Crime & Punishment

So as an attept to breathe new life into Eve before my account expires, i wanted to try nullsec life.
I applied for a nullsec corp. and was surprisingly accepted for after a rather lengthy interview over TS, where i had to lie through my teeth on-the-fly on how my prior corp and alliance history and had to duck and play dumb on all sorts of questions re: TEARS and something to do with guys TK flew with or something. Wife giggling in the background calling me a bullshi*$%rdid not help.

anyway all of a sudden, i see the corp accepted mail.



For the first 15 seconds i must admit i truly did not intend to do harm to this corp. The interviewer seemed like a kind sounding man, who was naive enough to let ME in, i could not be so low as to do anything bad could i??

For what seemed like an eternity, i waited for that 15 seconds to pass.. and it eventually did.. and my 3 or 4 neurons i have left from all of the oil i have been smoking fired into absolute OVERDRIVE.

I wanted to go to null, to do some PVP, mebbe rat some fation loot drops etc. but NO this was impossible… these #$%# rained on my parade… this was not happening… THEY LIVED IN DRONE SPACE! No rat bounties, no rat drops, no further interest in this corp at all from Buzzy.

I log in ready to do an infamous QQ filled Buzzy ragequit, and see one person in the force field that they were building their work-in-progress POS in. I was inside the bubble, he was inside the bubble…in a Legion .. but i could not target him!. i wanted to pod the AFK-CEO bad. I asked in dojo and someone suggested bumping him out of the bubble.

I was in my trusty Interdiction/Cloaky Loki.

5 or 6 bumps later he was outside and all of a sudden, out of nowhere this happened.
[KILLMAIL FROM CEO's LEGION] I was jovial to say the least.
I followed up with one of these for good measure. [KILLMAIL FROM CEO POD]

So im like “now what Buzzy?” theres a bunch of buildings floating around in this bubble force field thing, lets go explore.

One was an obvious item-drop hangar, i clicked ****, “no access to view contents”…darn these dudes are SMART. got me locked out of stuff…

Another one of the floaty bubble buildings was one that said something about ships. I guess me, or other people could park ships in or something… i flew over and right clicked the **** out of it.
options showed something like “park your ship” and “take a ship” or something along those lines, i looked in and saw a crapload of ships. loki, haulers, dramiel, ashimmu etc. . i noticed there was an “eject ship button' i highlighted the loki, and ejected it right before my very eyes!

i boarded said Loki, and was in awe of the faction shinies.
I reboarded my loki, , and took off my DG Web put it in cargo,jettisoned the CEO biomass+ faction web, and reboarded the nicer Loki that had that ‘new car smell’

i then proceeded to dump the other ships in this ship bay into the bubble hopping into and out of them looking for faction **** to eject into my newly jacked loki.

OH SNAP

a few guys from corp/alliance come in and i cloak up, in my new loki. The gig is up….


I log onto TS. and wait…..

an hour or so later, the CEO logs on TS FREAKING OUT. ”guys? how did i end up in my medical station? were we attacked?“ lots of tears on TS as he found out someone bumped him out into space and left a can next to his wreck with the name ”love BB“.
”WHO THE **** IS BB????? BUZZYBEAGLE IS THAT YOU??!?!?!!“
i respond with one word….in a hushed whisper……”umadbro?"
RAGE ensues and i go eat supper.

I come back and this PM was opened with the CEO


CEO > i just want to know why.
CEO > we seemed to get along ok
CEO > i mean you came all the way out here, joined my corp to get a lousy legion kill? is it that hard to get kills in empire?
CEO > help me understand
CEO > i literally feel physically sick right now
CEO > did i wrong you somehow?
CEO > just tell me why
CEO> i think i derserve that much

I am glad i was afk and he closed convo, as my conscience would have kicked in [probably not] and i may have tried to make amends.

