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Nude physicist disrupts lectures at University of Caille
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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
#1 - 2017-03-02 20:24:54 UTC
News reaches Gutter Press from the University of Caille, where notable physicist Professor Lacroix has caused disruption to numerous lectures in the past few days !

Inconvenience !

The latest incident involved the spontaneous appearance of Professor Lacroix, nude, in the middle of a lecture being given by a different physicist, Doctor Lasalle, disrupting the lesson plan and in the words of one student, "really putting people off lunch".

Astonishing !

Doctor Lasalle gave a brief statement to Gutter Press correspondents, claiming that Professor Lacroix, who shares an office with Dr. Lasalle, was working on a "personal wormhole generator", and that misuse of University funds in the construction of a prototype device was behind the disruptions.

Slush Funds !

Professor Lacroix however, claimed that Dr. Lasalle repeatedly and maliciously unplugged a "locus co-ordinator" located in the professor's office, causing the personal wormhole device to misfire, ejecting Professor Lacroix in random locations around campus, whilst simultaneously teleporting his clothes elsewhere.

Sabotage !

Another physicist at the University, Dr. Delon, gave another perspective on the incidents. "Those two fools are trying to jockey for position to gain the corner office when senior Professor Octienne retires at the end of the year."

Intrigue !

Other academics from around New Eden remarked that this kind of internecine strife is common amongst upper echelons of academia, though seldom to the extent of spontaneous nudity.

"It's like that Gallente thing, the fromage a trois, isn't it ?", said an Amarr archaeology professor.
"Personal wormhole generators ? The very idea is preposterous !", said a Caldari economics professor.
"I suppose a wormhole would cut down on the amount of time you spend commuting", opined a Minmatar philosophy professor.

A University of Caille press officer declined to issue an official comment on the matter.

Gutter Press. News that matters.

Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
Tsao Aubbes
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2017-03-02 21:05:05 UTC
I'm quite happy I attended the Federal Navy Academy so I didn't have to deal with awkward situations, such as this one.

Tressith Sefira > You don't understand. She IS the awkward.
Ria NieyIi
#3 - 2017-03-02 21:20:09 UTC
Sounds like Prof. Lacroix could pursue a career in liberal arts.
Ameriya
Doomheim
#4 - 2017-03-02 21:45:42 UTC
Huh. The most I got away with while teaching was a transparent shirt.
Sinti Vailatti
Angelis Exploration
#5 - 2017-03-02 22:15:03 UTC
Still a better news agency than The Scope.


“Where must we go...we who wander this wasteland, in search of our better selves?”
Saccade Amir
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2017-03-02 22:18:53 UTC
whered the clothes go though? cause those tweed jackets with the elbow patch thing going on, that's nice.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#7 - 2017-03-03 00:35:30 UTC
Tsao Aubbes wrote:
I'm quite happy I attended the Federal Navy Academy so I didn't have to deal with awkward situations, such as this one.

Yup. Not once did the instructors ever do silly stuff like releasing cloth devouring nanites into other instructor's classrooms for giggles. Or spike the coffee in the Officers lounge with laxatives. Or adjust the pressure on the bidet when they thought someone was getting a bit anal.... Nope, never. Roll

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#8 - 2017-03-03 02:15:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Elmund Egivand
Claudia Osyn wrote:
Tsao Aubbes wrote:
I'm quite happy I attended the Federal Navy Academy so I didn't have to deal with awkward situations, such as this one.

Yup. Not once did the instructors ever do silly stuff like releasing cloth devouring nanites into other instructor's classrooms for giggles. Or spike the coffee in the Officers lounge with laxatives. Or adjust the pressure on the bidet when they thought someone was getting a bit anal.... Nope, never. Roll


In a military academy, pulling shite like that will result in cleaning duty at best and the brig at worst. For utterly hopeless cases, it's a dishonourable discharge. They take discipline seriously there.

Also, there is no such thing as a non-constipated military officer. At least when dealing with the grunts.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
James Syagrius
Luminaire Sovereign Solutions
#9 - 2017-03-03 03:13:41 UTC
Sinti Vailatti wrote:
Still a better news agency than The Scope.

I concur.

“Here also are the heralds of his praise."
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#10 - 2017-03-03 12:10:30 UTC
It is clear that a teleportation device wouldn't be able to send clothes separately from the living body. Otherwise, it could have just sent body parts to different places as well.

In the State such professor would be immediately fired and detained for indecent exposure. That the gallenteans allows such sort of misconduct and make it public, is another reason why the Federation must be destroyed.

I call to all retranslators to put filters in order to suppress gallente media from spreading. Such disturbing indecency must be stopped, whatever price would it cost.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
Soldarius
Dreddit
Test Alliance Please Ignore
#11 - 2017-03-03 14:54:21 UTC
Federation efficiency at its best.

http://youtu.be/YVkUvmDQ3HY
Luna Hanaya
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2017-03-03 19:20:27 UTC
Embarassing!

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Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2017-03-03 22:47:36 UTC
I really, really hate my Alma Mater.

I laughed really hard when they started asking me for donations. Made me wish paper was still used so I could've burned the letter.

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Quartz Jori
Jori's Fullerites and Salvage Inc.
#14 - 2017-03-05 03:27:13 UTC
Jason Galente wrote:
I really, really hate my Alma Mater.

I laughed really hard when they started asking me for donations. Made me wish paper was still used so I could've burned the letter.

You could've incinerated the data pad. Not like it costs an egger anything to buy a new one.