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Bumble's Log

Author
Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#1 - 2015-11-01 17:20:51 UTC
Day 1:




AM: Bumble pilots his hardy Rifter through the treacherous Niarja gates, observing a bunch of flashing-red content creators swarming a Gallentean freight-carrier. He is glad that he did not go into the courier business, but nonetheless the sight of potential pirates nearly causes an involuntary addition to today's log.



PM: Bumble adjusts his orders on the interplanetary markets - he finds that he is several dozen million ISK richer, as a couple of speculative items have proved popular with the local Genesis residents. While he counts his space-pennies, he received a mail from an unknown source, asking about potential mining positions in Kerensky Initiatives. Although Bumble is not the approved recruiter for his illustrious corporation, a few social-interaction feeler duties have been delegated to him, so he replies with a friendly and welcoming mail.

Bumble will see what comes of this tentative outreach to Bumble.

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log

Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#2 - 2015-11-02 20:02:45 UTC
Day 2:




AM: Bumble had overindulged celebrating the addition of a new member to Kerensky Initiatives, and does not feel stable enough to pilot his hardy space-craft through the dangerous space-lanes. Instead, he instructs his ship computer to hit him with a coma-inducing brain-ray. Bumble immediately becomes unconscious, with a smile on his face.



PM, Feeling much more restored, Bumble sets to examining the business of the day. First, the new recruit: Jonan Hannon. He is an enthusiastic chap, a bit of a barleyjack but nice enough. Bumble instructs Jonan to a small belt in the Pucherie System of Gallente Empire Space. Jonan sets off with a purpose, hurrying along to the designated co-ordinates in his Hyperion Mining Vessel. Bumble returns to monitoring the space lanes on his Vid-screen.

Five minutes later, one of his Cockpit-Klaxons blares out a piercing warning message, apparently from a nearby ship:


"ATTENTION, PILOT OF SPACE-CRAFT 'RIFTER'! THIS IS THE AMMARR FEDERATION RELIGIOUS POLICE! YOU HAVE BEEN MONITORED COMMUNICATING WITH THE SPACE-ZEALOT JONAN HANNON! PREPARE FOR BOARDING AND INTERROGATION!"

Bumble sits stock-still in his comfy space chair - how will he react to this intrusion??

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log

Foley Aberas Jones
The Bosena Accords
Warclone Initiative
#3 - 2015-11-02 22:33:30 UTC
11/10 thread


Would recommend to friends

Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#4 - 2015-11-03 18:21:42 UTC
Day 3:




AM: Bumble realises that it has taken him the better part of 12 hours to respond to the Ammarrian Federation ship, but that is ok, as Bumble is an immortal capsuleer and pays no mind to anyone. He recounts the exchange thusly:

B: Who is this and how dare you contact me unsolicited?

Ammarr Captain: I am Ammarr Captain GoodWood and I demand you turn yourself over for immediate Religious Punishment! You have been communicating with Space-Zealot Hannon!

B: Unacceptable! I am a sovereign capsuleer and answer to no one but myself and the Gallentean Empire!

AC: Deactivate your weapons and turn yourself over to the Sarum Fiefdom or face the consequences!

B: Bring it on, Gold-boy!


Bumble primes the photonic railguns, and takes aim at the Ammarr Abbadon - bombs away!

The railgun photons smash into the Abaddon, leaving nothing but a curiously compact field of debris. Bumble swoops in towards the ball in his Space-Rifter, and activates his salvage scanners.

Nothing...

...


...

...except a few mangled corpses...


...

...and - Space bingo! - he finds a scorched but functional black box, detailing the Ammarrite ship's instructions and mission logs. This will surely prove useful!



PM: Bumble has thoroughly decoded the black box. As he is essentially a god, all Bumble has to do to access the device is wave his hands over it, and the information begins streaming directly into the Bumble-Cortex.


"Jonan Hannon, Space-Zealot"

" Wanted for worship of the Jed-Aye Cult"

"Suspected of wearing inflammatory T-Shirts on Gallentean Pleasure Hubs"

"Likely to be seeking shelter in a powerful capsuleer corporation. May be difficult to extract"

Bumble sits back in his space chair and considers his options. Play along and pretend the battle of Pucherie never happened, or confront Hannon and demand an explanation?


WWBD??

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log

Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#5 - 2015-11-04 21:55:48 UTC
Day 4:





AM:

B: Bumble here, space matey, how's it going?

JH: Fine thanks captain, how might I be of service?

B: Well, you see the thing is, me old barleyjack, I had an Encounter with the Ammarrian federation, and they weren't best pleased to see me...

JH: Oh?

B: You bet. I was forced to annihilate them into a trillion pieces. You see, they were interested in you

JH: Me? What have I done, but mine ice and protect it from Space Pirates?

B: 'Space Zealot' was the term they used, mind telling me what you've done?!