I followed up with this email to the entire corp:


Invoice 12114
From: BuzzyBeagle
Sent: 2012.04.14 00:12
To: CORP NAME HERE
The following invoice is for services rendered
- teaching someone starting a corp not to trust new people 100 million ISK
- teaching someone not to AFK in a bubble when new people are in corp 250 million ISK
- teaching someone that you do not give full hangar access to a 1 day old ninja in corp… 500 million ISK.
- Dumbass tax - 150 million ISK

amount total - 1 Billion ISK

amount is payable in full or you will be subject to further actions which may include any of the following: violence, op interruptions, further infiltrations.

love and kisses - Buzzy






annnyway i get the obigatory “$%^& you” in corp as they have not kicked me from corp yet. and all of a sudden, i get PAID. not in ISK, but in tears, juicy buttery fat old man tears, they tasted a little like cinnamon buns.

enjoy:

Re: Invoice 12114
From: CEO
Sent: 2012.04.14 03:05
To: BuzzyBeagle,

Your beef is obviously with me, although I do not know why. That being said I have resigned as CEO of [CORPNAME] and am quitting the game.

Please leave my friends alone for they have nothing to do with this. You got what you got and forced me to leave to protect them. I willnot return to this game as a result. Youve won. They are good guys and do not deserve to suffer for my failure.

I hope me leaving the game satisfies my debt to you as i do not have any isk to give nor do they.

Peace

CEO


anyway i thought you guys would enjoy my last hurrah. my game time expires 9PM Saturday and i think i need a break from gaming in general.

fly safe and much love


Buzzy.

I fairly nicely ask a mining barge i just killed for 50million isk for me to not kill him again, here is the mail i got back (censored copy)

Re: Suicide Gank Protection
From: (Barge pilot)
Sent: 2012.04.14 03:44
To: Assassin126,

**** YOU YOU **** *** DOUCHE BAG!!!!!!!!!!! YOU AND YOUR SCUMBAG FRIENDS CAN **** OFF YOU STUPID, IGNORANT M*********ING WASTE OF SKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Seriously, the manners of some people in high security space is badly deteriorating...

I truly hope you showed this barge pilot the error of his ways.

I feel sorry for Buzzy. He didn't deserve to end up in drone space.

Today's grand tale of buggery comes to us through the tried and true methods of game mechanics.

As most of you know, our alliance enjoys a good bit of mucking about in wormholes. As such, we know how to have a bit of fun when it comes to wormhole games.

So we've been assaulting this system since last friday. So far, we've removed some poses, killed some people, brokered deals to get certain people out (they left that alliance after getting out) and being a general nuisance. But they've been taunting us with a chimera all week, and we REALLY want that thing dead.

Cut to a few minutes ago. Their chimera pilot logs in, starts moving about a bit in a reinforced **** caged pos. As you know, there's a mechanic at work where if you warp in a **** cage, you get aggression. So this pilot slips out the shield and manages to warp around a bit before the pilot logged off. So we grab our bloodthirsty gang of mates and scanned the bastard down. We drop right on top with our fleet and engage it. Since there was a 15 minute timer on it, and we bubbled it, you can guess that it ended poorly for those folk. One cap kill AND a trip to high sec later, the pilot logs back in. We would have taunted in local, were it not for that pilot taking a route back to high sec.

So, all in all, these guys are down two carriers, a 5 bil orca, numerous pos, and their system is overrun with enemies. We plan on posting a good thread about it soon.

Depends, I know I've rage quit when I lost my first abaddon in PVE when I got called away for 5 minutes. I guess it comes down to experience and realising that **** is replaceable

I'd add in an information panel off to a corner or else just some small text in the lower middle portion of the screen that provides some small commentary. "Caught this war target with some buddies" or "Convinced this guy to shoot me and he ran and got his drake" or whatever. Anything that puts the fight into some context enriches the viewing experience imo. If PiP is a bit above the editing software you have at the moment then I'd put it in the little intro shot you have and place that before every fight for 5 seconds or so.

