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That awkward moment at work...

Author
Omar Alharazaad
Spectrum Reborn
#1 - 2014-06-07 10:30:42 UTC
When that bug climbing up your arm turns out to be real, and all you can feel is relief.
When the movement out of the corner of your eye turns out to not be real.
When you realize that in order to be able to fluently converse with all of your vendors you would need to speak so many languages that your employers could no longer afford to pay you.
When your right eyelid wont stop twitching due to you having to keep from reciting the mantra 'shallow grave' over and over out loud.
When you realize that there's still four hours left to go before it's zero beer thirty.

Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.

Doreen Kaundur
#2 - 2014-06-07 10:41:45 UTC
get another job.

[center]1. Minor navigation color change. 2. Show bookmarks in the overview.[/center]

Omar Alharazaad
Spectrum Reborn
#3 - 2014-06-07 12:51:18 UTC
Nah. I'm actually quite good at my job. The relentless nature of human stupidity just wears me down from time to time and causes the crazy to start to boil towards the surface.

Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.

Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#4 - 2014-06-07 13:00:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Krixtal Icefluxor
....you're sitting at the conference table at work at 7:00 AM ready for the meeting your boss called, and you are sitting there still at 8:00 AM because he is "running late".

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882

Grimpak
Manufactorum.
Atomic Fusion Industries
#5 - 2014-06-07 14:16:18 UTC
good thing my work is more physical.

[img]http://eve-files.com/sig/grimpak[/img]

[quote]The more I know about humans, the more I love animals.[/quote] ain't that right

Omar Alharazaad
Spectrum Reborn
#6 - 2014-06-07 17:04:08 UTC
Mine would be too if I were to let that crazy actually reach the surface. The nearby cornfield would be exceptionally fertile and I would have myself a booming business of used semi trucks and trailers... and yet there's this whole moral/ethical hierarchy thing that stands in the way. Still better than driving cab, my last job. "There's a few imaginary laws and an angry mob standing between you, me, and a trip to a nearby hog farm... so chill out and let me do my job."

Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.

Grimpak
Manufactorum.
Atomic Fusion Industries
#7 - 2014-06-07 17:43:22 UTC
Omar Alharazaad wrote:
Mine would be too if I were to let that crazy actually reach the surface. The nearby cornfield would be exceptionally fertile and I would have myself a booming business of used semi trucks and trailers... and yet there's this whole moral/ethical hierarchy thing that stands in the way. Still better than driving cab, my last job. "There's a few imaginary laws and an angry mob standing between you, me, and a trip to a nearby hog farm... so chill out and let me do my job."

meh, I just assemble leaf springs. if somebody pisses me off I can just go around clobbing heads with a metal sheet.

[img]http://eve-files.com/sig/grimpak[/img]

[quote]The more I know about humans, the more I love animals.[/quote] ain't that right

Lido Seahawk
SPHINX RISING
Already Replaced.
#8 - 2014-06-07 20:12:35 UTC
You go to shut down the off-line generator for maintenance, and everything suddenly gets real dark and quiet.... Oops

May I have your stuff?

Sibyyl
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#9 - 2014-06-09 11:39:54 UTC
When you have to explain to your IT person that your work laptop may have a virus after visiting a porn site. ("I don't watch porn.. scoff" - this almost worked)
When somebody else overhears you pleading with your computer (hey please don't delete my powerpoint..!!)
When your boss finds you napping under your desk
When you forget to close down all your Youtube tabs before showing everybody your screen
When two coworkers hit on you at once
When you start talking about EVE and everyone else is o_O

Joffy Aulx-Gao for CSM. Fix links and OGB. Ban stabs from plexes. Fulfill karmic justice.

Ralph King-Griffin
Lords.Of.Midnight
The Devil's Warrior Alliance
#10 - 2014-06-09 11:48:06 UTC
Sibyyl wrote:

When two coworkers hit on you at once

Iv had two cougars fight over me at a dental conference a few years back...they were both married to delicates...
Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#11 - 2014-06-09 22:08:35 UTC
Ralph King-Griffin wrote:
Sibyyl wrote:

When two coworkers hit on you at once

Iv had two cougars fight over me at a dental conference a few years back...they were both married to delicates...


