Out of Pod Experience

There needs to be a specific rule: Football shall be called Football and American Football shall be called Handegg. Otherwise, confusion and bickering.

29/04/12 - 14.26 ST - CHELSEA BEAT QPR, TORRES BUYS HIMSELF A FIFTH FERRARI

As a bump/blog/news ticker sorta thing:

After a weekend of crazy results in the Premier League, Chelsea striker Fernando Torres looks to have topped the lot. Yea, Wigan may have beat Newcastle 4-0 but Torres scored a hat-trick of some recognizable quality and that, dear readers, is something new...

Torres' first goal was reminiscent of his goal against Barcelona in the Champion's League last weekend, as he rounded tubby Irish goalkeeper Paddy Kenny like a comet briefly deviating around a large interstellar body via force of gravity and slid the ball home after a nice through ball from Kalou. Kalou, incidentally, did bugger all well for the remainder of the entire match.

The second of the Spaniard's hat-trick was a little more scrappy but no less "Fernando'esque", when he took advantage of a playground-level mix up between Kenny and leftback lightening-heels Onuoha to nip over a pile of chubby Irishman and smack home from close range.

Torres' third was the classiest, but also least convincing of the three, as Torres rushed clear on Kenny from a sexy Mata through-ball but looked to take an extra touch. Luckily he was playing QPR and had more than enough time to form for a passing shot from left into the far right corner. He almost ruined that as well, though, as he didn't find the ideal angle and lofted the ball a bit, giving Kenny time to bounce some flab off it as it roved through his spread eagle and into the far right corner.

Other scorers included a suspiciously classy goal from Sturridge - his heel looked to have been punched by the ground and that may have been what sent the ball in with such aplomb - a header from Mr Misunderstood John Terry and close finish from substitute Malouda.

Djibril Cisse, of former Liverpool fame, grabbed a consolation and thanks to that QPR remain ahead on goal difference over their closest rivals Bolton by 1 goal. Whoop-dee-doo. Chelsea are in 5th place now but Tottenham Hotspurs are about to take the field. I guess that means Chelsea are assured of their 5th spot.

Goal of the game: Gotta be Torres' third. People might give props to Sturridge for his fluke'y curler but the through-ball and run from the two Spaniards Mata and Torres was a work of art that didn't belong in the Premier League.

Fact of the match: Djibril Cisse has either scored or been sent off in all of his showings for QPR.

ON TO THE OTHER hot topics of the Premier League. Let's have a focus on Liverpool.

Now, I am of the innocent opinion that Liverpool are going to do much better next season. I don't know if they'll get back into the top four but I am without a doubt that their young stars will do what Konscielny has done for Arsenal and grow into the squad/the league.

A brief look, if you will, at five key players and how I think they will fare. Steven Gerrard, Andy Carroll, Luis Suarez, Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing.

It's not secret that Liverpool have failed because they didn't score enough winners, or goals in general. It's also no secret that they hit the post more times than any other team in the league, and are probably among the worst team hit by own-goals. If you ask me there is one key symptom that has lead to these deficiencies, and that is a lack of confidence and team cohesion.

STEVEN GERRARD
The Liverpool captain cannot be excused thanks to his injury. He got about a quarter of a season to settle back in and at least come close to dominating games like he did under Rafa Benitez. He didn't. Gerrard looks slow, looks weak and looks like he's forgotten how to pass, tackle and move off the ball. As I said earlier, I think this is down to confidence and cohesion. Suarez is not all that dissimilar to Torres in his strengths and ideas - he is always looking to make a good run off the ball and is a deadly finisher (though he might be a bit more versatile, and certainly more technically gifted, than Fernando had ever been) and Gerrard should be able to link up with him better next season if they are played closer together.

All in all though I think Gerrard is fading badly. It's a surprise to me that Gerrard is the one to fall first out of the great Lampard vs Gerrard rivalry of the late 00s, but that's what's happening and I think they need to replace him.

ANDY CARROLL
There is young talent that's going places in Liverpool, and then there is Andy Carroll. I don't think he's all that far off from his best for Newcastle but he's just not firing as much as he did. It's clear to me - at the risk of being a broken record - that he is suffering from a total lack of understanding with his strike partner Suarez as well as with his suppliers. He really needs to get another half season under his belt, of regular football, before he is capable of making any kind of magic in tandem with his support. On the plus side, I don't think he can get any worse for Liverpool.

LUIS SUAREZ
He's the future of Liverpool's attack. Whether he becomes a lynchpin creative striker like Aguero or morphs into a replacement for Gerrad in the pocket. I think Suarez can improve at least 100% in his next season. If the team starts working better he might re-capture his form for Ajax which saw him score more goals than games played a few seasons ago. He really is a bag of goals, Liverpool just aren't a good enough passing team to unlock him.

JORDAN HENDERSON
I think there's a reason why so much was paid for Jordan. He is a kid with real potential to be just what Liverpool need him to be - a holding midfielder who can pass, much like Alonso before him. He's not performed this year because he hasn't had a captain in Steven Gerrard playing near him and telling him to pick his game up, or telling him what kinds of passes to try and make. He's had Lucas and Charlie Adam who barely know any more than he does. He will improve next year if he gets a run of games next to an old head who knows what the hell he's doing.

STEWART DOWNING
Yeah he had a bad season but people saying he's a crap signing - like he's Fabian Delph or something - are being utterly unreasonable. Downing was excellent for Borough and Aston Villa, and if the next manager of Liverpool can find a place for him in the starting line-up I'm sure he'll benefit from a more mobile and confident group of forwards to aim at.

In closing, I think that if Liverpool get a good man management coach - someone like Rafa Benitez - this summer, they'll click much better and enjoy the kind of upturn in form and consistency that is usually only reserved for teams managed by Martin O'Neill.

Dear Capsuleer,


I - and other pod pilots - cannot find any mention of the game 'EVE Online' in this thread, which is extremely surprising as it was placed in the 'EVE Online General Discussion' sub-forum. Could you help an old Amarrian slaver out and point out the links to the game "EVE Online", please?

Yours sincerely,


Gorki Andropov (an old Amarrian slaver)

I personally can't wait to see the girls do their Gymnastics in London this year.

:D

Or to see how many Bhutanese go for the Olympic gold in Archery! It IS their national sport, after all.

:D

Moderators must still be sleeping - OUT of POD is that way ------->>>>>>

Out of curiosity, why do people actually care so much for football? I can understand watching a game when deprived of any entertainment, but why the obsession to one particular team? I mean, I see life long fans almost dedicating their entire spare time to a team they will never play on, and never interact with.

I even see it at work, people discussing this team or that, as if it was really important to them, like on a personal level. Maybe it is just me, but I don't see the investment of time and effort into a game I am no part of as a good thing :)