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Crime & Punishment

 
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Old, dead carebears: 9.5 Billion ISK solo miner gank
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Herr Wilkus
Aggressive Salvage Services LLC
#1 - 2012-04-20 09:57:17 UTC  |  Edited by: Herr Wilkus
I've killed so many hundreds of miners.... they all kind of blend together in a faceless, crying mass.
But when I spotted six 2003 characters haplessly mining Ice in Brapalille, my ganker sense tingled.

Five Mackinaws with Orca support, faction fit, yet still badly fit, EXP hole. All easily within Smartbomb range.

Buck Futz (Suddenly Violence) is blessed with maxed-out Smartbomb skills, so I called him in for this one and provided a fully fit Discophoon. With only one Phoon in an 0.7 system - I figured it would be close, but that 'ragged' 4th heavy cap-boosted SB volley would do the trick.

So, prespawned Concord safely off-grid, then provided Buck a good tight cloaked warp-in.
Result?
A fantastic, 9.5+ Billion ISK mess in 22.5 seconds flat.

5x dead faction fit Macks - 850M
http://y0ink.us/killboard/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=25656

Alli - 3 Billion in implants
http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=13116304
Kain D'Worker - 1.1 Billion in implants
http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=13116332
Thelma - 2 Billion in implants
http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=13116337
Barfolemew - 1.1 Billion in implants
http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=13116344
Bragiboga - 1.1 Billion in implants
http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=13116348

Aaaaand.....Clone replacement: 325M

And these guys weren't just any carebears....but some of the oldest carebears in the game!
http://eveboard.com/ranks
http://eveboard.com/statistics/corporation/Orbital_Industries

Victim convoed me, and a post-gank chat revealed:

-he participated in the beta testing and started some of his chars on day 1.
-3 of them had never been podded before, because he spends 90% of his time in highsec.
-doesn't like blowing things up 'because he knows how much work it takes to make things'
-didn't know about killboards.
-did not understand 'how a -10 pilot could attack him' in highsec! (lol)
-No tears, other than a 'confused, how/why did you do that' sentiment....but I didn't expect them. Anyone who has played since 2003 has both ample ISK reserves and a sense of perspective about getting ganked.)

Kind of amazing how people can play this game for nearly a decade - and still not understand how it works.
But when you spend it all running LVL 4's, manufacturing and ice mining - I suppose it limits your exposure.

Maybe not as cool as TEARS killing Chribba,
but killing over 9.5B in assets for a single 80M ISK Typhoon....? Money well spent.
Oh wait, with the drops and T2 salvage, its was actually kind of profitable. My mistake.

Carebears beware!

EDIT: Sorry for the ugly hyperlinks - CCP still can't be bothered to fix their broken forums. "There was an issue with parsing this posts BBC code'. Bring back the old forums!!!! Oh, and math fail!
Tauranon
Weeesearch
CAStabouts
#2 - 2012-04-20 10:10:56 UTC
Well played sir!
Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
Senpai's Afterschool Anime and Gaming Club
#3 - 2012-04-20 10:19:23 UTC
I am speechless. Especially about the bullet points you provided regarding the 2003, active player.

Our children will sing songs of your deeds on this day.

I wrote some true EVE stories! And no, they're not of the generic "my 0.0 alliance had lots of 0.0 fleets and took a lot of 0.0 space" sort. Check them out here:

https://truestories.eveonline.com/users/2074-destiny-corrupted
Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
Goonswarm Federation
#4 - 2012-04-20 10:42:20 UTC
You sir are a great visionary and an inspiration!

TunDraGon is recruiting! "Also, your boobs [:o] "   CCP Eterne, 2012 "When in doubt...make a diȼk joke." Robin Williams - RIP
Devil's Call
Social safety
#5 - 2012-04-20 10:59:48 UTC
Are you sure he wasn't just trolling you in that convo? I can barely imagine that somebody from 2003 doesn't know EVERYTHING about the game, or at least basics like this...

