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Confessions of a Work Place Pooper

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Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
#21 - 2012-05-27 00:06:43 UTC  |  Edited by: Akita T
Considering I generally use the bathroom for bowel movements only once every 2 to 3 days (with not much concern if it ever becomes even longer) and I never have an exact hour for it, I usually have no problem timing it to whenever the hell I want, with very few exceptions.
I also come from a background of everybody in the student dorm room building having absolutely no problem actually having chats while on the toilet or WAITING for a toilet to free up (there were only 5 stalls for ~120 people per floor, and some of them were... ahem... unusable by anybody at times) if it's anybody else we know (and chances were pretty damn high we did know the others already inside or waiting for a stall), so I don't see what the big deal is supposed to be either way.

Akita T evewiki profile | | | Build your own EVE-ready PC
Ituhata Saken
Killboard Padding Services
#22 - 2012-05-27 00:28:19 UTC
I'm usually more than happy to relieve my bowels at work because that's the only way you'll ever get paid to do so.

So close...
Riedle
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#23 - 2012-05-27 12:27:34 UTC
Akita T wrote:
Considering I generally use the bathroom for bowel movements only once every 2 to 3 days (with not much concern if it ever becomes even longer) and I never have an exact hour for it, I usually have no problem timing it to whenever the hell I want, with very few exceptions.
I also come from a background of everybody in the student dorm room building having absolutely no problem actually having chats while on the toilet or WAITING for a toilet to free up (there were only 5 stalls for ~120 people per floor, and some of them were... ahem... unusable by anybody at times) if it's anybody else we know (and chances were pretty damn high we did know the others already inside or waiting for a stall), so I don't see what the big deal is supposed to be either way.



In this day and age where people can pretty much get a hold of anyone they want anytime they want anywhere they want I cannot for the life of me understand why my 'friend' would insist on 'chatting' with me while I am attempting to push yesterday's meal past the breach of my *******.

Surely to god there are times of the day and functions of the body where one can still feel human and not have to have this frankly odd compulsion to always have our gums flapping.

Also, for the love of Pete, get some fibre into you.
Selinate
#24 - 2012-05-27 13:15:27 UTC
Had a room mate once that would take 30 minutes every morning just to poop, and the smell following would be the absolutely most rancid smell I have ever smelled due to feces. I'm not kidding; yes poop stinks, but this had a particularly horrible odor. Drove me up the ******* wall if I needed to shower that morning, since I couldn't do it without gagging.

As for me, pooping is a 2 second thing. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I'm sure that means it'd be great for many other things if I swung that way.
witchking42
Doomheim
#25 - 2012-05-27 13:20:26 UTC
Most excellent post!
alittlebirdy
All Hail The Liopleurodon
#26 - 2012-05-27 15:27:29 UTC
Mohr Cowbell wrote:
You had me at

Riedle wrote:
Inexplicably the timing of my bowel movements has changed.


Also

alittlebirdy wrote:

Thats how many petitions you could have answered?


Shut the hell up.



Aw you MAD bro? The little test peon mad?
Something Random
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#27 - 2012-05-27 19:05:26 UTC  |  Edited by: Something Random
Its kinda repressed to be like this - and i mean most of you in this thread.

Everyone does it - and with men - if theyre in a cubicle you know they are doing it. Makes me laugh when im in there and some guy barely audibly next door (so to speak) tries to shat a load.

Personally im a regular morning man, i prowl until detonation is imminent, make my move - and should someone be in there i just think to myself "your so gonna wish youd hurried up mate".

Quick wash after the math - gone. but never forgotten.

Only reason id be in my socks though is cause i blew my shoes off.

"caught on fire a little bit, just a little."

"Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangs all here!"

I love Science, it gives me a Hadron.
Mac Tir
State War Academy
Caldari State
#28 - 2012-05-27 20:21:03 UTC
Felt obliged to leave this here: http://mistupid.com/people/page051.htm
Buzzmong
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#29 - 2012-05-27 21:53:52 UTC
Pfft.

The big question, one which has previously generated threadnaughts on other forums is thus:

When you go to wipe, do you fold or scrunch the toilet paper?


