Crime & Punishment

I don't see what relation this thread has to incursions, and I'm sure no one would be silly enough to attempt an HQ with only 4 pilots...

LOL! God I hate you guys. Miner/mfg by trade here but I can't help but laugh at this crap. Keep up the kills, er... environmental protection

Vexx

tl;dr

High sec miner kills? And?

Guys.....The RP subsection is over...... oh **** it.

Dude, the whole alt posting thing is a very, very overdone gig. Please come up with something new.

MOLDEN HEATH ENVIRONMENTAL AUTHORITY
INSPECTION REPORT – MAY 2012


I am pleased to present to you the official Molden Heath Environmental Authority (MHEA) Inspection Report for the month of May, 2012. I would like to commend our authorized agents The Executioners (TEXN) and The humbleless Crew (THC2) and their teams of diligent Mining Inspectors for their exceptional work this month.


A total of 47 exhumers and 5 mining barges failed to produce licenses when inspected during the month, and as a result all were sanctioned. This outstanding effort has cost illegal miners approximately 11 billion ISK. Ships sanctioned were as follows:
Hulks - 36
Mackinaws - 12
Covetors - 2
Retrievers - 3


I would also like to highlight some of the notable work that was done during the month:
• Razor Z, Mining Inspector #7 is our Mining Inspector of the Month. He showed a real commitment to his work, often working double shifts to ensure that illegal miners were found and sanctioned.
• Mining Inspectors Cylocibin and Den Ukendte were both very vigilant during the month, pursuing miscreants with great passion. I have no doubt that they will soon be considered for the Inspector of the Month award
• Mane Frehm, Mining Inspector #14 spent much of the month working with probationary inspectors and setting up our Inspector Training program, which was launched late in the month.

In the course of our work, each illegal miner that is sanctioned receives a followup EveMail to educate them on the error of their ways. We have now received some fascinating correspondence from illegal miners who expressed a wide variety of opinions.
In order to properly recognize these illegal miners, I am pleased to announce our very first “Tears are not Enough” Competition, where prizes are being awarded to the best replies from illegal miners in each of 4 categories.

And the winners are:

Category 1: I didn’t need that ship anyway!

From: xxxxxxx (Name redacted)
my loss of the hulk current price 276 million has already been replaced and i put 5 more into build. After they are completed and sold i will profit 1.5 billion. you just gave me a reason to build a few more hulks lol.

Category 2: You are in big trouble now. My friends and I will hunt you down forever.

From: xxxxxxxxxx (Name redacted)
I've changed my mind. I have invested 500 million in the scouts are looking for you and your alts. Another 5 billion for the fun you do not have to rely more stations.
Everything is addressed personally to YOU. You'll be able to hide in ANY fleet you loser.
I hope we have fun in the game. Safe flight!

Category 3: I know some bad words.

From: xxxxxx (Name redacted)
Go and take an anus first dive into a field full of dildo's


Category 4: You are a bad person. I can no longer play Eve because of what you did.

From: xxxxxxxx (Name redacted)
If this was legit, i would believe you, but i don't. You took away my hulk. That was my only means of me making any good isk. I have had to cancel my 2nd account because of this. You have hurt me financially here at home. I will not take food out of my kids mouths to pay you. I had to buy a plex so i can sell it to continue to play this game. If i can't sell it, then i will have to quite this game. I have enjoyed playing Eve until now. But people like you sure know how to ruin it. I will report this. I may now have to give this game up.

Thanks so much
You are a personal jerk.
Have a nice day.
And i'm sure you can careless. You are most likely rich with no family and have no consious.


The winner of categories 2, 3 and 4 will receive a congratulatory Eve Mail (their CEO will also receive a copy), their choice of a brand new Retriever or Covetor and a special 3 day license to mine in Molden Heath. The winner of category 1 will receive the same congratulatory Eve Mail and license, but clearly no Retriever or Covetor is required. We will run the contest again when sufficient quality replies are received.

I would also like to advise you that I will shortly be stepping down from my position as CEO of the MHEA. I am pleased to announce that Exa Byte, a Gallente environmentalist with exceptional credentials will be taking over as CEO. He is fully aware of the challenges we are facing, and is eager to begin work.

The MHEA thanks all of you for your efforts and looks forward to another successful month. Good luck and happy inspecting.


Mythical ManMonth
Chairman and CEO
Molden Heath Environmental Authority

Mine in a safe and environmentally sound way - get a license today
http://mhea.podpilot.org/

(get the **** out)