Also I'd add in either an ISK destroyed listing "Navy Caracal: 487 million with fittings" or else a screenshot of the killmail at the end (pulled from battleclinic, evekill, etc) with it viewable, at least for any high ISK kills.

Basically have your video tell a very short story that stands by itself, especially if you plan to have a channel where people may see the video without reading the background in the thread. Also don't trust people to read your youtube descriptions either for commentary which is why I didn't suggest you just add it there.

Just my 2 cents.

Not a very amazing story, yet a funny one to share, inspired by the numerous cool stories here.

In our C2 static was a single Buzzard online.

In there was a POS without proper defences, no hardeners, etc and the dude acted like a total noob.

So, after some flying around and me watching their pos in a stealth bomber, he warped out, cloaked up somewhere, warped back, warped to a planet and started probing without cloaking up.

After some d-scanning like a boss by a corp mate (from another direction) and me we had 5 possible locations, turned out he was at the 2nd one of that.
I warped in at 20km, he warped to zero it seems (dont warp to zero!) as I ended up being 15km from it, perfect range for a suprise attack.
I aligned to him, enabled disruptor, webber and target painter, decloaked and targetted him: instapoint.
Orbitting at 1km, he stayed silent.

I asked two corpmates to warp in on me, but not attack yet.
They warped in, targetted/locked him, pointed him down aswell (3 points, 3 or 4 webs on him and a target painter) and I opened a convo.
The rest of the story, as follows:



Here my wallet starts to blink, and i can confirm: 100m in the pocket!



Then in fleet chat:
NoxiousPluK > open fire :) i got 100m ^^



Some general ****/chat followed, and i invited him into our public channel.
He still should be there :) seems an okay dude after all.

Killmails:

http://killboard.jovianlegacy.net/index.php/kill_detail/215/
http://killboard.jovianlegacy.net/index.php/kill_detail/214/

Ransom unhonored: thumbs down from me mate

Not piracy in the pewwy kind, but I guess it could technically count under some definitions. I stayed up late last night, after a particularly gruelling day of doing nothing, orbiting a POS in a C5, with 2 low-sec holes open. Everyone in the C5 logged off, and funnily enough, I'd just watched the Causality trailer from a while back. In my tired state, I thought to myself "yeah... that's cool". Earlier in the day, my CEO had given me access to the blueprints hangar division. My skills being utterly terrible, I decided "let's do this". Three minutes later, and... oh, I can't make any ammo. Looks like I accidentally took all the blueprints and put them in a station in my Drake! Oh dear, some T3 loot too.

Next up was the Phoenix they had. Three minutes later and it was docked up lovely in a station, along with an Orca. Now, at this point, I could have gotten more. However, 3am spur of the moment decisions are'nt the most thought through, typically, so when I saw a Merlin/Harpy/whatever it was at the hole, I warped back to station, leaving the other Orca (apparantly full of T3 ships/subs worth billions) and a bunch of battleships behind and called it a night.

Waking up this morning, I checked my assets and gave a mighty "Oooohhhhhhhhh ****" to the wall, realising that I now had somewhere between 8 billion and 12 billion ISK worth of stuff in my hangar. Rightly so, my roles were removed by now and I was tasked with getting the stuff out of low-sec (except the Phoenix, of course). So - still in corp and shootable, I waited 12 hours thanks to college (much of which was spent good naturedly chatting to a few members of the corp and recieving some congratulations from one or two of them for my "master ninjary") before being banned after a final goodbye (as expected), and then got my alt (also -10'd) to move them in a Kestrel with Inertia stabs. I should note that my main was at this point in a Velator running away from a gang of 6 of them who were chasing me, presumably hoping that I had stuff on me (I had 1 tritanium). Everything is now safely in hi-sec, and only one or two players are mad at me, with the rest in begrudging acceptance (that or I suck at reading emotions).


tl;dr stole billions from corp while half asleep, dealt a major blow to alliance accidentally, I shouldn't play EVE while tired. Spent 0 ISK to do it.