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Microsoft phone scam - Give me your suggestions for a reply.

Author
Viggen
#1 - 2016-11-25 15:48:48 UTC
Greetings all.

A couple of times recently I've had someone phone me, claiming to be from Microsoft Tech Support. They say that they have detected a virus on my system and claim they can fix it for me, but only if I follow their procedure to give them remote access to my computer.

Basically its an obvious scam reported many times online to gain remote access, to either collect bank details from my computer, or to place an actual virus on my computer, only to then demand a fee to remove it again.

The first time they called, I told them I didn't have a computer.

Second time I pretended to run my own Anti-virus software company.

So I ask you all, what would be the best reply I should give to them the next time they call. What would be an awesome response, something funny, or some way to waste their time.

Thanks in advance Cool
Nana Skalski
Taisaanat Kotei
#2 - 2016-11-25 17:15:42 UTC
Tell them you are from FBI and they are f*****g liars. Also tell them that Police is already driving in their direction and will be there is few seconds. Wish a nice day and end the conversation.
Sol epoch
HELVEGEN
#3 - 2016-11-25 18:21:54 UTC  |  Edited by: Sol epoch
Viggen wrote:
Greetings all.

A couple of times recently I've had someone phone me, claiming to be from Microsoft Tech Support. They say that they have detected a virus on my system and claim they can fix it for me, but only if I follow their procedure to give them remote access to my computer.

Basically its an obvious scam reported many times online to gain remote access, to either collect bank details from my computer, or to place an actual virus on my computer, only to then demand a fee to remove it again.

The first time they called, I told them I didn't have a computer.

Second time I pretended to run my own Anti-virus software company.

So I ask you all, what would be the best reply I should give to them the next time they call. What would be an awesome response, something funny, or some way to waste their time.

Thanks in advance Cool


1, If they have called you on a personal number ie: home or mobile then just tell them you are very busy at the moment and can you call them back! At this time ask the caller for their personal number ie: Home number and you will call them back this evening when you are free to sort the issue out. When they refuse to give you the home number then tell them that they called you on yours so what is the problem calling them back on that number!

2, If you recognise the number when they call just answer with " Cyber Investigations department" they will drop the call very quickly.
Morgan Agrivar
Doomheim
#4 - 2016-11-26 00:59:53 UTC
Tell them you refuse to deal with them until they give you their full API..then hang up.
Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#5 - 2016-11-26 03:15:09 UTC
Nana Skalski wrote:
Tell them you are from FBI and they are f*****g liars. Also tell them that Police is already driving in their direction and will be there is few seconds. Wish a nice day and end the conversation.


I'm pretty sure that that in itself is also a crime



e: unless, of course, you work for Flowers By Irene :)

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log

Yiole Gionglao
#6 - 2016-11-26 10:49:51 UTC  |  Edited by: Yiole Gionglao
Tell them "This is why I own a Mac / I only use Linux, and you should too". Cool


Now seriously, the best strategy against unwanted phone calls is to repeat "No, I am not interested, thank you" like a mantra. Whatever they say, always answer "No I am not interested, thank you". Stonewalling with this is very likely to put you in a black list and end your issues with the company calling.

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an alpha / And so it's you

Kelleth Kirk
Caldari State - Osprey Wing 7
#7 - 2016-11-26 11:30:52 UTC  |  Edited by: Kelleth Kirk
I just say "Me no speak english, you want buy fish?" And when they say no, I just continue with "You want buy fish? We have great fish! Fish for sale! Cheap fish. you want buy? Why you call if you no want buy fish? You call, you buy! Where do I send fish? We have shark ready for delivery! Only 10000 dollar! You buy!" and I just continue till they hang up.

I miss having ISK.

Nana Skalski
Taisaanat Kotei
#8 - 2016-11-26 12:58:10 UTC
Bumblefck wrote:
Nana Skalski wrote:
Tell them you are from FBI and they are f*****g liars. Also tell them that Police is already driving in their direction and will be there is few seconds. Wish a nice day and end the conversation.


I'm pretty sure that that in itself is also a crime



e: unless, of course, you work for Flowers By Irene :)

I am sure they will not call police over that.
Vastus Lesper
Doomheim
#9 - 2016-11-26 16:51:36 UTC
Oh my gods lmao we get this **** a lot on our phones. And I love messing with there heads every time. Userly I say "really? Im a computer technician and I dont know how your detecting this because my computer is offline at the moment" or some other bs like that. They userly get off the line when they think there talking to cops tracing there call.

First time we got a call like this i did do a bit of investigating online. Yes it is a scam and microsoft do not have a technical department that makes calls to housephones
Hesod Adee
Perkone
Caldari State
#10 - 2016-11-27 03:53:37 UTC
Keep them on the line as long as possible. Because every minute they are on a call with you is a minute where they aren't scamming someone who would fall for it.

Kara Hawke
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2016-11-28 20:18:19 UTC
This happened to my friend awhile back. He was told he needed to download some software to improve the security of his PC. He told them he didn't have a PC, he had a MAC. So the guy said it was fine he could use Safari to go to whatever link he was trying to get my friend to go to. My buddy asked him why a guy from Microsoft would be trying to install PC software on his MAC. The scammer didn't really have an answer for that. GOT EM!
DaReaper
Net 7
Cannon.Fodder
#12 - 2016-11-28 23:14:41 UTC
If you want to troll them, channel the dumbest customer you cna think of.

i.e.

"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"


"i do? oh my how do i remove it?"