Nicely done either way, and well written post. Bear
Aesheera
Doomheim
#6 - 2012-04-20 11:15:13 UTC
Devil's Call wrote:
Are you sure he wasn't just trolling you in that convo? I can barely imagine that somebody from 2003 doesn't know EVERYTHING about the game, or at least basics like this...

Nicely done either way, and well written post. Bear


Being '03 doesnt always mean 'playing since '03'.

Still, fun stuff.

- I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes. And I don't think people are ready for the message that I'm delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love.
Jint Hikaru
OffWorld Exploration Inc
#7 - 2012-04-20 11:40:01 UTC
Nice work my good sir, I tip my hat to you!

Jint Hikaru - Miner / Salvager / Explorer / SpaceBum In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Herr Wilkus
Aggressive Salvage Services LLC
#8 - 2012-04-20 11:44:30 UTC
No, this guy has been playing since the beginning. Check the SP counts I posted in the links.
And yes, I've found that older carebears CAN be that ignorant of how EVE works. Granted, it is a big game - but MY failure to understand PI or nullsec politics doesn't get me ganked.

TEARS Motto, "Always bet on stupid".

But, really, this is the kind of stuff that makes ganking worthwhile.
I burned out a bit, took a short break.
Just got back into the swing of things - posted 100 Exhumer/pod kills in the last two days, and counting.

Really, no point in arguing about gank nerfs. Carebears just try to claim 'ganker tears' anyway.

Far better to just to experiment, practice, and keep your ganking tricks secret.....especially from the Devs/GMs.
Then start raping carebears on an industrial scale!
Let the KB's do the talking.
Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#9 - 2012-04-20 12:02:02 UTC
OP seems to be practically dripping with sexual excitement or SOMEthing........

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882
Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#10 - 2012-04-20 12:05:07 UTC  |  Edited by: Krixtal Icefluxor
Herr Wilkus wrote:

Victim convoed me, and a post-gank chat revealed:

-he participated in the beta testing and started some of his chars on day 1.
-3 of them had never been podded before, because he spends 90% of his time in highsec.
-doesn't like blowing things up 'because he knows how much work it takes to make things'
-didn't know about killboards.
-did not understand 'how a -10 pilot could attack him' in highsec! (lol)
-No tears, other than a 'confused, how/why did you do that' sentiment....but I didn't expect them. Anyone who has played since 2003 has both ample ISK reserves and a sense of perspective about getting ganked.)




Anyone who beleives this part needs an examined head.

And without those Implants, which everyone has anyway, the LOOT is typical and pathetic otherwise.

Nothing all that special to see here, Mr. Boomarang Exploit.

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882
Herr Wilkus
Aggressive Salvage Services LLC
#11 - 2012-04-20 12:10:37 UTC
Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:
Herr Wilkus wrote:

Victim convoed me, and a post-gank chat revealed:

-he participated in the beta testing and started some of his chars on day 1.
-3 of them had never been podded before, because he spends 90% of his time in highsec.
-doesn't like blowing things up 'because he knows how much work it takes to make things'
-didn't know about killboards.
-did not understand 'how a -10 pilot could attack him' in highsec! (lol)
-No tears, other than a 'confused, how/why did you do that' sentiment....but I didn't expect them. Anyone who has played since 2003 has both ample ISK reserves and a sense of perspective about getting ganked.)




Anyone who beleives this part needs an examined head.


Do I really have to post the chatlog and prove you wrong about this, just like I proved you wrong about chain-killing Exhumers with Tornados? Being a dumbass means never having to admit you are wrong, I suppose. Lol

Oh and that stuff I'm covered in? Miner tears.
Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#12 - 2012-04-20 12:14:45 UTC
Herr Wilkus wrote:


Oh and that stuff I'm covered in? Miner tears.



We don't care.

"CareBears don't care so much they don't come to your space, and they don't harass you, and indeed they don't even fight back. That is the ultimate don't care and there isn't anything you can do, short of dying of starvation, next to a pack of Cheetos, that will demostrate a don't care level beyond that of the CareBear."