JH: Oh that *Pause* I was pottering around in my Space Venture and, you see, I had to empty out my Capsuleer Pod Waste Systems, and the only place nearby was a Amaarrian Golden Shrine. I was getting desperate and the alarms were flashing RED RED RED. When you've gotta go..

B:...oh....

JH: ....you gotta go! So I flew up to the Front airlock, and rang the wifi doorbell. An old priest and a young priest came out, dressed in their fancy robes. I screamed in their faces, "THE POWER OF BUMBLE COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF BUMBLE COMPELS YOU!! LET ME USE YOUR SPACE POOP TANKS IMMEDIATELY!"

They looked perturbed, and didn't know how to react. I have no time for Ammmarrian dillydallying, so I barged past them, and flew down the hall past a sign that said "HOLY SANCTUM NO ADMITTANCE TO THE UNBELIEBERS!" (whatever that meant), and I saw what I thought was a Waste Discharge Station - I plugged my Waste Chutes into the Station and emptied out the bowels (of my Venture) into the Waste Station.

Boy, was I ever so relieved, Mr. Bumble sir, was I ever. I was a bit (ok disgustingly) messy, though

Anyway, after the haze of relief had passed, I realised that the place I'd entered had an adjoining room. Sending out a Space Drone to take a look, I saw that, in fact, THAT room had the WASTE DISCHARGE STATION, and I'd just relieved my ship (my self) in...A HOLY AMMARRIAN CHALICE!

The priests came in, fell to the knees of their spacesuits, and started crying and screaming abuse at me. I legged it, and put the pedal to the metal and flew outta there...

B: *ahem* So now they're mighty angry at you and would love to Pod you?

JH: Basically, Sir



PM:


Bumble spends the rest of the day looking up HOLY AMMARRIAN CHALICES, getting inspiration for the design of his new Pod Toilet.

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log

Ralph King-Griffin
Lords.Of.Midnight
The Devil's Warrior Alliance
#6 - 2015-11-05 22:45:24 UTC
we were solicited by your priest bumble,

normally we only deal with capsuliers for merc/retribution contracts but something about the way the npc standard human blushed and stuttered whilst raving about his Private alter being desecrated piqued my interest.

naturally i couldn't accept given his non capsulier status but his side of the story was rather entertaining,
"as if all of Sodom and Gomorrah were manifest in one latreen" i think were his words.

my response was obviously "That would be An Ecumenical Matter * " wasn't well received.

still 10/10 good story


*google thatBlink
Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#7 - 2015-11-06 21:16:24 UTC




Day 4:




AM: Bumble has just received this communique:


Ralph King-Griffin wrote:
we were solicited by your priest bumble,

normally we only deal with capsuliers for merc/retribution contracts but something about the way the npc standard human blushed and stuttered whilst raving about his Private alter being desecrated piqued my interest.

naturally i couldn't accept given his non capsulier status but his side of the story was rather entertaining,
"as if all of Sodom and Gomorrah were manifest in one latreen" i think were his words.

my response was obviously "That would be An Ecumenical Matter * " wasn't well received.

still 10/10 good story


*google thatBlink




Bumble sees that the priests that Hannon allegedly offended have become quite uppity and are now approaching (alleged) ne'er-do-wells to execute 'revenge' upon him. However, as a loyal member of Kerensky Initiatives, Bumble is a proactive member of the Space-Capsuleer Community and counts Mr Ralph as a good friend, and thus thanks him for relaying this information onwards. A Finders Fee of 5ISK (worth untold billions of planetary currency) has been promptly forwarded to him by way of thanks.


PM:

B: No more desecrations today lad, eh?

JH: No Sir! But I was in Villore today, and I was again stopped by an Ammarrian Federation corvette, and they tried to apprehend me

B: Were there any explosions this time?

JH: Thankfully not! Because Carthrum Shipyards had built the Venture with an eye on tight combat maneuvers, it comes equipped with two Warp Core Stabilisers and I was able to warp away when they tried to scramble my eggs. I was lucky this time, but what would've happened if I'd been in my Mining Navitas (still a worthy ship)?

B: I shudder to think Hannon, I shudder to think...tell me something, please

JH: Anything, Sir

B: Where was this Ammarrian Gold Cathedral wither you mistook for a Space Convenience?

JH: I believe it was in the Apanake System, Captain

B: A pancake?

JH: No, no sir - 'A-pa-na-kay'. I seem to remember it was in the Sega Genesis region

B: Very Good Hannon...

JH: ...thank you Sir!...

B: ...we set sail for Apanake tomorrow at Space Dawn to take these priests and their Corrupt Ammarrian Federation Overlords down!

JH: \o/




POSTSCRIPT: Bumble searched for 'That Would Be An Ecumenical Matter'. Bumble saw the inebriated Father Jack (is he an Ammarrian Gold Priest too?!), and Bumble laughed Lol Bumble then remembered that Father Ted was dead and Bumble was a bit sad, too Sad

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log