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Crime & Punishment

 
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TF's Patented PI Leech Removal Service
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Trinkets friend
Sudden Buggery
Sending Thots And Players
#1 - 2012-04-13 08:25:56 UTC
Are YOU a mewling carebear living in a crappy low-end wormhole?
Are YOU doing PI, but you just can't strike it rich because some dastardly PI mafia is extorting you with their POCOs and you can't organise a way to burn them out and make them your own?

We here at Sudden Buggery know all too well the tyranny of wormhole PI taxes. In our research labs staffed with white coated scientist-looking types, we have beakers full of colourful liquid and autopippette machines filling up hundreds of test tubes daily. Why, you ask? Because it looks cool.

Our caged scientists have determined that you will get 30% more nookie from your spouse/yaoi hug pillow/bag of cheetos if you weren't in the thrall of standover tactics from empire-building rent-seekers. We know who they are, we just don't know where they are. You know where they are. Can you see where this is heading? Yeah, i thought you could.

Removal is discrete*, friendly**, and no-strings attached unlike the human sanitary products which are attempting to charge you for making POS fuel.

FDA Health Warning and Contraindications
Consult your gyneacologist. If he finds you have malformations including capitals, this treatment is not recommended for you.
TF's Patented PI Leech Removal Service is not recommended for those under the influence of hallucinogens, alhohol, erectile dysfunction drugs, or an IQ of 90.
Side effects may include aggressive camps, odd things on d-scan, and tears in local. Not yours, though. We're totes honorable.
Not recommended for those too lazy to pop their own interbus POCOs.

* - discretion cannot be guaranteed if it results in bulk killmails we want to brag about
** - friendliness cannot be guaranteed in all situations

~~ Localectomy Blog ~~
Nathan Jameson
Grumpy Bastards
#2 - 2012-04-13 12:26:27 UTC
I approve of this service merely because of the manner in which it is written.

http://www.wormholes.info
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
#3 - 2012-04-13 13:31:29 UTC
Damn.
Now I have to go get involved in PI so I can make use of this service.

Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc
Tauren Tom
Order of the Silver Dragons
Silver Dragonz
#4 - 2012-04-13 15:37:24 UTC
If I didn't think this would turn into a "This is where I'm living come help me.. OH GOD HE'S KILLING ME!"

I might have been interested >.>
In the grand scheme of things... You're all pubbies. So HTFU.   "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses." - Elwood Blues
Nathan Jameson
Grumpy Bastards
#5 - 2012-04-13 15:44:22 UTC
Tauren Tom wrote:
If I didn't think this would turn into a "This is where I'm living come help me.. OH GOD HE'S KILLING ME!"

I might have been interested >.>


You don't really need inside help to find someone in wormhole space. It's actually not that hard.

http://www.wormholes.info
Bernie Nator
Seal Club Six
Plug N Play
#6 - 2012-04-13 15:55:12 UTC
I'm more interested in those colorful liquids in varying degrees of beakers that he's holding. Those sound rather fun!

For Science!
Khanh'rhh
Sparkle Motion.
#7 - 2012-04-13 16:31:17 UTC
Tauren Tom wrote:
If I didn't think this would turn into a "This is where I'm living come help me.. OH GOD HE'S KILLING ME!"

I might have been interested >.>


There's really no reason why we would setup a fake service in order to gain access to random WHs to shooterise people, when there are dozens of other ways to find people to shoot, who won't be on-guard knowing they're inviting people in.

It's legit.

Even the sciencey bits.

"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally." -Soviet infantry manual,

Griznatch
Distinguished Gentleman's Boating Club
Domain Research and Mining Inst.
#8 - 2012-04-13 21:17:29 UTC
Best c&p OP of the year. (I'm confident nobody will produce anything better in the next 8 months).

I used to have a clever sig but I lost it.
roboto212
EVE University
Ivy League
#9 - 2012-04-13 21:46:58 UTC
Griznatch wrote:
Best c&p OP of the year. (I'm confident nobody will produce anything better in the next 8 months).

Me thinks you may be right.
Trinkets friend
Sudden Buggery
Sending Thots And Players
#10 - 2012-04-16 04:29:22 UTC
C&P is so much serious business. One would think internet spaceships were involed.

~~ Localectomy Blog ~~
Ronni Zigman
It's not slavery, if they are enjoying it.
#11 - 2012-04-16 04:34:19 UTC
I used TFs PI Leech removal service.

10/10 would use again.