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UPWELL'S ORGANIC MASS GRANULATOR

Author
Casserina Leshrac
Sanguine Illuminations
#1 - 2017-04-01 17:49:04 UTC
Original article here

It has come to my attention that the Upwell Consortium's newest structure are something to be desired.

Recent politically charged discussions has led me to believe that Upwell May have the solution to a lot of our assorted problems. In some cases providing explanations for the origins of some capsuleers and an safe option for the capulseer corpses that have long lived usefulness as art.

Seeing this only means that we should share some more appropriate options.

Diana Kim I do believe you will love the Caldari Option. That one is so you!

We stand at the Abyss, drawing the Patterns of Fate - Casserina Leshrac, Savant, Sani Sabik.

Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#2 - 2017-04-01 18:19:08 UTC
I thought the Amarr Navy and Federation Navy variants looked disturbing (those people are supposed to have been let go, not forced to labor until half of them die! And is that really what job retraining looks like in the Federation?!), but then....

Please someone tell me the Quafe variant is a joke or that I'm misunderstanding horribly somehow?
Hetu Hegirin
Doomheim
#3 - 2017-04-01 18:22:02 UTC
Buying smurgleblaster at competitive rates. Please message to arrange contract.
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#4 - 2017-04-01 18:25:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Aria Jenneth
... wait. Isn't there a certain trickster's festival this time of year in some places?

Even leaving aside the awful factional weirdness, that booster strength seemed awfully high.
Casserina Leshrac
Sanguine Illuminations
#5 - 2017-04-01 18:46:32 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:
I thought the Amarr Navy and Federation Navy variants looked disturbing (those people are supposed to have been let go, not forced to labor until half of them die! And is that really what job retraining looks like in the Federation?!), but then....

Please someone tell me the Quafe variant is a joke or that I'm misunderstanding horribly somehow?


Would you be surprised that I think this is somewhat horrific?

We stand at the Abyss, drawing the Patterns of Fate - Casserina Leshrac, Savant, Sani Sabik.

Loai Qerl
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#6 - 2017-04-01 18:46:40 UTC
Oooooo. That does explain why the Quafe leak just a bit ago was [REDACTED] so fast. The recipes are top secret!
Utari Onzo
Escalated.
OnlyFleets.
#7 - 2017-04-01 19:55:03 UTC
Does it come in green?

"Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil"

Ria Nieyli
Nieyli Enterprises
SL33PERS
#8 - 2017-04-01 20:06:28 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:
I thought the Amarr Navy and Federation Navy variants looked disturbing (those people are supposed to have been let go, not forced to labor until half of them die! And is that really what job retraining looks like in the Federation?!), but then....

Please someone tell me the Quafe variant is a joke or that I'm misunderstanding horribly somehow?


Quafe is made of people! And that's why you should drink Starsi.
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#9 - 2017-04-01 20:26:25 UTC
I shall be diverting my entire net worth into Amarr Navy Organic Mass Granulator production.
Casserina Leshrac
Sanguine Illuminations
#10 - 2017-04-01 20:49:29 UTC
Ria Nieyli wrote:
Aria Jenneth wrote:
I thought the Amarr Navy and Federation Navy variants looked disturbing (those people are supposed to have been let go, not forced to labor until half of them die! And is that really what job retraining looks like in the Federation?!), but then....

Please someone tell me the Quafe variant is a joke or that I'm misunderstanding horribly somehow?


Quafe is made of people! And that's why you should drink Starsi.


I think I have a very good reason change to Starsi and never touch Quafe again.

We stand at the Abyss, drawing the Patterns of Fate - Casserina Leshrac, Savant, Sani Sabik.

Casserina Leshrac
Sanguine Illuminations
#11 - 2017-04-01 20:50:23 UTC  |  Edited by: Casserina Leshrac
Nauplius wrote:
I shall be diverting my entire net worth into Amarr Navy Organic Mass Granulator production.


Would that be the Amarr Navy version or Federation Navy version?

I had to ask.

We stand at the Abyss, drawing the Patterns of Fate - Casserina Leshrac, Savant, Sani Sabik.

Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#12 - 2017-04-01 22:10:59 UTC  |  Edited by: Aria Jenneth
Casserina Leshrac wrote:
Would you be surprised that I think this is somewhat horrific?

Would you be surprised that I wouldn't, Ms. Leshrac?

My objection to your beliefs isn't that they're inherently depraved or something; it's that they're inherently destabilizing and provide you no stong basis for objecting to more depraved interpretations or actions.

That, and Sani Sabik philosophy is basically kind of boring. It's less wrong than myopic, so it's a little like running into someone who just can't stop talking about high-velocity piloting and how to coax the best performance out of your frigate. He might be a good person to discuss racing with, but it gets a little old when he can't talk about much of anything else.
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#13 - 2017-04-02 00:46:42 UTC
Casserina Leshrac wrote:
Nauplius wrote:
I shall be diverting my entire net worth into Amarr Navy Organic Mass Granulator production.


Would that be the Amarr Navy version or Federation Navy version?

I had to ask.


Insulting.
Gwen Ikiryo
Alexylva Paradox
#14 - 2017-04-02 04:40:35 UTC
It's a sign of the times that I believed this was real for a few minutes.
Bjorn Tyrson
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#15 - 2017-04-02 05:27:00 UTC
Casserina Leshrac wrote:
Ria Nieyli wrote:
Aria Jenneth wrote:
I thought the Amarr Navy and Federation Navy variants looked disturbing (those people are supposed to have been let go, not forced to labor until half of them die! And is that really what job retraining looks like in the Federation?!), but then....

Please someone tell me the Quafe variant is a joke or that I'm misunderstanding horribly somehow?


Quafe is made of people! And that's why you should drink Starsi.


I think I have a very good reason change to Starsi and never touch Quafe again.


More quafe for me then.
Che Biko
Alexylva Paradox
#16 - 2017-04-02 21:32:30 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:
[..] so it's a little like running into someone who just can't stop talking about high-velocity piloting and how to coax the best performance out of your frigate.
Aria, please...people might get the wrong impression.
Big smile
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#17 - 2017-04-03 01:28:06 UTC
Did you fellows check the date when this announcement was made?

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Graelyn
Aeternus Command Academy
#18 - 2017-04-03 02:16:00 UTC
It would seem that many of you have been taken in by a prank.

Cardinal Graelyn

Amarr Loyalist of the Year - YC113

Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#19 - 2017-04-03 03:38:34 UTC
Graelyn wrote:
It would seem that many of you have been taken in by a prank.

Yeah. They really had me going for a bit.

I'm not sure Mr. Nauplius has been watching closely enough to have caught it even now.

... maybe this might be a good time to invest in Quafe Ultra manufactured in the Republic, my lord? It might be about to be designated a sacremental drink by a certain small but very, ah, dedicated, uh, "sect."
Mebrithiel Ju'wien
Anshar Incorporated
#20 - 2017-04-13 00:15:17 UTC
Graelyn wrote:
It would seem that many of you have been taken in by a prank.


Why did you have to go and spoil it?!

You're no fun anymore!

Also... why would you want to reprocess corpses anyway?

They're far too useful...
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