"i cna help you! open internet explorer."

"but i'm not an internet explorere so how cna i open me?

"no.. no.. look at your desk top"

"ok.."

"see the big blue 'e'"

"no, i need a white e on a black background..."

"ok! double click that, what happens"

"'ee' appear son my screen.."

"no no.. thats your keyboard... move the mouse"

"but there is noit mouse on my desk, i'd kill it if there was!"

etc

OMG Comet Mining idea!!! Comet Mining!

Eve For life.

DaReaper
Net 7
Cannon.Fodder
#13 - 2016-11-28 23:16:25 UTC
DaReaper wrote:
If you want to troll them, channel the dumbest customer you cna think of.

i.e.

"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"


"i do? oh my how do i remove it?"

"i cna help you! open internet explorer."

"but i'm not an internet explorere so how cna i open me?

"no.. no.. look at your desk top"

"ok.."

"see the big blue 'e'"

"no, i need a white e on a black background..."

"ok! double click that, what happens"

"'ee' appear son my screen.."

"no no.. thats your keyboard... move the mouse"

"but there is noit mouse on my desk, i'd kill it if there was!"

etc


an old co worker did this once, kept one of them on the phone for two hours, said it was hilarious hearing him get frustrated. he eventually caught on said '**** you' and hung up

OMG Comet Mining idea!!! Comet Mining!

Eve For life.

Nina Hayes
Dark Horse RM
#14 - 2016-11-29 06:28:37 UTC
Tell him it is a blessing he has called and you are not surprised by this dastardly cyber attack, as you are a Nigerian Prince in need of moving several million dollars to he's account. Insist on bank routing/account numbers, Make sure you use a proper accent, not sure what that is, improvise.
Lasisha Mishi
A Blessed Bean
Pandemic Horde
#15 - 2016-11-29 15:38:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Lasisha Mishi
"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"

"Hello Microsoft, You've reached the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation, Why are you calling us from an unsecure outside line? This is a security violation. Please wait while we check with the local Microsoft security representative in our building and inquire why you are contacting us from your location and why you broke security protocol."





"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"
"Hello Microsoft, this is sex bomb bomb hotline, for all your non-legal needs. How may i assist you?"




"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"
"Hello Microsoft, this is the [insert city you live in] Police Department, please be aware this line is for emergencies only and contact of this line without a real emergency can result in a $10,000 fine and up to a year of jail time"





"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"
"Hello Microsoft, You've reached microsoft tech support, please hold"



"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"
"Hello Microsoft, this is OldGrannyXXX for all your naughty cougar needs"




.....this is fun xD

one last one
"Hi this such and such form microsoft, you have a virus"
"Hi this such and such(use a different name) from microsoft, you have a virus"

just repeat what they say as if you have the same script
Rana Ash
Gradient
Electus Matari
#16 - 2016-11-30 12:03:51 UTC
I read about this scam , and a guy that trolled them something fierce. Pretenting to be a burgler and kept them going for quite awhile.
Jezaja
Moira.
Villore Accords
#17 - 2016-12-02 09:51:24 UTC
Had one of these phone calls a few weeks ago. This is how it ends:



"Hello, this is Microsoft Support Hotline blablablabla...."
Me: "Hi,
"We encountered a problem in..."
Me: "Wait...wait...can you hear this?"
"No, can't hear. What do you mean?"
Me: "I can hear your mother crying, because you're scamming people, motherf****!"
"F*** you!"
Me: "Thanks Sir, have a nice day!"
*hung up*


Maybe this can inspire you too.

This is how you can help:
The best thing is to hold them in the line for as long as possible. Because during this time they can't call other people which may fall for their scam.

Broadcast4Reps!

......

www.giantsecurecontainer.de

......

Deutsches EVE Blogpack: www.eveblogs.de

Skinnereal
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#18 - 2016-12-13 16:11:53 UTC  |  Edited by: Skinnereal
Scammer: "Hello, this is Microsoft Support Hotline blablablabla...."
Me: "How did you tie this phone number with my PC....?"
Scammer: "Um, ur"
Me: "You're spying on me, you horrid person!".

Yes they are, but only once they have installed their malware.

Microsoft has nothing on my details to tie my phone with my PC, apart from stuff that tech support should not have access to.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#19 - 2016-12-13 23:07:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Tell them you're sure glad they called, because you've been having trouble with your computer but you can't fix it until you get your disability check, your brother-in-law used to fix it for you before he ::WHOOP:: caught is leg in a combine, and you need your computer running to Google about disability law because they only gave you a partial disability, but you have a full disability because of working as an exterminator and Phil Crawford thought it would be funny to put a little ::WHOOP:: Fipronil in your beer can, and actually if you could spare just a few dollars until my disability check comes, just say no if you don't have it, you're just happy to ::WHOOP:: have somebody to talk with, it's been lonely since Dale left, you watch a lot of videos all day but it's not the same you know, what's your name anyway? ::WHOOP:: actually you've been trying to find a live contact at Microsoft because....
Neph
Crimson Serpent Syndicate
#20 - 2016-12-14 02:51:33 UTC  |  Edited by: Neph
Get a robot to do it for you. This is the only right answer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AofZPvCWJCs

EDIT: even better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K4uWEqmJTM

~ Gariushi YC110 // Midular YC115 // Yanala YC115 ~

"Orte Jaitovalte sitasuyti ne obuetsa useuut ishu. Ketsiak ishiulyn." -Yakiya Tovil-Toba-taisoka

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