidden... I can't use a giant gas cloud.

Have you tried scamming a neighbour corp? if they get their own pet and expose some officer/faction loot, it could lure the SquirrelWaffe to the other system. Requires a bit of social engineering to convince them that a form of exhumer, like ORE's rabbit or hamster is the definite entertainment in this world. But it might be worth a try and not as legally borderline as ganking the SquirrelWaffe.