Here is a clear example of how to people can take something very similar very differently Lol

Wondering what you mean by 'delicates' Bear
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#12 - 2014-06-10 00:15:24 UTC
Ok OP, what you are experiencing is common is boring office environments. But there are things you can do to solve this crisis!

Start Muffin Monday.

Implement Doughnut Thunderdome (provide half as many doughnuts as there are people in your office and/or floor).

Friday Pie-day.

Become feared through acts of office vengeance.

Replace sugar with salt next to office coffeepot.

Turn something into a puppet.

Goat Simulator.

Post-it note mosaic.

Swap nearby coworkers phone lines.

Create an a capella singing group with nearby coworkers and bust out "Eye of the Tiger" at odd times.

Learn to imitate voices and use those voices for nefarious purposes.

Find co-workers weaknesses and exploit them.

Hijack nearby wireless printers and print odd pictures or creepy messages when people walk by it.

Wrath.

Tell co-workers that you want to eat them to gain their power when they are recognized over you.

Replace pencil erasers with hardened pink frosting.

Take packing peanuts, cover in macaroni and cheese powder packet, place in Cheetos bag on breakroom table, walk out with handful of real Cheetos. Sit back and watch.

You see, an office environment is a blank canvas. There are plenty of art supplies around you, use them to create a masterpiece. Boring office environments are due to lack of content creation.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?

Sibyyl
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2014-06-10 00:54:16 UTC
Slade Trillgon wrote:
Ralph King-Griffin wrote:
Iv had two cougars fight over me at a dental conference a few years back...they were both married to delicates...


Here is a clear example of how to people can take something very similar very differently Lol

Wondering what you mean by 'delicates' Bear

Like so?

Joffy Aulx-Gao for CSM. Fix links and OGB. Ban stabs from plexes. Fulfill karmic justice.

Ralph King-Griffin
Lords.Of.Midnight
The Devil's Warrior Alliance
#14 - 2014-06-10 00:58:49 UTC
Slade Trillgon wrote:
Ralph King-Griffin wrote:
Sibyyl wrote:

When two coworkers hit on you at once

Iv had two cougars fight over me at a dental conference a few years back...they were both married to delicates...


Here is a clear example of how to people can take something very similar very differently Lol

Wondering what you mean by 'delicates' Bear

actually i got smartphoned there, Delegates i.e. attendees of the conference .
Omar Alharazaad
Spectrum Reborn
#15 - 2014-06-10 03:50:00 UTC
Interesting ideas. I particularly liked the 'Turn a coworker into a puppet' one. I may have misread that, but I'm gonna stick with my interpretation.

Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.

Doreen Kaundur
#16 - 2014-06-10 08:31:01 UTC
That awkward moment at work...

when you accidentally fart in the elevator full of your coworkers...

and the elevator breaks down between floors.

[center]1. Minor navigation color change. 2. Show bookmarks in the overview.[/center]

Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#17 - 2014-06-10 12:14:40 UTC
That awkward moment when you get caught by a coworker while taking a **** in the back of the building after normal work hours Oops

It was by break time and I did not want to go back into the building just to head nature's call Pirate

Luckily she did not notify HR and just pointed out slightly more secluded spots to do my business Lol
Astenion
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#18 - 2014-06-10 13:00:48 UTC
Freelance is "free" of all of the above. On the other hand, it's also "free" of any job security.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#19 - 2014-06-11 00:58:00 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Our Mission Statement: We will provide the highest quality and the fastest service and the best customer service and the most competitive price. Cheap, and fast, and at the same time, perfect. That may seem to violate several laws of physics and ergonomics, but those laws are for mediocre low achievers.
Omar Alharazaad
Spectrum Reborn
#20 - 2014-06-11 23:52:09 UTC  |  Edited by: Omar Alharazaad
When everyone starts staring at you because you just started chuckling evilly while reading the EVE Forums.
Followed of course by the realization that without a frame of reference, there is absolutely no way you can explain 'just what, exactly, is so damned funny.'

Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.

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