My EVE

“I pwned goons! I owned goooOOooOooOOoons hahahaha!” – such exclamations could be heared on a cabin already mine from now on and ever dreadnought, when I dragged cyno in the necessary system at last and jumped out on a fresh-snatched Moros from goon’s carebear paradise directly in wild and thin nullsec :)

It was very fun and joyful, and it became even more joyful after one of POS owners from whom dread was stolen, convoed me at the moment I tried to save enough cappa for a jump on the second to cyno (the cappa do not restore in logoff mode lol). Conversation was not so long and it ended with buttheart (the former owners of Moros were butthearting for a several days after, but I didn't lose this time for nothing). I jumped out in the following system, but there was one more jump to lowsec, and there was already Down Time.

Right after DT it did not turn out to login, so when I logged in - there was this Goon – Kuschke in local, in proud loneliness, but there were his combat probes on scan. And again I had to save cappa for a jump, and I desperately had to check distant and close scanrange, I’ve cheked a killboard of this Kuschke, understood that he was in a tengu and most likely with a cyno onboard, because most of his corpmates were online, and I had the unique thought during that moment – what would I do if they tackle me? Should I logoff or just lost their own Moros to them? :) well while I‘ve been reflecting and checking goon character’s info, capacitor have reached the necessary condi_tion - 75 % and I jumped to Jan Solar System, in dock range, no bump, but there were a lot of Goons in local, and pubbies also (Goon’s word for the spongers who does not belong to a goonswarm federation alliance directly, and not only spongers, sense of this word approximately such - plebeian weak-willed herd), goons didn't pay any attention to me strangely enough, moreover, no one even tried to kill my cyno.

Having safely driven away dread in a Forge I equipped a convoy fleet: rupture with the t2 industrial and according to the recommendation of the same old Kuschke to “burn in a hell" I forwarded straight to the goonswarm capital - VFK, I’ve been funking around all day long? plundered about 7 control towers in total, most of it were goon’s towers and a few pet’s towers. By the way, on my way back home I met the previous owner of my Moros – It was goon called Supadupadave. He treated me kindly with a pair of gentle words in local chat and called me to fight with him, asking me to decloak... at this moment I’ve been gnawing corporate hangar’s structure of goon’s POS in the same system, I don't know how could he think that I am cloacked, but anyway the person who leaves capitals without any protection have The right to think about everything anytime and anywhere he likes, thanks to this kind of people I earn isks for plexes eventually uhahahaha

So, what am I talking about? Oh yeah! Friends! Let’s press goons wherever you meet them! If you have aan alt in goonswarm – bump out anything you can, steal from corphangars and open friendly fire! After all Goonswarm Alliance does not simply welcomed all this, but propagandized and propagandizes to this day!
Goons are quite weak now for the reason that they don’t have neither worthy rivals, nor any global purposes (there were no global ops announcements at their ally forum for a last half a year!!!) members of alliance became fat and most of them engaged in carebear’s stuff only, they do not care any hostile treats in claimed or NPC locals. So for the benefit of goonswarm I suggest to relieve superfluous goon’s stuff, who knows, it can become their saviour. But if we would not help to our yellow-black brothers, they will simply fail under their own weight soon. And Eve will not be Eve without them after all...

... more shortly, goons are the new xdeathx, without mentioning solars lol, but goon’s claim is more profitable than any other at the moment imho

And now I would like to appeal to those who read it and thought to himself something like this: "Again, this beast had robbed someone and flaunts it, and yet I'm the same as those innocent carebears", and so, if you really think so, just remember about the Jita on fire in late April, how many times you’ve been shoot in the Jita and Perimeter? Think of how many times have you personally been suicided in empire? And how many tearful stories about lost badgers with plexes, implants and Orca blueprint copies in cargo did you hear from your suicided friends? Do you remember goon’s blob helping your enemies to reinforce your autpost? Remember the soaring prices of oxygen izotopes, planetary stuff and plexes at last! How do you think who financed Jita’s burn? Who is sponsoring suicides and goon’s jihad in empire? The same carebears who currently live in peace in Deklein and Venal. And who plays with the market and speculates on innovations? The same carebears who rearrange market orders 24/7. And after that you still have sympathy for the poor yellow-black carebears? Well, then remember that if they got a chance to destroy your tower, to burn your Orca in a belt, to suicide your industrial in hisec, to sell a plex to you at an inflated double cost - they would not hesitate to do it, but the subjunctive here doesn't suit - they're doing it now, at this very moment, with every one of us, and specifically with you!

I lol'd.
Nicely done.

Hehehe sweet...

So you stole a single dread from the richest alliance in the game?

Congrats I guess.

I love this guy.

it actually is the point
and not only that. title is misleading. you just stole a ship from a character, not an corp/alliance and definitely didn't pwn anyone.
most likely you are from an nullsec alliance red to goons but act like an hisec carebear. if so i doubt you've made any profit, because you'll go back to hisec, sell moros but it will have to cover time lost on training to use it with capital modules and skillbook costs. also if you're carebear you'll go back to hisec and start grinding your lvl4 missions,
i feel sorry for you.

Well.. that was disappointing.

i havent laughed this hard in a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg time!!! you did great! the idea of payback on the goons is an idea i have been mulling for a long time but never could figure the best way to do it. 7000-1 just seems overwhelming. but the idea of stealth bomb runs...hmm classic. you're a great inspiration and thanks for the laughs at goons expense!