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Help me overcome my fat gut

Author
Kehro Urgus
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#21 - 2012-06-01 22:37:57 UTC
You should try smoking. Not only will you eat less but the smoker's cough will give you ripped abs.

Yeeee! 

Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#22 - 2012-06-01 23:49:29 UTC  |  Edited by: Mallak Azaria
Akita T wrote:
Mallak Azaria wrote:
I have considered trying out the e-cigs, but became afraid of placing one of these anywhere near my face, as a poor Canadian fellow had one explode in his face last year

You wouldn't be afraid to put a cellphone to your sweaty temple, or would you ?
And yet the battery in those things is usually just as powerful, if not more powerful than that in e-cigs.
Or, you know, holding a laptop in your lap.

Also, you hold the damn thing in your hands (not like you could keep them in your mouth hands-free, even the lightest versions are still noticeably heavier than a cigarette) so you should be able to feel a FAULTY battery overheating quite a while before it actually explodes.
Or, you know, normal people would.

Besides, it happened like, what, once in the entire world (and with a manually modified battery almost surely) ?
You're probably safer than crossing the street in a hurry, statistically speaking.


Actually, those little watch batteries have a nasty habit of exploding. It's a rather common occurence, you just don't hear about it because they usually aren't in peoples mouths at the time.

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Selinate
#23 - 2012-06-02 00:56:46 UTC
Akita T wrote:
Simple physical exercise : turn head left, turn head right, repeat several times while keeping your mouth tightly shut any time anybody offers you food, tries to sell you food, or you see food you might want to get because it TASTES good.
As long as you stay away from refined sugars, fried stuff and other things full of grease, and don't stuff your face full of everything else all the time, you'll be fine.

Pretty freaking simple, but also extremely difficult.

You might consider developing a nicotine addiction to decrease your appetite.
I would recommend nicotine in propylene glycol inhaled from electronic vaporizers to both minimize costs and minimize the detrimental health effects associated with the more "traditional" method of nicotine consumption.
Bonus points - sugary stuff reduces the taste-wise enjoyment of nicotine-in-PG vaporizing, so that's an added incentive to not partake in sweets.
Extra bonus points - nicotine can reduce symptoms of ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression and a host of other issues, and it promotes formation of new blood vessels making healing faster.

TwistedLolTwisted


I'd have to partially agree with this. Simply eating less is not a good solution in this case, it's eating differently also.

If you want my guide to lose weight when you're living an unhealthy lifestyle, try the following.

Step 1) Swear off all soft drinks, milk shakes, or any other sugary/sweet/fatty drink when it's offered to you. Water, unsweet tea, non-sweetened juices are your friend. Trust me, this works for EVERYONE and it does WONDERS for losing weight, could cause you to lose 15 pounds from this alone if you stick to it.

Step 2) Watch what you eat. Swear off McDonalds, Burger King, all that fast food junk. Go to a sit down restaurant and ask for a meal with a decent amount of vegetables or fruit (preferably without added sugar), and stay away from fatty foods with lots of oil, fatty meats, or anything like that added to it. Most pasta and white bread is off the list also.

Step 3) Exercise. Do it in your daily life. Walk instead of taking your car. Also try joining a gym and stick with it. Learning how to lift weights properly and doing that on a regular basis will cause fat to shed off of you like nothing else, and is actually much better for burning fat than most aerobic exercises such as running.

Yes, I know these things are absolutely miserable at first. Yes, I know it's really hard to kick bad habits. But trust me, if you're able to do the things I listed above and stick with it, the gains will outweigh anything you've lost by so much that you'll forget it eventually.
Selinate
#24 - 2012-06-02 00:58:10 UTC
Ituhata Saken wrote:
THE L0CK wrote:
Vigorous Daily ************. Several times a day you can take a five minute break and complete this action. As you are facing a toilet go into a squat position like you are sitting on the can (only you are still facing it). Keep the upper body upright and rigid. Remain in this position for the full 5 minutes while you perform the motion at a moderate pace. This will increase your heart rate, burn calories, and work out those calf, thigh, and stomach muscles.


Desperately want to know what asteriks are for.


I'm going to take a stab at it and guess that it's choking the chicken.
Shalia Ripper
#25 - 2012-06-02 01:34:34 UTC
Scalpel + vacuum = problem solved.

Sig blah blah blah blah

Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#26 - 2012-06-02 01:58:37 UTC
Shalia Ripper wrote:
Scalpel + vacuum = problem solved.


NOT a shop vac! Tried that once and lost a kidney

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny

Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
#27 - 2012-06-02 02:01:30 UTC  |  Edited by: Akita T
Mallak Azaria wrote:
Actually, those little watch batteries have a nasty habit of exploding. It's a rather common occurence, you just don't hear about it because they usually aren't in peoples mouths at the time.

I'm smoking an e-cig in between pressing keys right now. There's a good ~7cm/~3inch distance between the closest point on the actual battery to any part of my head.

