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Embarrass Yourself!

Author
Zimmy Zeta
Perkone
Caldari State
#1 - 2011-11-25 15:41:00 UTC
The idea is from the "darwin-awards" thread.
Post your first ever lossmail from battleclinic here, show us your noob-fittings from when you hadn't got a clue about ship fitting at all and maybe tell us what flamboyant maneuvers got you killed the first time.
Give us all something to laugh at and give the newbies a little hope!

I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.

Dirk Magnum
Spearhead Endeavors
#2 - 2011-11-25 15:42:42 UTC
Zimmy Zeta wrote:
tell us what flamboyant maneuvers got you killed the first time.

Autopiloted AFK. Into nullsec. To deliver a courier contract. To an outpost.
What?

                      "LIVE FAST DIE." - traditional Minmatar ethos [citation needed]

Admiral Lolage
GWA Corp
#3 - 2011-11-25 15:44:55 UTC
I lost a blaster fit bellicose to a rifter XD

Rainbow Dash is best pony! /)^3^(\

Zimmy Zeta
Perkone
Caldari State
#4 - 2011-11-25 15:50:28 UTC
Copypasta'd from the other thread:



http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=3014459

To my defense: I was only several days old when this happened, had just discovered that there are three different kinds of slots and you somehow could put something in every slot. Wooot! Plus it was my first cruiser, so I felt invincible anyway....

P.S. Also, excellent piloting of a blackbird: Charge in, orbit the deimos at 2 km, forget about ecm, just using SD and TP ! Guess I scared the sh*t out of them......

I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.

Vincent Gaines
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#5 - 2011-11-25 15:53:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Vincent Gaines
I first started in a small corp, we based out of Sankkasen. After a couple weeks, we hopped into Feroxes and could use heavy missiles. We are ready for ANYTHING... right?

So, as an organized corp that we thought we were, we decided to have an escorted mining op in a 0.4

Enderailen.
So we go to a belt, and our happy little noob miners get to work while myself and another noob sit in our brand new shiny Feroxes. we were the "big heavy" protection to keep nasty pirates away.

After 5 minutes or so, I see a yellow frigate of to the side of the belt. I do a "look at" and confirm. Just a frigate.

The frigate warps out after sitting there a few minutes and we resume mining.

The firgate returns a few minutes later and attacks the other Ferox. We're on Vent and I tell him to warp off. He says he can't warp he's scrambled. Huh? He can't warp off? And he's pounding him with 3 missile launchers...

"hey I got him! look he's in armor... I got this"

..yeah..

So this little frigate sits there taking heavy missiles and we're freaking out... we know nothing of explosion radius or explosion velocity... meanwhile this little frigate... We soon learned is called a Vengence... slowly chips away until my buddy loses cap (perma run XL shield booster, rite?!) and me, I don't warp off this whole time.

He blows him up and I lay into him.. same result.

After about 10 minutes both of us are in pods. Our miners had warped off, safe, and I was STUNNED. Our 2 OMGAWESOME BATTLECRUISERS died to a FRIGATE!

Anyway, we learned a lot about Eve that day. The guy also didn't smack even though we raged in local. Eventually he told us a bit about resitances and how big heavy weapons don't go well against little itty bitty ships. Oh and to look on the forums on to how to fit a ship.


TL;DR

Engaged a Vengence in a ****-fit Ferox in Enderalien.

Embarrassing KM:

Oh god, why?

This is the first time I think I ever looked at it. WTF was I thinking?

Not a diplo. 

The above post was edited for spelling.

L0ngcat
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#6 - 2011-11-25 16:00:56 UTC
uh-oh, seems like i was some kind of overestimating myself Lol

myself vs a nightmare?!
Arguile Thellere
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2011-11-25 16:31:18 UTC  |  Edited by: Arguile Thellere
A story from when I was pilot hopping - With the exception of this pilot, I never keep them very long. Just long enough to test out the basics of their individual mechanics.