As an interesting note, that very question once led to a revelation that some people stand to wipe. I cannot comprehend why people would chose to do that. It boggles my mind.
Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
#30 - 2012-05-27 23:18:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Akita T
Riedle wrote:
Surely to god there are times of the day and functions of the body where one can still feel human and not have to have this frankly odd compulsion to always have our gums flapping.

Sure, I slightly prefer isolation, but I am not much bothered by conversation.
Or, if I am for some reason bothered at the time, a simple "busy, talk later" will suffice to bring the point across with no needlessly hurt feelings.

Side-note, you try waiting 5-15 minutes for an empty good condition stall with 3-8 other people you know waiting alongside and see how much you feel like keeping silent for the entire time Lol
Aren't crowded dorm room buildings fun ? Twisted

Quote:
Also, for the love of Pete, get some fibre into you.

More a matter of practice than lack of fiber. Could easily go daily if I wanted to, I just don't feel like it.
Got used to that after a rather long hospital stay in my youth, where the bathrooms were... well, the less said, the better.
Bowel control grandmastery FTW. Yeah, it's probably not very healthy, but then again...

Buzzmong wrote:
When you go to wipe, do you fold or scrunch the toilet paper?

Fold.
Number of folds depending on paper (ply count, ply thickness, etc).
Simple fold or triangle fold ( / then \ then _ ; repeat if necessary), depending on consistency of remains.
Given "modern" type toilet paper (single ply being quite transparent, usually comes in 3-ply variant), the sufficient thickness for me would be around 6 plies. Up to 9 plies total would be necessary for 3-ply paper to form the triangle, but a single simple fold with that type of paper is usually acceptable too.
Ideally, under no circumstance should the last ply (the one that touches the hand) be visibly altered in any way after a wipe compared to before a wipe.

I highly prefer wipe-then-wash-then-drywipe instead of repeated wiping without any added water, but very few public toilets can make that option possible.
I mean, how many public toilets with bidets have you been into ?
Heck, even hotel rooms don't usually have a bidet, and not always a sink within arm's reach of the toilet to enable at least wetting the paper.

Quote:
As an interesting note, that very question once led to a revelation that some people stand to wipe. I cannot comprehend why people would chose to do that. It boggles my mind.

I guess it depends on the relative size of the person and the bowl.
A small person on a large bowl would have no reason to move, ample space for wiping available.
A large person on a small bowl would need to move, at least lean sideways half-way, because there would be no opening otherwise. In some cases, leaning is not an option (small stall, for instance) so getting up altogether is the only remaining option.

Akita T evewiki profile | | | Build your own EVE-ready PC
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#31 - 2012-05-28 00:08:27 UTC
Ituhata Saken wrote:
I'm usually more than happy to relieve my bowels at work because that's the only way you'll ever get paid to do so.


Not true... but that's a story for another time....

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
#32 - 2012-05-28 00:13:05 UTC  |  Edited by: Akita T
Besides, if you get paid on a per-work-done basis (or something similar, which is getting increasingly more popular) as opposed to a per-hour-present-at-workplace basis, it's not like you really get paid to go to the bathroom...
...and even if you have the latter payment version, there are more pleasant ways to waste time at the workplace rather than sitting on the toilet.

Akita T evewiki profile | | | Build your own EVE-ready PC
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#33 - 2012-05-28 00:17:20 UTC  |  Edited by: Surfin's PlunderBunny
Akita T wrote:
there are more pleasant ways to waste time at the workplace rather than sitting on the toilet.


I haven't found it yet, but working in a place that has a working and flushing toilet is awesome! No more trench latrines for me Big smile

*Edit: Though with the trench it does become a social event that becomes a lot less awkward over time

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Ituhata Saken
Killboard Padding Services
#34 - 2012-05-28 15:34:55 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Ituhata Saken wrote:
I'm usually more than happy to relieve my bowels at work because that's the only way you'll ever get paid to do so.


Not true... but that's a story for another time....


Oh no, I swapped persons! Lol

Also, as Chris Griffin might slyly say, "Go on..."

So close...
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#35 - 2012-05-29 00:16:20 UTC
Ituhata Saken wrote:
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Ituhata Saken wrote:
I'm usually more than happy to relieve my bowels at work because that's the only way you'll ever get paid to do so.


Not true... but that's a story for another time....


