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Crime & Punishment

 
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Some dumb miners just don't learn

Author
Daemon Ceed
Ice Fire Warriors
#1 - 2012-07-05 21:58:27 UTC  |  Edited by: Daemon Ceed
In celebration of the 4th of July, Jihad Squad's fleet of glorious martyr Catalysts descended upon infidel miners in Sinq L. in an effort to finally rid the region of bots and terrible carebears alike. We also hoped to finally receive our 72 virgins.

One set of mindless fools we came about were two completely untanked Hulks, mining within 1km of eachother. They were quickly dispatched in hilarious fashion as can be seen here:

(right click link, open in new tab)
Infidel 1
Infidel 2

Believing that painting the asteroids with the blood of those who defile them would serve as a good enough warning, we left the area for awhile. Several hours later, after drinking far too much alcohol (we aren't exactly very devout Jihadists) our scout wandered back to look for more targets to hit. And there they were...the two same people in brand new Hulks, 1km from eachother. This time they actually had shield hardeners on at least. Thinking that they might be using something far more sturdy, like faction Invuls, we added one more member of our Mujahideen to the fleet and killed them both...again.

Infidel 1
Infidel 2

1 Billion ISK worth of Hulks down the pooper from the same people in a single day. The idiocy was almost as staggering as the profit: 135mil worth of T2 salvage & loot. When miners have to ask why they are hated so much, one only has to look at their behavior.

Allahu Akbar

Praise George Clooney
Bridgette d'Iberville
Better Killing Through Chemistry
#2 - 2012-07-05 22:14:49 UTC
Infidel 1 & 2 in the "Chapter 1" are the same kill. Might want to edit for full bragging.

"I considered a career in griefing, but then realized that I would never achieve the level of tear generation that CCP manages to do each and every expansion."

Daemon Ceed
Ice Fire Warriors
#3 - 2012-07-05 22:27:14 UTC
Bridgette d'Iberville wrote:
Infidel 1 & 2 in the "Chapter 1" are the same kill. Might want to edit for full bragging.


Fixed!
Corina Jarr
en Welle Shipping Inc.
#4 - 2012-07-05 23:39:45 UTC
That is rather sad. If I had just lost a Hulk, I would at least fit a tank next time...
Daemon Ceed
Ice Fire Warriors
#5 - 2012-07-06 00:03:10 UTC
Corina Jarr wrote:
That is rather sad. If I had just lost a Hulk, I would at least fit a tank next time...


To their credit, they did tank them the second time around...sorta. One would think that a person with even a modicum of intelligence would've added me to their watchlist and said unto themselves, "You know, maybe today isn't a great day to mine afk."
GreenSeed
#6 - 2012-07-06 02:41:44 UTC
i will never understand why miners fit those scanners.
Daemon Ceed
Ice Fire Warriors
#7 - 2012-07-06 07:04:38 UTC  |  Edited by: Daemon Ceed
And yet another mouthbreather that we ganked no more than 2 days ago lost his Hulk again...plus his nearly 800mil pod. God has been gracious to our Mujahideen. Clearly, this is his will.

Hi! I'm with...
Stupid!

Also, Concord was already in the belt. They could not stop us. I got off nearly 7 volleys and the pod before I was martyred. Allahu Akbar. Video will be posted this weekend.
Breezly Brewin
Vril Metaphysics Society
#8 - 2012-07-06 11:05:57 UTC
no MLU no tank just fail. i love mining but i love gankers too keep fighting the good fight dirka dirka Pirate
Korgan Medel
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2012-07-06 11:07:24 UTC
If they were in 0.9 or 1.0 could you have still pulled this off the second time? or would concord have arrived
Ryzhik Belka
Free of Taxes
#10 - 2012-07-06 12:14:01 UTC
Good luck with jihad when they buff barges EHP to battleship level.
Tauren Tom
Order of the Silver Dragons
Silver Dragonz
#11 - 2012-07-06 12:16:48 UTC
Why are you not out ganking freighters? The miner ganking is getting old and you won't be able to do it much longer anyways from what's been shown with the new battleship tanks on most mining barges.

Start ganking freighters and save up your iskies.
In the grand scheme of things... You're all pubbies. So HTFU.   "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses." - Elwood Blues
Tarryn Nightstorm
Hellstar Towing and Recovery
#12 - 2012-07-06 12:35:24 UTC  |  Edited by: Tarryn Nightstorm
Dirka-dirka...

(/Me giggles madly) URP-SPLOSION!

E:

Ryzhik Belka wrote:
Good luck with jihad when they buff barges EHP to battleship level.


Some barges will be buffed to near-BS EHP levels at the cost of mining-yield.

The Hulk, apparently, will not be one of these, and there will always be more dumb, inattentive people who think that those Cattis landing on-grid are there to share their mining--after all, you're "safe" in hisec, and "protected" by CONCORD, right?

Or, as the estimable Paul Clavet used to put it:

"Always bet on stupid!"

Star Wars: the Old Republic may not be EVE. But I'll take the sound of dual blaster-pistols over "NURVV CLAOKING NAOW!!!11oneone!!" any day of the week.