Back on the main issue of the thread, I know firsthand how simple yet difficult it is to lose weight, and how easy it is to put it back on.

Here's a quick recipe to getting fat : eat everything that tastes good, especially the most tasty things full of fats and sugars, eat fast and until you can't stuff your face anymore, drink as much alcohol as you can, and avoid any form of physical activity as much as possible.
Gain 40 pounds in a single month and keep them too ? You bet you can do it, it's easy and fun too ! I did it twice, even !
Oh, and if possible, keep a strict diet JUST BEFORE you start doing all of that, it makes it so much easier.

Quick recipe for losing fat : the exact opposite of the above, especially if you take great care NOT to starve yourself, to avoid the yo-yo effect.
Takes a whole lot longer though. 60 pounds, about a year, give or take. First 10-20 pounds, that goes down relatively easy, in a couple of months, but after that, ouch.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#28 - 2012-06-02 03:09:48 UTC
Akita T wrote:
Mallak Azaria wrote:
Actually, those little watch batteries have a nasty habit of exploding. It's a rather common occurence, you just don't hear about it because they usually aren't in peoples mouths at the time.

I'm smoking an e-cig in between pressing keys right now. There's a good ~7cm/~3inch distance between the closest point on the actual battery to any part of my head.

Back on the main issue of the thread, I know firsthand how simple yet difficult it is to lose weight, and how easy it is to put it back on.

Here's a quick recipe to getting fat : eat everything that tastes good, especially the most tasty things full of fats and sugars, eat fast and until you can't stuff your face anymore, drink as much alcohol as you can, and avoid any form of physical activity as much as possible.
Gain 40 pounds in a single month and keep them too ? You bet you can do it, it's easy and fun too ! I did it twice, even !
Oh, and if possible, keep a strict diet JUST BEFORE you start doing all of that, it makes it so much easier.

Quick recipe for losing fat : the exact opposite of the above, especially if you take great care NOT to starve yourself, to avoid the yo-yo effect.
Takes a whole lot longer though. 60 pounds, about a year, give or take. First 10-20 pounds, that goes down relatively easy, in a couple of months, but after that, ouch.


Ignore him! Do what I do, stop eating for a week then eat only about 300 calories a day until evolution sets in and you can survive on lower calories then cap out at 800 calories a day like I do Cool

Before anyone bitches about me being anorexic I weigh 150 lbs Cool and I'm 5'11"

Usually I weigh in at around 143 but I just moved to Alabama and the food is soooo good here Sad


"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny

Evet Morrel
Doomheim
#29 - 2012-06-02 09:21:34 UTC  |  Edited by: Evet Morrel
Get a recumbent exercise bike. Link this to a simple switch (I have no idea how this would be done of course but it can't be that hard or an electrician) such that while you cycle your monitor will remain on, and then play EVE, or indulge your favorite computer obsession of the day which considering your earlier admission is unlikely to put you at too much risk.

hint: The thing about exercise is that it needn't be vigorous if all you want is to burn fat, you just have to do it regularly for a while. You should be able to carry on a conversation at the same time.

!!NO PAIN MUCH GAIN!!
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#30 - 2012-06-02 09:59:11 UTC
Akita T wrote:
I'm smoking an e-cig in between pressing keys right now. There's a good ~7cm/~3inch distance between the closest point on the actual battery to any part of my head..


I still don't want a tiny piece of dynamite near my face. Could you please answer my earlier question in regards to them? You appear to have skipped over it.

Mallak Azaria wrote:
Can it be taken as a suppository?

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Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
#31 - 2012-06-02 10:29:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Akita T
Mallak Azaria wrote:
Could you please answer my earlier question in regards to them?

If you want, you can pour a couple of drops of no-additional-aroma e-liquid (which is usually quite a bit cheaper than regular flavoured liquid) into a cup of water and drink it. Or you can smear it on your skin. But neither of that is any fun.
Also, beware of the dosage.
At the usual high 36mg/ml nicotine concentration of flavourless e-liquids, a milliliter of the stuff (about 40 drops, give or take) taken in a single dose (halflife is about 2h) has a decent chance to harm a non-smoker, and a full bottle (usually 30ml) will almost certainly kill just about anybody stupid enough to drink it all in a gulp (in spite of the strong bitter taste).

P.S. I know you're joking, but I don't care.
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#32 - 2012-06-02 10:33:20 UTC
Akita T wrote:
Mallak Azaria wrote:
Could you please answer my earlier question in regards to them?

If you want, you can pour a couple of drops of no-additional-aroma e-liquid (which is usually quite a bit cheaper than regular flavoured liquid) into a cup of water and drink it. Or you can smear it on your skin. But neither of that is any fun (it can be somewhat bitter even diluted, and it's also quite oily).
Also, beware of the dosage.
At the usual high 36mg/ml nicotine concentration of flavourless e-liquids, a milliliter of the stuff (about 40 drops, give or take) taken in a single dose (halflife is about 2h) has a decent chance to harm a non-smoker, and a full bottle (usually 30ml) will almost certainly kill just about anybody stupid enough to drink it all in a gulp.

