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Halaima Miner Bumping -- SHAREHOLDER REPORT #1 -- 230,000.00 % profit margin!

Author
CODE.
#1 - 2012-07-06 22:57:49 UTC
I'm pleased to report that business is good in Halaima. Our profit margin thus far is over two hundred and thirty thousand percent. Not bad for less than two weeks into our operation!

OVERVIEW

I am a professional bumper and the Supreme Protector of Halaima, a highsec ice mining system near Jita. I require miners to follow the New Halaima Code of Conduct, which--among other things--calls for a 10 million isk mining fee to be paid each year. If miners fail to pay, they risk being bumped out of range and losing their ability to mine.

Last week, my company announced its IPO, offering 100 shares at 1 million each. It sold out in less than a day. A few days later, a second offering of an additional 200 shares was made in order to accommodate the unanticipated level of demand. Over night, orders for more than 300 shares came in, so the offering was held open for another day and a half. In total 657 million worth of shares were sold. The company has no further plans to sell shares, at present.

About ten days ago, the business went live in Halaima. The venture has proven to be unexpectedly profitable. Shareholder reports will periodically be published in order to keep our investors (and the community at large) informed of our activity. This is the first of these reports.

Previous threads:
I have taken command of the Halaima ice field: An exciting business opportunity!
Halaima Miner Bumping IPO -- Round 1
Halaima Miner Bumping IPO -- Round 2

EXPENDITURE AND PROFIT REPORT

Revenues:
81,000,000 in mining permits
65,000,000 in loot of fallen enemies

Expenses:
63,000 isk for secure containers

Profit:
145,937,000

Profit Margin:
231,646.03 %

CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTIONS

The question of whether it's appropriate for a company to give any of its profits to charity is a controversial one. Some believe that a company's sole obligation is to maximize its profits, for the benefit of its shareholders. Others believe that a responsible corporation should give something back to the community upon which its existence depends. Still others say that a company should give to charity only if doing so improves the image, and therefore profits, of the company.

I entered the miner bumping business in order to make money and to make a positive difference in the EVE community. Where appropriate, a charitable contribution may occasionally be made. During the current period, a charitable contribution of 10 million isk was made to a newbie who had been playing the game for less than a week. Somehow he came across my bumping operation in Halaima, and he asked advice for how he might become a bumper himself. I advised him to purchase a cruiser and fit it with a 10mn microwarpdrive. At the time, he had not yet trained the skills to fly a cruiser. I sent him some isk and wished him well. The next day, he proudly sent me his first killmail, a retriever he killed with a destroyer. I am confident that the isk will be put to good use.

GOOD NEWS IN HALAIMA

I have often said that the mining business is a marathon, not a sprint. Highsec miners are creatures of habit more than most, and they do not readily accept the idea of paying a fee to mine in a highsec ice field. Based on my experience in Arvasaras, I did not anticipate receiving many--if any--mining fees during the first two weeks of my operation.

I have found Halaima to be unexpectedly receptive to my leadership, however. I have already received 81 million in mining permits. (The odd 1 million came from a miner who only wished to have access for 24 hours, rather than 365 days.) We are well ahead of schedule.

Though Halaima has a long way to go toward the goal of total submission to the new regime, I have gained support among some of the locals. I am frequently given encouragement by those who share my vision of Halaima's future. Support appears to be highest among non-miners.

Another new player, who joined EVE a couple weeks ago, took an interest in bumping. He fitted a thorax and began bumping miners in the ice field. Local miners were quite alarmed by the possibility of a new trend developing, and they swiftly turned against him. For some reason--perhaps in a panic--a miner brought a worm (a faction frigate worth approximately 60 million) into the ice field and tried to suicide gank him. Luckily, the bumper was unharmed.

After an unhappy experience whilst being bumped by me, a miner decided he would take up "counter-bumping." He purchased a machariel, a faction battleship worth over 1 billion isk that is known for its speed. After repeatedly failing to bump me, he found it was more fun using the ship to bump orcas.

