EVE General Discussion

They absolutely need to nerf ponies.

Kittens are meant to be able to use their low sig radius to speed tank ponies. You just put a target painter on them (a laser pen works just awesome) and a small pack will claw it to pieces. Onlookers won't help, because d'awwwww

This is not how it happens, however.

Ponies stack leg braces (given to them by police officers, such as Sgt. Hakim and Lt. Gotan, the dynamic duo) and they're able to hit any kitty cat that isn't already pawing and mewling over it's hide. Worse than this, other ponies will come in (they operate in packs, see) and surround the first pony and throw kicks at range, where their big clumbsy legs don't have so much trouble with aim.

One pony kick hurts a kitty cat a lot

Ponies have so much meat to them that by the time the kittens have started hurting just one of them badly, the other ponies have kicked the whole kitten task force to death. It's ******* tragic.

The only solution the kittens have is to try to get ponies on their side and bring equal numbers of ponies, but KITTENS NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH PONIES so it's a non-optimal solution.

Most people are calling for Geneva to rule on the use of ponies in warfare. They say it's fine for the pony to carry a lot of allies into battle quickly, but very silly to make a world where it's ponies or bust.

So far the ruling powers that be have called for ponies to be given arthritis such that their legs only move at 50% of their normal speed, but a lot of pundits prefer the carry-only ruling suggesting people are far too invested in their ponies already, and will just create ways of making them mean kitten killers regardless.

I would draw a diagram about how far that post went over your head, but there's a quite narrow vertical limit in paint and I haven't pirated CS5 onto this PC yet.

I laid out a clear groundwork about how nerfing ponies would result in less kitty cat death.

Sir, are you for death of kittens?