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Crime & Punishment

 
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I have a "Wrinkle" that needs ironing
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Ristlin Wakefield
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#1 - 2012-06-15 20:54:47 UTC
There exists a particular shirt .
For reasons that become painfully obvious to anyone who looks at or wears this shirt, it needs ironing.

Clarification: I don't want someone to simply iron it. I want the shirt to be made pristine. I want it ironed (no starch), folded, and properly stored for future use. I do not care about price, the cost or the number of distinct entities I need employ to ensure that this contract concludes is irrelevant. I care only that it is done as quick as possible.

I have a lover, her name is EVE. I see her every night and all she asks in return is that I have a pilot's license.
Sun Win
#2 - 2012-06-15 21:03:54 UTC
I know a guy. For 6 billion ISK i can make the introduction.
Mira Lynne
State War Academy
Caldari State
#3 - 2012-06-15 21:06:43 UTC
Ill have a look at it. Simply send 3.5b over to me and ill get this ball rolling.

[u]I, too, horse frogs.[/u] Support the Return of Realistic Module Icons! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=114818&find=unread
CorInaXeraL
The Dresdeneers
#4 - 2012-06-15 21:20:02 UTC
I see your shirt, Sir...

...But I do not see your pants. This worries me a great deal.
Taresh Quickfingers
Doomheim
#5 - 2012-06-15 22:14:11 UTC
CorInaXeraL wrote:
I see your shirt, Sir...

...But I do not see your pants. This worries me a great deal.

8% of EVE's population are his pants.
Morgorathi
Euaemon
#6 - 2012-06-15 23:51:57 UTC
Khazarian Resergence can iron it for you.

1,000,000ISK

When did Crime & Punishment become the mercenary employment board?
Dirk Magnum
Spearhead Endeavors
#7 - 2012-06-16 00:46:14 UTC
I am perplexed.

                      "LIVE FAST DIE." - traditional Minmatar ethos [citation needed]
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#8 - 2012-06-16 00:46:35 UTC
CorInaXeraL wrote:
I see your shirt, Sir...

...But I do not see your pants. This worries me a great deal.


I concur, this shirt would go with a light colored blue jean. Khakis if you're a nerd, but otherwise it'll be a train wreck and people will make fun of you behind your back

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Ristlin Wakefield
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#9 - 2012-06-16 00:58:53 UTC
Taresh Quickfingers wrote:
CorInaXeraL wrote:
I see your shirt, Sir...

...But I do not see your pants. This worries me a great deal.

8% of EVE's population are his pants.


You underestimate the size of my pants, sir!

I have a lover, her name is EVE. I see her every night and all she asks in return is that I have a pilot's license.
Ristlin Wakefield
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#10 - 2012-06-16 01:00:23 UTC
Morgorathi wrote:
Khazarian Resergence can iron it for you.

1,000,000ISK


You have the winning bid.

I have a lover, her name is EVE. I see her every night and all she asks in return is that I have a pilot's license.
Ristlin Wakefield
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#11 - 2012-06-16 01:02:28 UTC
Dirk Magnum wrote:
I am perplexed.


One does not simply Iron a Shirt:
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/22067334.jpg

I have a lover, her name is EVE. I see her every night and all she asks in return is that I have a pilot's license.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2012-06-16 03:14:20 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
CorInaXeraL wrote:
I see your shirt, Sir...

...But I do not see your pants. This worries me a great deal.


I concur, this shirt would go with a light colored blue jean. Khakis if you're a nerd, but otherwise it'll be a train wreck and people will make fun of you behind your back


And if you wear khakis make sure you wear brown shoes... that shirt with khakis and black shoes is grounds for an ass kicking.

Also remember to wear a belt that matches the shoes

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Daemon Ceed
Ice Fire Warriors
#13 - 2012-06-18 04:32:07 UTC
In the spirit of dispelling common sexist stereotypes regarding the ironing of shirts, I will gladly iron your shirt for FREE using nothing but the beaten and battered corpse of a carebear. Warning; there may be fecal stains left as a result.
Murisha
#14 - 2012-06-18 11:42:56 UTC