* * * (Proceed to section 2.) * * *

CODE.
#2 - 2012-07-06 22:58:12 UTC
During the second round of the IPO, miners were surprised to hear that my bumping business was backed by hundreds of millions worth of investors. Some refused to believe it, but it was hard to deny once I linked the thread in local. One miner even decided to purchase some shares. Other miners were offended that outsiders were spending money to influence Halaima.

Informants have kept me apprised of activity that takes place in Halaima when I'm not logged on. In one instance, a miner attempted to contract a hit against me. But instead of following through, the mercenary reported the crime to me. The miner has since apologized, and he was removed from the Red Pen list.

BIRTH PANGS

Despite all of these positive signs, I do not want to paint a too-rosy image. Unlike my enemies, I am committed to upholding the virtues of honesty, integrity, and transparency. My shareholder reports will always seek to provide full disclosure, of both the good and the bad.

As we bring our new order into being in the heart of highsec, it is inevitable that there will be those who oppose us. Until now, Halaima has existed in a state of chaos and lawlessness. Reasonable men and women, such as those who read this thread, understand that things need to change. Sadly, there are many dishonourable miners who would rather preserve the status quo.

Each day, I am criticized and insulted by miners who don't appreciate what I am doing in Halaima. Some of their language is vulgar. Profanities are uttered, occasionally in Russian. More than one miner has anchored his own secure containers with messages attempting to inspire resistance.

For now, most miners continue to violate the New Halaima Code of Conduct. When I wake up AFK miners by pushing them out of the ice field, they offer all kinds of excuses for their disobedience. Miners will attempt any form of manipulation to dissuade me from my noble cause: They will by turns mock, beg, threaten, or try to reason with me--sometimes all the same miner.

I encourage miners to put away their childish AFKness and get involved in the community. More often than not, miners use local to discuss the "problem" I pose. Every day local is subject to waterfalls of miner tears, sometimes lasting for hours at a stretch.

Regardless of the way miners mistreat me, I have personally always maintained proper decorum, as befits the Supreme Protector of Halaima. I am confident that in time, most miners will eventually see the light.

TREASON AND RESISTANCE

Some miners are not content with complaining or even leaving Halaima. There are those who openly foment rebellion. I have in my hand a list of the names of six miners who have filed petitions against me. I know the list is accurate because each of these miners personally confessed to it. According to the miners themselves, they petitioned me for "causing trouble," or "harassment" (despite the fact that they can go to the ice field next door in Kamio). One miner told me that he petitioned CCP not to let Concord assist bumpers. He claimed that his earlier petitions were the reason for the new mining barge buff in the upcoming winter expansion.

The six are only the petitioners who confessed. I am sure there are others. As I made clear in the New Halaima Code of Conduct, petitioning is an automatic Red Pen violation, and the offending miners were notified of being set to "terrible" standings. Their mining fee is trebled to 30 million isk. The petitioners are hopeful that something will be done by CCP, but so far no action has been taken.

From the first day of bumping, misguided miners have attempted to "counter-bump" me. They have used a wide variety of ships, from frigates all the way up to the machariel I mentioned earlier. Usually they are alone, but occasionally groups of them will work together. All of them have failed miserably--not a single miner has been rescued by "counter-bumping" tactics so far--but they never give up.

Initially, miners refused to believe that anyone was actually paying me the mining fees. Then they learned otherwise (a paying miner will occasionally admit to it in local, though generally they prefer privacy), and they were infuriated. For a brief time, miners threatened that anyone who paid me would be bumped by other miners in retaliation. But since most paying miners remained mum, and since I did not disclose my client list, the effort didn't go anywhere.

Then there are those who have attempted to kill me. The vast majority of miners who bring ganking ships into the ice field merely lock me in an attempt to frighten me. These are properly scolded for their cowardice. But there have been incidents of genuine violence occurring in the ice field.

* * * (Proceed to section 3.) * * *

CODE.
#3 - 2012-07-06 22:58:38 UTC
The first attempt made against my ship took place during the very first hour of the bumping business. I had bumped miners in Halaima for a few days prior to the "quiet period" (during which I had discussed my business plans with GMs and started the IPO). When Halaima Miner Bumping opened for business, I was already somewhat well known. Apparently, one miner sought to nip things in the bud, so when he learned of my return, he fit out a tempest-class battleship with tech II mods and tried to assassinate me.