P.S. I know you're joking, but I don't care.


But... Can it be taken as a suppository? I need to know.

This post was lovingly crafted by a member of the Goonwaffe Posting Cabal, proud member of the popular gay hookup site somethingawful.com, Spelling Bee, Grammar Gestapo & #1 Official Gevlon Goblin Fanclub member.

Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
#33 - 2012-06-02 10:44:42 UTC
Mallak Azaria wrote:
But... Can it be taken as a suppository? I need to know.

I suppose, technically, it can be taken as a liquid suppository.
I would assume it would be somewhat unwieldy though.
I have yet to hear of anybody providing nicotine in solid suppository form.
Something Random
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#34 - 2012-06-02 11:31:30 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:


It's not weird... the Japanese do it. Straight




Attention Oxymoron of the century Attention

Regarding the nicotene to lose weight thing try these lozenges - if you are like me and a few people i know who have tried it you will be EXTREMELY VIOLENTLY and HORRIFICALLY sick about 20 minutes after consumption.

Those capitals are justified.

"caught on fire a little bit, just a little."

"Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangs all here!"

I love Science, it gives me a Hadron.

Sturmwolke
#35 - 2012-06-02 15:04:43 UTC  |  Edited by: Sturmwolke
Mallak Azaria wrote:
I have this problem.


Simple. Avoid all processed food as much as you can ... anything that has altered during manufacturing or artificial (e.g sweeteners, etc).
The common flour you'd think is natural, think again - that statement is correct if you got your flour from an Amish (or their equivalents).

Eat right everyday and the problem will fix itself. This involves a change of habit and committing to it.
It takes a great amount of willpower, self-education (on proper nutrition) and the right frame of mind (i.e. NOT holding onto current dogmas on how people get fat).
On the plus side, you don't even need to exercise beyond the simple walks and daily chores.

5+ years back I was averaging 100-120kg (for a 6' 2), overweight but not grossly. Now a clean 70-80kg avg (been almost 2 years).
Never going back to the old weight again, that's for sure.
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#36 - 2012-06-02 15:07:00 UTC
Sturmwolke wrote:
Mallak Azaria wrote:
I have this problem.


Simple. Avoid all processed food as much as you can ... anything that has altered during manufacturing or artificial (e.g sweeteners, etc).
The common flour you'd think is natural, think again - that statement is correct if you got your flour from an Amish (or their equivalents).

Eat right everyday and the problem will fix itself. This involves a change of habit and committing to it.
It takes a great amount of willpower, self-education (on proper nutrition) and the right frame of mind (i.e. NOT holding onto current dogmas on how people get fat).
On the plus side, you don't even need to exercise beyond the simple walks and daily chores.

5+ years back I was averaging 100-120kg (for a 6' 2), overweight but not grossly. Now a clean 70-80kg avg (been almost 2 years).
Never going back to the old weight again, that's for sure.


So I should take the salad & water with my large double quarter pounder meal instead of fries & sprite?

This post was lovingly crafted by a member of the Goonwaffe Posting Cabal, proud member of the popular gay hookup site somethingawful.com, Spelling Bee, Grammar Gestapo & #1 Official Gevlon Goblin Fanclub member.

Sturmwolke
#37 - 2012-06-02 15:14:43 UTC
Mallak Azaria wrote:
So I should take the salad & water with my large double quarter pounder meal instead of fries & sprite?


I don't usually troll OOP, if you're looking for a response, then I'd say you're still not in the right frame of mind.
Ask again in 5 years.
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#38 - 2012-06-02 15:19:26 UTC
Sturmwolke wrote:
Mallak Azaria wrote:
So I should take the salad & water with my large double quarter pounder meal instead of fries & sprite?


I don't usually troll OOP, if you're looking for a response, then I'd say you're still not in the right frame of mind.
Ask again in 5 years.


I do intend to walk to Macdonalds for this instead of driving.

This post was lovingly crafted by a member of the Goonwaffe Posting Cabal, proud member of the popular gay hookup site somethingawful.com, Spelling Bee, Grammar Gestapo & #1 Official Gevlon Goblin Fanclub member.

Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
#39 - 2012-06-02 15:33:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Akita T
Ask your doctor if amputation is right for you. Quick weight loss guaranteed !
Another alternative would be to get in jail. I hear they have great incentives for keeping fit.
If nothing so far works, you could try to go get stranded on a remote island.
That, or you could try swimming from Europe to the USA or the other way around.
Sturmwolke
#40 - 2012-06-02 16:20:32 UTC
Eh ...I don't have the energy for this, but for you Akita, I'll indulge in a bit P

Do you believe everything that your doctor says? ... Really?
Why get in jail when you can do something more constructive, like volunteer as public works janitor or farm hand (read pay).
Why would you want to get stranded on an island with zero knowledge on how to survive? Want to see if you can be Tom Hanks (in Cast Away)?
No need to feed the fish in the ocean. They've got plenty to eat.