Oh no, I swapped persons! Lol

Also, as Chris Griffin might slyly say, "Go on..."


Did I mention this is mostly from Japan?

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Selinate
#36 - 2012-05-29 00:58:51 UTC
Akita T wrote:
Riedle wrote:
Surely to god there are times of the day and functions of the body where one can still feel human and not have to have this frankly odd compulsion to always have our gums flapping.

Sure, I slightly prefer isolation, but I am not much bothered by conversation.
Or, if I am for some reason bothered at the time, a simple "busy, talk later" will suffice to bring the point across with no needlessly hurt feelings.

Side-note, you try waiting 5-15 minutes for an empty good condition stall with 3-8 other people you know waiting alongside and see how much you feel like keeping silent for the entire time Lol
Aren't crowded dorm room buildings fun ? Twisted

Quote:
Also, for the love of Pete, get some fibre into you.

More a matter of practice than lack of fiber. Could easily go daily if I wanted to, I just don't feel like it.
Got used to that after a rather long hospital stay in my youth, where the bathrooms were... well, the less said, the better.
Bowel control grandmastery FTW. Yeah, it's probably not very healthy, but then again...

Buzzmong wrote:
When you go to wipe, do you fold or scrunch the toilet paper?

Fold.
Number of folds depending on paper (ply count, ply thickness, etc).
Simple fold or triangle fold ( / then \ then _ ; repeat if necessary), depending on consistency of remains.
Given "modern" type toilet paper (single ply being quite transparent, usually comes in 3-ply variant), the sufficient thickness for me would be around 6 plies. Up to 9 plies total would be necessary for 3-ply paper to form the triangle, but a single simple fold with that type of paper is usually acceptable too.
Ideally, under no circumstance should the last ply (the one that touches the hand) be visibly altered in any way after a wipe compared to before a wipe.

I highly prefer wipe-then-wash-then-drywipe instead of repeated wiping without any added water, but very few public toilets can make that option possible.
I mean, how many public toilets with bidets have you been into ?
Heck, even hotel rooms don't usually have a bidet, and not always a sink within arm's reach of the toilet to enable at least wetting the paper.

Quote:
As an interesting note, that very question once led to a revelation that some people stand to wipe. I cannot comprehend why people would chose to do that. It boggles my mind.

I guess it depends on the relative size of the person and the bowl.
A small person on a large bowl would have no reason to move, ample space for wiping available.
A large person on a small bowl would need to move, at least lean sideways half-way, because there would be no opening otherwise. In some cases, leaning is not an option (small stall, for instance) so getting up altogether is the only remaining option.


Of course the first thing I would come onto the forums and seeing you discussing would be pooping habits and the intricacies of it.

I've pooped in a hole in the ground in Asia. I've pooped into a bucket in third world countries. I now consider a toilet a THRONE. Yes, this was a side note that had nothing to do with what you were talking about.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#37 - 2012-05-29 01:01:37 UTC
Yeah I'm a folder too Straight

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Selinate
#38 - 2012-05-29 01:03:48 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:

*Edit: Though with the trench it does become a social event that becomes a lot less awkward over time


*first day of work* FIRING TORPEDOES TOWARDS FRED'S SUBMARINE. DIRECT HIT! DIRECT HIT!

Also, a fun thing to do that I heard of from nefarious older sailors on boats with toilets like that is to light a piece of toilet paper on fire and let it slip on down :D
Ituhata Saken
Killboard Padding Services
#39 - 2012-05-29 05:32:08 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Ituhata Saken wrote:
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Ituhata Saken wrote:
I'm usually more than happy to relieve my bowels at work because that's the only way you'll ever get paid to do so.


Not true... but that's a story for another time....


Oh no, I swapped persons! Lol

Also, as Chris Griffin might slyly say, "Go on..."


Did I mention this is mostly from Japan?


Ah, Japan. I now have a mixture of curiousity and fear.

So close...
THE L0CK
Denying You Access
#40 - 2012-05-30 03:49:28 UTC
Buzzmong wrote:


When you go to wipe, do you fold or scrunch the toilet paper?





I make tissue origami while I quietly go about my business. Ever wipe yourself with a swan?

Do you smell what the Lock's cooking?
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