The tempest is an artillery ship with a high "alpha" strike. Gankers like artillery ships because they can always get in a good first volley before Concord ever has a chance to respond, even when Concord is already present on the grid. For ganking small mining ships, a thrasher-class destroyer is used in this manner. For better-tanked targets, a tornado-class battlecruiser might be used. Using a battleship, particularly with tech II modules, is an extreme act rarely seen due to the expense involved.

For this assassin, it was a costly miscalculation. His aim was very poor, and my Invincible Stabber only went down to 95% shields. My loyal Concord soldiers arrived and reduced his ship to a smoldering wreck. I scooped the loot and came out 20 million isk richer.

A few days later, I came upon a miner who for some reason had a maller-class cruiser nearby serving as a "defense" ship (despite the fact that it's highsec). The maller is an Amarr ship designed for lasers, but for some reason his was fitted with rockets. After I began bumping his miner friend, he attacked me. I survived at 99% shields.

More recently, a "counter-bumper" with an atron-class frigate grew tired of ineffectually buzzing around me. Concord already had two squadrons in the field (miners were being repeatedly ganked earlier that day). In a fit of pure nihilism, the atron attempted to gank me and wound up dead. This time, I was unable to scoop the loot; a third-party was circling around like a vulture.

THE FIRST BATTLE OF HALAIMA

Back during my days in Arvasaras, miners became increasingly desperate to kill me. They even went as far as creating a private channel to discuss their plots against me. Strangers to teamwork, the miners formed multi-alliance fleets of cheap ships (they always went down in failure). The miners of Halaima have not yet reached that point, but I was forced to do battle against a fleet earlier this week.

One day, whilst I was encouraging a miner to get Code-compliant, a group of hooligans began mocking me. They had a few miners in the ice field, along with some "defense" ships for some reason, all from the same alliance. I reminded them that they were highsec ice miners, and that they had no right to consider themselves superior to anyone else. They insisted that they weren't really miners, but were taking a break from some other--presumably more dignified--activity.

When the miner I was bumping left the ice field, I decided I would teach the hooligans some manners. The one who had used the most consistently vulgar language became my new target, and I politely requested the 10 million isk I was owed. He refused. The miner attempted to avoid being bumped by having his ship orbit the ice he was mining, but he soon learned that he was dealing with a Bumping Grandmaster. He became silent as he found his hulk floating off into deep space. His alliance became silent as well.

I considered justice to have been served. But the miner's alliance had other ideas. Their pride was hurt. Despite mining ice in highsec, they fancied themselves above the "real" miners, and they certainly couldn't accept being ruled over by a bumper, no matter how legitimate his claim may be. So while they became quiet in local, they plotted revenge in their alliance channel.

Using their hapless friend's hulk as a warp-in point, they landed 7 destroyers directly on top of me and opened fire. They were surprisingly competent, as it had not taken their alliance long to assemble this fleet. The number of destroyers was probably deliberately calculated to be able to kill my Stabber Fleet Issue, and they got scramblers on me to disable my microwarpdrive.

But as always, they lacked courage and honour. My Invincible Stabber was brought to 85% shields before they all died. Concord proudly marched across the field, having faithfully served their leader. The First Battle of Halaima was over, and the Supreme Protector of Halaima emerged victorious once more.

As I began looting each of their wrecks, I noticed that I was still being locked by two destroyers. Only five of the fleet had actually attacked me. The other two apparently thought themselves above death, preferring to let their friends take the heat. They had disgraced themselves and broken the suicide ganker code. I encouraged their alliance members to take note of this treachery, and to reconsider who their true friends were.

CONCLUSION

All in all, the miner bumping business has been a great success thus far. I am very optimistic about its future. I currently have no plans to expand the New Order of Highsec beyond Halaima. However, there is an ice field located in Halaima's next-door neighbor, Kamio. If I were to broaden the extent of my jurisdiction in the future, surely it would be there.

