Intergalactic Summit

This is the best and first thread on EVE to have warranted a post in my limited time here. Wonderful stuff.

Thought provoking? That comment gave me a chortle.

Sure, the prose is nice, but the concepts fall short.

I am pleased to report I have acquired another twenty gigologling adolescents (sadly, no freckle-faced Inatiki teens among them this time) from various Navy facilities in the Domain region. No surprise there, really. "Avatar," quite. "In the Navy, we shoot big... laser beams! In the Navy, armor's busting at the seams... In the..." Yes, sweetie? All right, tell the other boys you can be the cowboy this time.

Switching positions teaches versatility!

Why is this relevant?

*Sex!*

Yes, in a nut... shell so to speak, contemporary tribalism has become nothing more than a dense pebble orbiting the feeble glow of Gallente democratic intellectualism's fading star. It's about as sexy as a Servent Sister of EVE's unrevived jump clone. Liber-tay, egali-tay, fratrici-day! Ironically, that rocky union between one civilization of libertine hipsters and another of tribal savages birthed not a frenzied orgy between the stars, but a whole lot of "gal" sans any "wa wa wa." Consequently, it falls to those of us in oppressive societies to remind ostensible "tribalists" how to put the dingaling in the whoodang.

More oil, bunnies!

Now, see, being in one tribe means not being in any other. It shouldn't need to be said, and yet apparently it does. The strong tribes rise and sell the weak to sexual predators light years away. Oh! Dirty little secret! Amarrians did *not* tromp all over those rustic planets looking for Sebiestor to pull out of dark holes all on our *own*. Consequently, while guilt over having sold bajillions of "their people" into stomping naked around bonfires on Hilaban... Yes, sweetie? A blister! On your widdle footsie! Lift it up so Mummy can kiss it... kissy kissy... just a dollop of special sauce and... good as new!

"Viziam. For your soft tissue repair needs."

Little plug I'm supposed to do. Where was I? Sex... fornication... tribalism... Right!

Lingering guilt might better explain Republic "outrage" over conditions suffered by "their people" abroad than libert-tay-tay tripe, but even guilt is a concession to flaccid, bourgeois tribalism. Tribes contend. Tribes dominate or submit. Tribalism is not intellectual, it is deeply, deeply sexual. Mind you, even those sold into slavery have not been removed from the Circle of Life - "The Circle of Life!" - completely. Udorians were slaves once. Now, the Udorian Tash-Murkon sit beside other Heirs.

Which is to say, someday, a tribe that once submitted might produce an Emperor or Empress.

I suspect the odds are long - oh, behave! - that any of my boys will grow up to be Emperor. However, in line with the premise of gaining strength from submission, they *have* learned many tricks here in Hilaban's therapeutic mud baths or out there between the stars. When they reach the age of 27, I will free them. Some have only a few years to go! Free, they will carry the lessons of our little cult back to the once actually tribal no really long long ago Republic.

I've already mentioned the intellectual appeal a "devourer" of capsuleers might enjoy among "baseline" populations. But to hook the young, we must appeal to the groin, bring back the primal urgency of contention inherent in true tribal relations - we must recapture the heart of the wolf, and devour those penurious, emasculating Gallente screeds!

More oil!