So here I am on some throwaway Calderi toon...frigate missle boat...straight out of tutorial bootcamp. I'd heard players say many times "if you wanna do low-sec, just do it"

Welllllllllll perhaps they should have prefaced that with: Just don't go assaulting a frigate and two faction cruisers with your foam-bat of a ship.

I wanted to get a taste of this "epic" PVP I'd always heard of. So off I go into low-sec to find a fight; ready to lose it all. I was trying to follow all the rules I'd observed; taking uncommon routes between celestial bodies, spamming my d-scan, warping at a distance so I can peek before I poked.
I was trying to narrow down on an Amarr frigate similar (in ranking) to my own. I figured if I could find him I'd have a pretty exciting fight on my hands.

Warp. Scan. Find him. Narrow range. Scan. Lose him.....repeat. This guy was hiding in some invisible pocket and I was starting to get the shakes from my eagerness to fight.

Soon enough I'm going with reckless abandon. I'm no longer d-scanning and I'm just warping to anything that I can click on. I get so wired out that when I make my next (read: final) warp and see a red flashy-skull I don't even think twice.

I throw on my after burners, I lock the target, and I open my cannons up. I get closer and closer and I'm hanging over my scrambler; certain to not lose my kill...but something is amiss. I notice that my shots are hitting... they're reporting damage being done with consistency...but the sliver of red is so small that I rub my eyes thinking it's exhaustion getting the better of me.

Within range, scrambled myself, and by this point well aware I wasn't going to scrape off this guys bumper stickers with my squirt-gun I take a moment to look. "What the frak is a Cynabal?" I wonder aloud. Moments later I see two more reds pop up within deadly range. "Another Cynabal? Oh well I know that one!" I feel a moment of pride in recognizing the Amarr frigate I was lurking on. Moments later I'm nothing more than a Popsicle.

I decided to do a bit more personal education before launching such an assault again.

P.S. - While it was epic in it's own right...I don't discredit real EVE PVP to my....adventure.

Arguile Thellere - Intergalactic Handyman --"Lets get some shoes."

Tallianna Avenkarde
Pyre of Gods
#8 - 2011-11-25 16:37:54 UTC
I'll post it even though it is kinda pointless, the old KM's only used to show what was destroyed, not what dropped (or vice versa, been awhile)

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=786137

Arty fit cata, 'cause who needs bonuses.

Had moved into lowsec first few days in eve, and been fine. Lived in CVA controlled space and never seen a pirate. A friend of mine had just joined 303 in avair and invited me to take a look, then let their blues know I was coming and to pop me when i got there :P

If i recall the rest of the fit was pretty fail too, it took me a LONG time to work out how to fit a ship properly >.<

And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell. Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell.

Starlight Kouvo
Howl at the Moon
#9 - 2011-11-25 16:43:36 UTC
Oopshttp://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=14250763

I was caught out as a newb (still am as only 4 months in to EVE) with the classic bait the mission runner by wreck looting to get kill rights Oops

Was warp scrambled and watched my shiny drake die Cry
Dr Karsun
Coffee Lovers Brewing Club
#10 - 2011-11-25 16:52:05 UTC
I think this vexor loss wasn't my first loss, I lost an iteron earlyer hauling ore...

But surely this was my first ever pvp loss:

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=3403512

Probably -the- worst fitting I've ever seen on a vexor was what I put on this one.

Still, now I fit my ships well, I do my best when I have the time to pvp a bit. I'm not embarassed by that loss.

"Have you had your morning coffee?" -> the Coffee Lovers Brewing Club is recruiting! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=363976#post363976

Terminal Insanity
KarmaFleet
Goonswarm Federation
#11 - 2011-11-25 17:19:01 UTC  |  Edited by: Terminal Insanity
My very, very first lossmail ever:
http://terminalinsanity.org/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=918

I am proud of it though. I fit this ship the way i thought eve was, when i began playing it. Being new to eve, i assumed it was like most other games where you live forever. I fit my ship with a hull, armor and shield repper, thinking i was going to be flying that bad boy for months. Then lost it to a single NPC frigate lmao.