I will keep you all informed.

- 315
Gallente Federation
#4 - 2012-07-07 00:45:17 UTC
I love you.
#5 - 2012-07-07 00:47:44 UTC
I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

It warms my heart to know that my ISK has helped bring such joy to the othwise seemingly mundane lives of the denizens of Halaima.

I look forward to your next report!
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2012-07-07 01:09:55 UTC  |  Edited by: Private Pineapple
James 315 wrote:
But as always, they lacked courage and honour. My Invincible Stabber was brought to 85% shields before they all died. Concord proudly marched across the field, having faithfully served their leader. The First Battle of Halaima was over, and the Supreme Protector of Halaima emerged victorious once more.


What do you mean, "once more"? The definition of that term is "again"... but it was the First Battle of Halaima. If it was the Second Battle of Halaima, it would make sense. My henchmen are angered due to this serious mistake on your part because you may be lying to us and that there were actual battles before the First Battle of Halaima. If this is the case, you have not disclosed this information... meaning you lack transparency and honesty.

Please clarify this as this is ruining my evening.

.

CODE.
#7 - 2012-07-07 01:15:30 UTC
Private Pineapple wrote:
James 315 wrote:
But as always, they lacked courage and honour. My Invincible Stabber was brought to 85% shields before they all died. Concord proudly marched across the field, having faithfully served their leader. The First Battle of Halaima was over, and the Supreme Protector of Halaima emerged victorious once more.


What do you mean, "once more"? The definition of that term is "again"... but it was the First Battle of Halaima. If it was the Second Battle of Halaima, it would make sense. My henchmen are angered due to this serious mistake on your part because you may be lying to us and that there were actual battles before the First Battle of Halaima. If this is the case, you have not disclosed this information... meaning you lack transparency and honesty.

Please clarify this as this is ruining my evening.
I always emerge victorious, whenever I am attacked--whether it be earlier attacks that weren't full-fledged battles, or battles that I won in Arvasaras.

Oh, and I forgot to mention to all the counter-bumpers out there: The difference between you and me is, I make this look gooood. Cool
Minmatar Republic
#8 - 2012-07-07 01:18:39 UTC  |  Edited by: Private Pineapple
James 315 wrote:
Private Pineapple wrote:
James 315 wrote:
But as always, they lacked courage and honour. My Invincible Stabber was brought to 85% shields before they all died. Concord proudly marched across the field, having faithfully served their leader. The First Battle of Halaima was over, and the Supreme Protector of Halaima emerged victorious once more.


What do you mean, "once more"? The definition of that term is "again"... but it was the First Battle of Halaima. If it was the Second Battle of Halaima, it would make sense. My henchmen are angered due to this serious mistake on your part because you may be lying to us and that there were actual battles before the First Battle of Halaima. If this is the case, you have not disclosed this information... meaning you lack transparency and honesty.

Please clarify this as this is ruining my evening.
I always emerge victorious, whenever I am attacked--whether it be earlier attacks that weren't full-fledged battles, or battles that I won in Arvasaras.

Oh, and I forgot to mention to all the counter-bumpers out there: The difference between you and me is, I make this look gooood. Cool


I understand. Thank you for the clarification, I can enjoy my evening once more...

Wait.

What's this?

You listed in the title as having a 230,000.00 % profit margin.

In your post, it clearly states otherwise.

James 315 wrote:
Profit Margin:
231,646.03 %


Which one is it? You claim yourself to be a Bumping Grandmaster, a profession in which you qualify for extraordinary precision and accuracy. This precision even includes the ability to bump other people away as they are orbiting something. A 1.646.03% deviation from the profit margin is upsetting and I feel very dizzy and confused at these news.

I demand to know which profit margin is the correct one!

.

Caldari State
#9 - 2012-07-07 01:23:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Kailean
I am saddened that I never got the chance to purchase shares in this venture. However, since I fully support it I have donated 10 million ISK to James 315. It's a bit like charity, really. I'm doing this for the miners.
CODE.
#10 - 2012-07-07 01:25:06 UTC
Private Pineapple wrote:
I understand. Thank you for the clarification, I can enjoy my evening once more...