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882
Swift Kaos
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#13 - 2012-04-20 12:15:36 UTC
I find all of the high sec gankers pathetic... Just whoring killmails with no risk involved. You probably will never see them in low sec, just because when ever they go in they just die in fire from Pirate's.

Suicide gankers = Carebears Shocked

Herr - HTFU, go to lowsec, kill something else than helpless miners and then come bragging in the forums.
Eryn Velasquez
#14 - 2012-04-20 13:34:21 UTC
Swift Kaos wrote:

Herr - HTFU, go to lowsec, kill something else than helpless miners and then come bragging in the forums.


Confirmed - this is nothing else than a "mom look, come look, i smashed the window from the neighbour while he's away" post

_“A man's freedom consists in his being able to do whatever he wills, but that he should not, by any human power, be forced to do what is against his will.” ― Jean-Jacques Rousseau _
Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#15 - 2012-04-20 13:40:44 UTC  |  Edited by: Krixtal Icefluxor
Eryn Velasquez wrote:
Swift Kaos wrote:

Herr - HTFU, go to lowsec, kill something else than helpless miners and then come bragging in the forums.


Confirmed - this is nothing else than a "mom look, come look, i smashed the window from the neighbour while he's away" post


Don't make me post Herr's ridiculous post-Gank Mail again.................

Besides, it's like they keep doing this and posting what CareBears are doing 'wrong', as if we would take their idiotic advice, and then they try yet again to see if we have adopted their ridiculous suggestions.

But isn't doing something over and over again expecting a changed result one of the clinical definitions of insanity IIRC?

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882
dave3NG
Finite Future
#16 - 2012-04-20 13:44:54 UTC
good read
Swift Kaos
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#17 - 2012-04-20 13:56:55 UTC
Just gonna leave it here Arrowhttp://imgur.com/fwF5u
FloppieTheBanjoClown
Arcana Imperii Ltd.
#18 - 2012-04-20 14:04:37 UTC
Swift Kaos wrote:
Just gonna leave it here Arrowhttp://imgur.com/fwF5u

I like that Big smile

Of course I've never seen Wilkus claim to be any sort of hardcore PVP expert. But still, good use of the meme.

Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.
Michael1995
Lazerhawks
L A Z E R H A W K S
#19 - 2012-04-20 14:04:38 UTC
Nice job on the pods! Smile
I too am amazed when I see someone with a 2003 birthdate and are pretty damn clueless of how things work in some of the most basic parts of the game. What?

Selling WH CFC Standings 10b/month for +10 with: Lazerhawks, Hard Knocks, Overwatch This, Many Vacancies, Golden Showers, Friendly Probes, Isogen Memed.

Join up for swag C3 Gila/Osprey ratting fleets daily! We also rent C2s out with CV effect!
Kristopher Rocancourt
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#20 - 2012-04-20 14:16:31 UTC
Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:
Herr Wilkus wrote:

Victim convoed me, and a post-gank chat revealed:

-he participated in the beta testing and started some of his chars on day 1.
-3 of them had never been podded before, because he spends 90% of his time in highsec.
-doesn't like blowing things up 'because he knows how much work it takes to make things'
-didn't know about killboards.
-did not understand 'how a -10 pilot could attack him' in highsec! (lol)
-No tears, other than a 'confused, how/why did you do that' sentiment....but I didn't expect them. Anyone who has played since 2003 has both ample ISK reserves and a sense of perspective about getting ganked.)




Anyone who beleives this part needs an examined head.

And without those Implants, which everyone has anyway, the LOOT is typical and pathetic otherwise.

Nothing all that special to see here, Mr. Boomarang Exploit.


ahhhh the obligatory butthurt carebear . no Herr thread is complete without one of these Santorum sucking crybabies

<3 BB

http://killalliance.co.uk/tears/tears-holeysheet/

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