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[YC 119 New Eden Capsuleer's Writing Contest] Shadow of the Sun
Author
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Halcyon Ember
Repracor Industries
#1 - 2017-06-19 12:44:33 UTC
Tall he stands
With hair of gold
Made radiant by the sun

The face of God
For one so small
Tucked within his shadow

With eloquence fair
And cordial smile
He deals with all about

Sudden transgression
Words out of place
Thoughtless acts cause a frown

A lowering of clouds
Civility pursued
Until privacy finally obtained

Now the thunder
Percussive rumble
On yielding helpless flesh

Queen of Chocolate
Ayallah
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#2 - 2017-08-02 21:45:29 UTC
Great images and flow for the first two thirds, the flow is somewhat less good the last two verses. The ending is satisfying in its interruption of the rhythm to bring it to a close.

Goddess of the IGS

As strength goes.