Wait.

What's this?

You listed in the title as having a 230,000.00 % profit margin.

In your post, it clearly states otherwise.

James 315 wrote:
Profit Margin:
231,646.03 %


Which one is it? You claim yourself to be a Bumping Grandmaster, a profession in which you qualify for extraordinary precision and accuracy. This precision even includes the ability to bump other people away as they are orbiting something. A 1.646.03% deviation from the profit margin is upsetting and I feel very dizzy and confused at these news.

I demand to know which profit margin is the correct one!

To be technical, the profit margin of 231,646.03% is the correct one. In headlines, one may occasionally use rounding to assist the reader. If one were to deliver an "elevator pitch," one would find it easier to remember an even 230,000. Think of the extra 1,646.03% as a bonus to reward you for reading deeply into the thread! Smile
Minmatar Republic
#11 - 2012-07-07 01:35:47 UTC
James 315 wrote:
Private Pineapple wrote:
I understand. Thank you for the clarification, I can enjoy my evening once more...

Wait.

What's this?

You listed in the title as having a 230,000.00 % profit margin.

In your post, it clearly states otherwise.

James 315 wrote:
Profit Margin:
231,646.03 %


Which one is it? You claim yourself to be a Bumping Grandmaster, a profession in which you qualify for extraordinary precision and accuracy. This precision even includes the ability to bump other people away as they are orbiting something. A 1.646.03% deviation from the profit margin is upsetting and I feel very dizzy and confused at these news.

I demand to know which profit margin is the correct one!

To be technical, the profit margin of 231,646.03% is the correct one. In headlines, one may occasionally use rounding to assist the reader. If one were to deliver an "elevator pitch," one would find it easier to remember an even 230,000. Think of the extra 1,646.03% as a bonus to reward you for reading deeply into the thread! Smile


As a bonus to reward me? That is nice of you and very respectable. However, I currently do not see this reward in my wallet. What's going on?

.

CODE.
#12 - 2012-07-07 01:41:53 UTC
Private Pineapple wrote:
As a bonus to reward me? That is nice of you and very respectable. However, I currently do not see this reward in my wallet. What's going on?

The knowledge of the correct figure is the award, not the isk itself! X
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2012-07-07 01:44:44 UTC
James 315 wrote:
Private Pineapple wrote:
As a bonus to reward me? That is nice of you and very respectable. However, I currently do not see this reward in my wallet. What's going on?

The knowledge of the correct figure is the award, not the isk itself! X


Oh. That's disappointing, but at least I can appreciate my attention to detail.

.

Goonswarm Federation
#14 - 2012-07-07 02:42:47 UTC
fantastic work, but could you post like 80% fewer words in the future
#15 - 2012-07-07 03:49:53 UTC
c-l-a-s-s-i-c

Great read, thoroughly enjoyed it.

The Mjolnir Bloc - Lowsec PvP for the sophisticated - The Mjolnir Bloc Killboards

Caldari State
#16 - 2012-07-07 09:41:18 UTC
Great Read. It was worth the shares :) If you are offering another IPO again, I wouldn't mind chipping in more :>

Player Driven Content is always good :>
#17 - 2012-07-07 14:46:30 UTC
This is a lot of writing for teh lulz. Good for you, crazy person! Big smile
Gallente Federation
#18 - 2012-07-07 14:56:08 UTC
dougfunnie wrote:
fantastic work, but could you post like 80% fewer words in the future




For a 230k% profit, he should post 230k% more words:)

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse [lady of commercial virtue]. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.- James Nicoll

Gallente Federation
#19 - 2012-07-07 15:53:18 UTC
great news, I feel proud to support you in this with my shares
CODE.
#20 - 2012-07-08 19:27:56 UTC
Tabane Shinonono wrote:
Great Read. It was worth the shares :) If you are offering another IPO again, I wouldn't mind chipping in more :>

Player Driven Content is always good :>

I'm all about emergent gameplay. It's what makes EVE special and worth playing. Idea

If my company ever decides to sell more shares, rest assured MD will be the first to know.
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