This was my very first battleship:
http://terminalinsanity.org/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=951
LOL

Edit: well apparently eve forum cant handle the &'s in URL links.

"War declarations are never officially considered griefing and are not a bannable offense, and it has been repeatedly stated by the developers that the possibility for non-consensual PvP is an intended feature." - CCP

Renan Ruivo
Hengetools Consumer Products S.A.
#12 - 2011-11-25 17:26:17 UTC  |  Edited by: Renan Ruivo
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=12737095

First ever loss.

PVP tournament with friends.


Notice i was using a cap booster and had no charges on the cargo...

The world is a community of idiots doing a series of things until it explodes and we all die.

Anshio Tamark
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#13 - 2011-11-25 17:28:03 UTC
One question: What's a lossmail? I'm serious. I've lost several valuable ships (and some worthless ones) to other players, and I have yet to receive a single mail stating I lost a ship.

Regardless, the first ship I lost to another player was when I accidentally entered Decon in a Reaper, after only having played for 3 days... Not a smart move.
Amber Katelo
Doomheim
#14 - 2011-11-25 17:33:14 UTC
Anshio Tamark wrote:
One question: What's a lossmail? I'm serious. I've lost several valuable ships (and some worthless ones) to other players, and I have yet to receive a single mail stating I lost a ship.

Regardless, the first ship I lost to another player was when I accidentally entered Decon in a Reaper, after only having played for 3 days... Not a smart move.

We call it a kill mail or loss mail because it used to be an actual EveMail. Now it shows up as an entry in your Combat Log.
Vincent Gaines
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#15 - 2011-11-25 17:47:04 UTC
Anshio Tamark wrote:
One question: What's a lossmail? I'm serious. I've lost several valuable ships (and some worthless ones) to other players, and I have yet to receive a single mail stating I lost a ship.

Regardless, the first ship I lost to another player was when I accidentally entered Decon in a Reaper, after only having played for 3 days... Not a smart move.


Your losses.

Not a diplo. 

The above post was edited for spelling.

Mr Epeen
It's All About Me
#16 - 2011-11-25 18:01:23 UTC
An old character of mine.

Auto piloted into a gank camp Oops

Lost over a billion on that one.

Asleep at the switch

Mr Epeen Cool
Amitious Turkey
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#17 - 2011-11-25 18:01:48 UTC
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=1512787

Taranis with an armor rep, 2 webs, no scram. I don't even remember what happened, it was so long ago...but I know what I was doing. I had this idea, to hunt pirates :facepalm:

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=154965

This one was my first BS. I had little concept of "wars" at the time, so I was quite surprised when people started shooting at me and CONCORD didn't help :(
I actually managed to warp away from the gate and cloak, but then I made the mistake of decloaking to dock up, and that's when they warped in :/
I didn't get another Dominix until two summers ago (My character is old, but I didn't get to play consistently until now)

Both of these kills occurred when I was like...14...so I didn't have a good grasp of the game to begin with Lol

I like to lick things.

Haunting the forums since 03.

Vincent Gaines
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#18 - 2011-11-25 18:06:33 UTC
Amitious Turkey wrote:

Both of these kills occurred when I was like...14...so I didn't have a good grasp of the game to begin with Lol



You may be surprised to know that there's an alliance in null that has a 14 year old FC, who isn't half bad.

Not a diplo. 

The above post was edited for spelling.

Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
#19 - 2011-11-25 18:08:09 UTC
battleclinic lost my records the falsified more of them apperantly Ive killed 24 people.

Dust 514's CPM 1 Iron Wolf Saber Eve mail me about Dust 514 issues.

Chribba
Otherworld Enterprises
Otherworld Empire
#20 - 2011-11-25 18:27:52 UTC
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=59386

/c

★★★ Secure 3rd party service ★★★

Visit my in-game channel 'Holy Veldspar'

Twitter @ChribbaVeldspar

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