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Crime & Punishment

 
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Grand Theft Navy Apoc
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Zedrik Cayne
Standards and Practices
#1 - 2012-05-02 07:48:45 UTC
I found a guy mining in a navy apoc.

He wasn't very smart.

http://zedrikcayne.blogspot.com/2012/05/grand-theft-navy-apoc.html

TL;DR Version: There is a navy apoc contract up in Jita..someone go buy it.

I honestly feel like I just read fifty shades of dumb. --CCP Falcon
Lyrrashae
Hellstar Towing and Recovery
#2 - 2012-05-02 07:59:31 UTC
You're back!

Yaaaay'z!

All is now right with the world.

Ni.
Rond Dorlezahn
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#3 - 2012-05-02 08:02:44 UTC
...my God.
Zedrik Cayne
Standards and Practices
#4 - 2012-05-02 08:08:21 UTC
Lyrrashae wrote:
You're back!

Yaaaay'z!

All is now right with the world.


I never left..but someone else managed to find the dumb people. This time...I found him first.

I honestly feel like I just read fifty shades of dumb. --CCP Falcon
Miregar Shakor
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#5 - 2012-05-02 08:50:24 UTC
Dear God...
Zarere
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2012-05-02 08:58:14 UTC
Finally some real content on C&P again.
Ifly Uwalk
Perkone
Caldari State
#7 - 2012-05-02 09:14:52 UTC
My last dealings involving a navy apoc were when I sold one for... ca. 350K.

That's right, "K" not "M."

"This order is 99% below average..." - "Screw you let's do this... Wait, what?... NOOOOO!"

vOv
Garven Dreis
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#8 - 2012-05-02 10:13:06 UTC
This thread is so awesome I can't even comprehend. The Mach would've been a sweet kill aswell. 49mil on hand aye? People never seem to have a reasonable amount of ISK on them these days..

Terrible Poster Runner-up 2014
Corbin Blair
Doomheim
#9 - 2012-05-02 11:13:16 UTC
Zedrik Cayne wrote:
I found a guy mining in a navy apoc.

He wasn't very smart.

http://zedrikcayne.blogspot.com/2012/05/grand-theft-navy-apoc.html

TL;DR Version: There is a navy apoc contract up in Jita..someone go buy it.

I love you in a totally nongay way.
Drunein
Blackwater USA Inc.
Pandemic Horde
#10 - 2012-05-02 11:41:39 UTC
Best read on C&P in quite some time. Well done sir.

+1
Kaaeliaa
Tyrannos Sunset
#11 - 2012-05-02 12:49:08 UTC
Sweet Raptor Jesus, that is a very impressive amount of dumb on that guy's part. Flying around in a Navy Apoc and a Mach, with 49 mil in the bank...looks like someone never learned the first two rules of EVE.

It's really too bad you didn't get the killmail. ISK will come and go, but the epic lulz will last forever. At least we have this thread.

Well played, OP.

"Do not lift the veil. Do not show the door. Do not split the dream."
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2012-05-02 12:54:59 UTC
Damn nice...

Although I would have popped it since it is only a few hundred mil and looks much nicer on a KB.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk
Naga Elohim
Aeras Krekan Syndicate
#13 - 2012-05-02 13:16:12 UTC
I cried laughing. Thanks for a good morning laugh!

"C'mon bro let me live...pwwweeeeese? U can haz 49 mil." lol
Zedrik Cayne
Standards and Practices
#14 - 2012-05-02 13:20:17 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
Damn nice...

Although I would have popped it since it is only a few hundred mil and looks much nicer on a KB.


The killboard bling would have been epically nice. But when someone ejects and runs like that (If you haven't threatened the pod)..they are only doing one thing: Reshipping.

And there was no way the pop-gun laser I was using was going to chew through the remaining armor before the reship occurred.

So I'll take the next story to tell in the bars.

I honestly feel like I just read fifty shades of dumb. --CCP Falcon
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
#15 - 2012-05-02 15:11:12 UTC  |  Edited by: silens vesica
Holy god.
Shocked

Bless you, good Sir, for saving that Apoc from its horrbly abusive and undeniably moronic owner. I'm sure its new owner, no matter how lame, will be a vast improvement.


Also: How does someone that stupid remember to breath?

Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc
Kazacy
BACKFIRE Squad
#16 - 2012-05-02 15:45:15 UTC
unfortunately the forum allows me to give you only +1, but oh boy was a very good read. maybe a wardec in the future?
Ashrun Dir
Love for You
#17 - 2012-05-02 15:55:38 UTC
Zedrik Cayne wrote:
I found a guy mining in a navy apoc.

He wasn't very smart.

http://zedrikcayne.blogspot.com/2012/05/grand-theft-navy-apoc.html

TL;DR Version: There is a navy apoc contract up in Jita..someone go buy it.


Bump for a hilariously good story.
Zedrik Cayne
Standards and Practices
#18 - 2012-05-02 16:31:00 UTC
Kazacy wrote:
unfortunately the forum allows me to give you only +1, but oh boy was a very good read. maybe a wardec in the future?


If only one could dec an NPC corp.

I have another story from last night. Which actually ended in kabooms. But this guy came along before I put it up.

I honestly feel like I just read fifty shades of dumb. --CCP Falcon
Jacob Staffuer
Doomheim
#19 - 2012-05-02 16:41:35 UTC
After three years of reading stuff like this I have to say... it's pretty boring now.
Lady Spank
Get Out Nasty Face
#20 - 2012-05-02 18:52:37 UTC
I'm surprised that someone with the smarts to fly a mining napoc turned out to be such a cretin.

I nano fit mine so I could scoot from roid to roid with grace and speed. A 3km/s mining battleship was a thing of beauty.

(ಠ_ృ) ~ It Takes a Million Years to Become Diamonds So Lets Just Burn Like Coal Until the Sky's Black ~ (ಠ_ృ)
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