Kuehnelt
Devoid Privateering
#13 - 2012-07-06 12:45:11 UTC
Tauren Tom wrote:
you won't be able to do it much longer anyways from what's been shown with the new battleship tanks on most mining barges.


Bots will use the Hulk. Players wanting to be bots will use the Retriever. Nobody will use the Skiff - the one with the battleship tank. These Jihadists won't get bored.
Herr Hammer Draken
#14 - 2012-07-06 12:48:52 UTC
Daemon Ceed wrote:
In celebration of the 4th of July, Jihad Squad's fleet of glorious martyr Catalysts descended upon infidel miners in Sinq L. in an effort to finally rid the region of bots and terrible carebears alike. We also hoped to finally receive our 72 virgins.

One set of mindless fools we came about were two completely untanked Hulks, mining within 1km of eachother. They were quickly dispatched in hilarious fashion as can be seen here:

(right click link, open in new tab)
Infidel 1
Infidel 2

Believing that painting the asteroids with the blood of those who defile them would serve as a good enough warning, we left the area for awhile. Several hours later, after drinking far too much alcohol (we aren't exactly very devout Jihadists) our scout wandered back to look for more targets to hit. And there they were...the two same people in brand new Hulks, 1km from eachother. This time they actually had shield hardeners on at least. Thinking that they might be using something far more sturdy, like faction Invuls, we added one more member of our Mujahideen to the fleet and killed them both...again.

Infidel 1
Infidel 2

1 Billion ISK worth of Hulks down the pooper from the same people in a single day. The idiocy was almost as staggering as the profit: 135mil worth of T2 salvage & loot. When miners have to ask why they are hated so much, one only has to look at their behavior.

Allahu Akbar

Praise George Clooney


Interesting point of view.

Herr Hammer Draken "The Amarr Prophet"

Alice Shimaya
Special Weapons and Tactics.
#15 - 2012-07-06 12:59:14 UTC
This seems like pro pvp.
Ristlin Wakefield
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#16 - 2012-07-06 13:33:50 UTC
Awesome story! The Islamic vibe gives it quite the unique flavor : )

I have a lover, her name is EVE. I see her every night and all she asks in return is that I have a pilot's license.

Rat Farmer
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#17 - 2012-07-06 14:34:24 UTC
OK,

I have a dumb question; I’m somewhat new to EVE and I’m just starting to PVP in the game. Don’t you get Concorded for killing someone in high sec unless they are in your Corp or you’re at war with them?

Rat
CorInaXeraL
Order of the Silver Dragons
Silver Dragonz
#18 - 2012-07-06 14:36:21 UTC
Rat Farmer wrote:
OK,

I have a dumb question; I’m somewhat new to EVE and I’m just starting to PVP in the game. Don’t you get Concorded for killing someone in high sec unless they are in your Corp or you’re at war with them?

Rat



Yep! Hence the term 'Suicide Gank', kill them before the Concordettes get you.
Daemon Ceed
Ice Fire Warriors
#19 - 2012-07-06 16:30:26 UTC  |  Edited by: Daemon Ceed
Ryzhik Belka wrote:
Good luck with jihad when they buff barges EHP to battleship level.


I see someone does not care to take the time to read Dev notes in full, rather they choose to be lazy slopes and merely parrot misinformation that they hear from others. This usually leads to your death. God willing, it will happen often, and with his blessing I will have your pod, too.

Rat Farmer wrote:
OK,

I have a dumb question; I’m somewhat new to EVE and I’m just starting to PVP in the game. Don’t you get Concorded for killing someone in high sec unless they are in your Corp or you’re at war with them?

Rat


Yes, but our fearless Mujahideen is prepared to be martyred in order to uphold the fatwa against infidel miners and carebears. Our holy Jihad has nothing to do with the secular Hulkageddon. We are not doing it for the prizes at stake, or the 100mil ISK per 10 T2 barges as promised by Goonswarm. We only do it for Allah and our righteous prophet, George Clooney. May his camels always be free of fleas.

Tauren Tom wrote:

Why are you not out ganking freighters? The miner ganking is getting old and you won't be able to do it much longer anyways from what's been shown with the new battleship tanks on most mining barges.

Start ganking freighters and save up your iskies.


You see, my little babu, my activities do not exactly allow me to loiter long in highsec, much less lie wait on said gates in an alpha Nado. We are devising ways that this may be possible on the fly, but it is difficult. If we have a known valuable target, we will find a way to gank it. Our holy war will not be against miners alone. A battleship can be brought to it's knees by a fleet of Catalysts while under full room rat aggro. As our numbers and members swell (heh) there will be much more bloodshed. Mark my words. Expect us.
Breezly Brewin
Vril Metaphysics Society
#20 - 2012-07-07 16:12:40 UTC
these same miners that easily get ganked are only concerned about YIELD - yield above all, or maybe as in this case AFK-ability. hulk will still have the best yield and will still be used. cargo exanders and cargo rigs will still be used even though it kills your armor HP. if these miners arent going to sacrifice yield for tank with fittings now, why would they sacrifice a yield hull for a tank hull?
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